Blowing my mind lately!
I see now why I was so rigid and strict with her bedtime/rituals for four years. The fruit is now producing.
By 7pm, I’m ready for her to go to bed for me, not for her. Therefore, I attempted to test an idea.
I cannot control when she is tired and for me to say, “You must go to bed at 7pm,” well, that is not fair if she is just not tired. It also is a way for her to stay up a bit later without me being in the room involved with her.
We go through our bedtime rituals starting at about 6pm. Playing with Coti has to begin the fun, and then upon this whiz bang fun, we wind down with about five books. (sometimes more sometimes less). Then we pray, brush, pull-ups, and hug kiss goodnight. She always wants me to tuck her in.
Then then then, I say, “OK honey, you may get out of bed and play if you’re not tired, but you MUST stay in your room. I’m not coming back in so this is your time and yours alone; I trust you!”
Guess what? It works like charm and is a win-win. I am “off the clock” by 7pm, she sleeps in a bit, and she also has a bit of fun with boundaries.
Tonight, she came to the doorway and said she was going to read. This is often what she does when she is in her room as I usually find over twenty books down by her bed.
Note: 
So, she told me she was going to read her fairytale books. I hear her in her bed reading with such song in her voice. It’s music to my ears.
Her yelling, “I love you mommy! See you in the morning!” makes my heart sing. When she is finished, she’ll often say, “Mommy, I’m tired,” and she’ll turn off her light and go right to sleep. Disciplined.
Wow, I’m raising a little adult.