She looks for the way around the rule, but still keeps it. Case in point….. When she was a WEEEE tot, she loved her binky. Then, she graduated to her fingers. However, in church yesterday, I resurrected the binky from her bag. She put it in her mouth since that is what she does with everything lately. BUT, she did not put it in her mouth the way it was intended to be used. Instead, she decided to try all the sides, then chose to chew the other end.
Tatum is no ordinary gal, and I sure love that about her! 🙂
August 22nd, 2012, a phone call changed my life forever.
Do I want to a child? Do I want a newborn baby? Is that a question you can answer without tons of prayer and consideration? However, if you say “No, thank you,” then will it be a regret for the rest of your life? I coulda…. I shoulda….. What if I….. Haunting questions.
When I dreamed about being a mother, it was a far fetched vision, because I was never in the right situation to be a parent. A child needs a mother and a father; these thoughts pervaded my mind as I grew up under a single parent. Then, when I got married, I knew we would be parents. But time kept ticking away, and the marriage slowly disintegrated. Hence, the dream of being the 1/2 of a parental unit faded fast. Being single in your 30’s, you decide that it will just happen in God’s time; you don’t even question its possibility; you just know it will happen.
The pool of candidates to date drained fast, and boyfriends came on strong. Some were more close to the “one” than others, but I clung to hope. It had to happen! How could it not?
Fast forward to the fffff.ffff.ffff…forties. What? I’m what? Marriage was much more of a possibility with some of the nice guys I started to date. But being a mother? Hmmmm. Not so much. Those darn eggs expire much sooner than our male counterpart’s parts. Also, most of the men are either already fathers or have no desire to be one. My dream shifted; Perhaps I’d be a great stepmom! Yes, that is perfect. I will step in and be that “other” parent. How complicated could it be? It was not His plan at this time.
When a relationship ended about two years ago with a man who wanted no children, I had a wake up call. This mom thing is not going to happen the old-fashioned, traditional way. It’s going to require me to take some action and then let God figure out the results. Around February of 2012, a dear friend opened my eyes to the concept of fostering a child. Now, for some reason, deep down, adopting a child had ALWAYS been something I desired to do someday. In my opinion, taking in an unwanted child is the greatest form of love; he/she is TRULY chosen and WANTED! So, I began the process of researching this; it was only in the genesis of this process did THE phone call in August occur.
And so it began…the adoption process. I think it is good that I had NO idea how much work the process can be because I probably would have thought I could not do it. The amount of paperwork, background checks, visits, money and time it takes would scare off anyone. But, God had another thing in mind. He made the process so darn simple, that when people told me the horror stories, I could not relate. Also, the birth parents were so amenable to this process which made it even more shockingly easy.
When Tatum was born on November 22, 2012, the “official” adoption day seemed like an eon away. Also, she was with me from the minute she came out of the womb, so she always felt like my daughter; we had an incredible bond. Today, May 23, 2012, one day after her 6-month birthday, I entered the courtroom to become her official mommy.
My court representative asked me my name, address and a few other simple questions. Commissioner Rummage (the judge) spoke, “Tatum Isabella Knight is now officially your legal daughter.”
My mom has been with me through thick and thin, and I’m honored and blessed by her.
Nancy Ledner, Dick and Marilyn Jordahl, my mom and I teared up and smiled.
Without the constant love and support from a LONG LIST of people, I could not have done this.
Little Tatum, I love you with all my heart. May angels surround you, and may you be filled with knowledge of how special and loved you are. May God light your path, and may you have knowledge and passion for your FATHER and a relationship with Him through Christ.
Today, I am 6 months OLD! Can you believe I have come this far. I barely fit into my BUMBO! My legs are really filling out. It’s a good thing I have my little birdy blanket to keep me comfortable.
Did you know I have graduated to Size 2 diapers now? Well, mom had to go out and buy some new ones ASAP. You see, I’m erupting…literally exploding out of my Size Onesies. It’s no fun waking up the household at 1am because I’ve completely leaked all over my blankies.
So, in the meantime, as I wait for my new diapers, I’ll enjoy an appetizer of fore and middle fingers. I sure wonder what else I could put in my mouth?
Every year for the past ten years, I would dread birthdays. This year, I didn’t feel like I was an expired tomato! Somehow, God has restored my youth by blessing me beyond comprehension. Mothering Tatum Isabella Knight has allowed me to be young again. How? Well, as I approached my 40’s, The dream of being a mother was fading away quickly. Never had I dreamed that I would be granted the gift of a child, let alone a beautiful little girl.
She had a phenomenal day as well! This was the first time she made it through the whole church service, and she also rode around in my pouch during mom’s showing of her house. What a blessing!
Here’s a rundown of the day via pictures!
Today, I am not only one year older, I’m renewed in character, motivation and inspiration.
This week, Tatum’s hearing will be taking place. She will be completely my daughter by law. It truly is a beautiful time.
Six months ago, our lives looked completely different. We both could not have imagined the changes which were about to pervade our lives.
I must share with you the abundance of feelings that overwhelm me today, this Mother’s Day 2013.
First, you have sacrificed so very much for me. No longer have you had the opportunity to have your own time; it’s been enveloped with Tatum and me. That has to be hard, although joyful, it’s hard after you have been so independent for so many years. I recognize that beauty of all that you have done.
You have opened your house up and overhauled it in record time. You did not need to do this, and I know you say you would have, but deep down, I know how difficult it has to have been for you; not only physically, but emotionally. Years and years of items you have accumulated which were very meaningful, you have had to rifle through and make decisions about. And for what? Me. You cannot fathom the depth of my appreciation.
Next, you have had to put up with my stress with a new baby, moving out of a comfort zone, and a difficult injury. My moods are not always so pleasant, and yet you have been there through it all. Again, your sacrifice and your selflessness overwhelm me and make me so grateful.
I can only pray that I can be as lovely as you have been to me all of my life. Not one moment goes by where I doubt how much you love me with all of your heart. I want Tatum to know that kind of love. I’m so very blessed to have you. And now, I get to raise my daughter with you. There is no greater gift that I can imagine.
May you never forget, and may I always remind you how much I love you.