Golf Chick’s Latest: Pass the Digital Manners



“Keep a napkin on your lap and don’t reach for things; ask to have them passed to you!” Sound familiar? Great advice for a child. No, for all of us. But how long has it been since you have had a meal with your real friends? It is easy to NOT spend time with people you know in real life because you are too busy Facebooking or Tweeting your “friends.” But, it is a reality that these mediums exist. Good thing that everything you need to know about wise social media-ing has been taught by “Raising Children 101” so it is not difficult. Why do I bring this up? It has come to recent attention that athletes more than ever are using social media to stay in the game. Why should they? More importantly, why should we? Read on.

If you are over the age of 30 (or fffffforty), did you know, according to, on average at age 8, children are regularly online. Also, if over 25% of teens log onto social media about 10 times a day (and they do because they want to be connected), then might it be a bit important to understand it? Although, I’m not in the generation that grew up with Facebook, the generations below us now are “expecting” MORE and MORE information and connection. It is not enough to just read a book or watch a movie or event. And just watching our favorite athletes on TV and seeing highlights of games the day after is insufficient. We now want those backstage passes to give our feedback and meet the band. We don’t want front row seats anymore; we want to be in the batter’s box or on the sidelines listening to the trash talk of the players. Give me instantaneous connection with my athletes! They have responded and are using Facebook and Twitter to talk about their games, further their future business opportunities, create their “brand” and stay connected to fans.

Companies are as well. Harry Arnett, Callaway Golf’s director of marketing, told that for them, “It’s pretty much the centerpiece of everything we do. It’s critical for us because that’s a very engaged group of fans of our brand that are also up to speed on the fastest ways to communicate with their friends and other golfers.”

Tony Hawk and Shaq are a couple of top sports stars active on Facebook and Twitter. They love the hype. One fan notes, “It is insane how common Twitter has become in the sporting world. It appears that every athlete, coach and analyst has their own account.” Sadly, however, it has become headline news as of late due to “unsportsmanlike conduct.” Chad Ocho-cinco of the Cincinati Bengals and Larry Johnson formerly of the Kansas City Chiefs seem to use Twitter as a medium for trash talk. Shame shame; where’s the class?

In golf, we have our top 9 as well according to (Thanks to social media, Facebook to be exact, they posed a “who’s your favorite tweeter” question to fans and got their answer)

9. John Cook

8. Andres Gonzales

7. Hunter Mahan

6. Graeme McDowell

5. Bo Van Pelt

4. Rickie Fowler.

3. Ian Poulter

2. Bubba Watson.

1. Jason Dufner.

 They may not have a personality on the course, but off, they show it all on social media, especially Jason Dufner who has quite the wit off the green. They have been on par with branding themselves wisely by providing substantial content and intelligent answers to golf debates. Many contribute to the community frequently and, with class, engage among their followers; they are “social”.

So, if you are a golfer, you can take the game a step further and follow your courses on Facebook, your pro on Twitter, or find out about the latest club, driver or happening event by talking to others. And as a golfer, you know manners are key.

If you will allow me this tangent, from a virtue perspective, should we question whether the millennials are still valuing the same face-to-face communication ethics? Integrity, sincerity, and patience, for example, are tête-à-tête necessities. Are these going away? They will argue that they have MORE to deal with now that we are in a digital age. Change does not necessarily mean that tradition has become obsolete. In fact, these timeless truths are things we teach our children. Simple. Straightforward. Necessary. There is old wisdom, just like raising children in this new day, and these rules should apply if you are to engage in social media, whether you are a pro, an amateur, or just a spectator.

TIPS for RAISING CHILDREN: Apply to Social Media Habits

1.     Don’t interrupt

Since this is not face-to-face, you probably wonder how can one interrupt? Overtweeting (or posting) is a way of overstaying your welcome or dominating a conversation. Unless you are personally witnessing a hurricane in Arizona, don’t give a play by play of your day. It clogs the system and really is unnecessary. You have to have a sifter in your head. Tweet or post the rocks and let the sand sift through. This is one thing the big 9 had in common. They had valuable things to say which didn’t need to be tweeted 20 different ways.

Another big no-no is choosing to tweet or post while you are actually in the middle of doing something, like DRIVING or DINING with a friend.

Be in your moment and wait your turn.

2.     When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first.

Not a bad idea! It is pretty sad when you need to borrow someone’s tweets without giving them credit. Be original. If you cannot be, don’t press those buttons. If you must retweet, put RT, and then put the @ username. Think about it, if you are a writer you need to think like one and be polite (don’t plagiarize). While I’m at it, proofread. Nothing is more annoying than typos. You had time to type 140 characters, so you have time to reread it.

3.     Keep negative opinions to yourself; the world is not interested in what you dislike.

But doesn’t negative sell? Yes. That is the problem. I think you are better than that, and I think you have class, especially if you are a golfer. I also know that you are building a brand (or selling YOU) when you are in the public eye and you have to ask yourself, who do you want to be: Spreader of good or spreader of trash? Do you want to add value or detract?

Many people use Facebook or Twitter as a public platform to say something about someone else. Would you say this to their face?

Example, You decide you don’t want to follow someone and you announce it to the world. Uncool. Just do it and carry on.

4.     It’s not all about you. You talk. They listen. They talk. You listen.

We live in a bit of a narcissitic time, and it is easy to get caught up in the “This is MY post/MY tweet/MY thought. You must read and respond and acknowledge my brilliance.”

Rickie Fowler, although a fine golfer, tends to show that, yes, he lives the dream life. For him, it is all about his outfit, his culinary experience or his photo shoots. He is Rickie Fowler after all. But the fact that he knows this is disconcerting. However, for us Joe Schmoes out there, here is a tip: Unless you are a pro athlete, don’t tell us you are at the gym. AND unless you have a personal chef, and your Eggplant Parmesan was made with 14 K gold bread crumbs and served by Rickie Fowler, it is just not that interesting. We all understand that your dinner was one of the best of your life, but let’s face it; your dinner at Joe Bob’s Kitchen is not news breaking.

Finally, “checking in” on Facebook is an odd feature. Great…let me tell everyone I am at XYZ at 2am. At that point, you are going to need your 2000 virtual friends to come help you when someone has broken in to your empty home.

5.     Think before you speak.

This is what I like about John Cook. Known as “Cookie”, he many not have quantity tweets, but he definitely gives his fans quality. He deals with the latest topics and gives his sincere opinion.

Before you hit that final send, post or tweet button, reread, rethink it. Also, please share information with close friends before posting it on Facebook.

Example: You have just played golf with a good buddy, and you have shared that you may be looking for another job. Next thing you know, he has posted this on his Facebook page for his 1700 friends before checking with you. One of his friends is your boss’s sister’s husband’s niece.

Or, perhaps, maybe you had a bad experience at Troon. Instead of Tweeting your frustration, be a classy guy or gal and go see the manager. Maybe there was a miscommunication, misunderstanding or lack of judgment on  one of the party’s fault.

6.     Be appreciative and say “thank you.”

 I’ll take this a step further. Graeme McDowell (GMac) seems to really appreciate his fans. He treats them like he would another pro, and he loves to engage with them.

You may post an idea or a question to your circle, and you get many responses. To be grateful and say thank you, or to send a private note to someone sharing appreciation, is a classy move. It never gets old to be humble.

7.     Don’t call people mean names or make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak.

Remember there is a human on the other side of the screen. Enough said.

It is up to YOU: Take ownership of your life, your golf game, and your social media habits!

Before we part ways, remember ONE LAST tip. This one is the most important of them all:

8.     Keep a napkin on your lap and don’t reach for things; ask to have them passed to you.

Now, GO have a real meal with a real friend and take a break from your virtual ones. Then go play a game of golf phone free (unless you are using it to take a picture of the beautiful outdoors).




SSSSHHH. A One Week Challenge

ssshhhh2For a sport that requires so much silence, ironically, waves have been made over much noise created by two golfers. This is irony at its best. We have all done it; Words have escaped your lips, and within milliseconds, you think…(*slo mo moment*): Waaaaaaiiiiiiit. You wish you had a virtual hook to tongue-reel in those words back into your mouth. Too late; it’s already out there. Where the words go is out of your control. If you offend, you offend. If people laugh, they laugh; the words you say become the fuel for someone else’s reaction. The part YOU control is over, sad but true. Now, add a layer: If you speak to an audience, and thanks to the instant explosion of media reaction which will tear you down and spit you out within minutes, you are held to a higher standard.

Take the case of Sergio Garcia’s comment about Tiger Woods in front of the entire Ryder Cup team at the European Tour’s annual dinner. When (jokingly?) asked by Golf Channel’s Steve Sands how often he will invite Woods around for dinner at next month’s US Open, Garcia replied: “We will have him around every night. We will serve fried chicken.”

The level of fury radiating from this and dispersing across the airways was rapidly analyzed and interpreted. All due to a few harmless words? (or so you thought at the moment of airing) Sergio probably wished he could take those 12 words back, but now, it is up to the media to break him down and then turn to Woods for “comment” which furthers the sting for Sergio. (Oh, they love this propaganda-like ability to take this and explode it furthering the issue to more than perhaps needed) Woods tweeted the comment to be “wrong, hurtful and clearly inappropriate.” So, now that the object of the comment takes offense to it, we are not qualified to comment on how we feel. He was wronged.

Sadly, however, we are now looking at the character of Sergio, and this may be hurting his career

Over a few words!?


I have been reading this story now for a few weeks, and if you are like me, you think that could have been me! I know I have said something without thinking.

Seneca, the Roman Philosopher once said, “Speech is the index of the mind.” Add to that Jesus who states, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” (Mat. 12:34). Furthermore,  James, Jesus brother says, “the tongue is “a fire, a world of iniquity, and “the tongue a “deadly poison.” Ouch!

This made me further think about WORDS. What we say must be in line with our heart. So one must go straight to the heart and check there first.

My goal is not to experience delayed intelligence, but have wisdom as I speak. (not after!)

The beauty of the golf course is it gives us a chance to BE QUIET and think. This may be the time to think about these principles, so delayed intelligence does not become something you have to experience. If you find yourself feeling regret, first, be glad you feel regret. This shows you have a repentant heart and know you need to make a TURN. There, however, may be another clue that lessons are needed: Do you talk a lot? If you are always waiting for others to silence so you can speak up, chances are you say some…MANY wrong things. So, stop talking and LISTEN now.

First if you do play golf, this one will be easy! If not, maybe you need some duct tape. Try these all for ONE WEEK.

  1. Zip it. Try to use your two ears instead of your one mouth for a change. Spend a week observing and taking things in. Maybe your heart will change in some areas. Plus, maybe you will not be so reactive.
  2. This silence will allow you to slow down and think. Awkward silence is just that. Awkward. Not wrong. Sometimes it is best to just take a deep breath and make a wise choice before words come flying out. Believe me, they are ready to soar because you have your opinions. Just hold on for a few seconds! However, BEFORE you speak, you have a hierarchy you must funnel your words through. I’ll use Sergio as an example to illustrate the point.


NUMBER ONE: Are your words truthful?
In Sergio’s case, I’ll opt for thumbs up. He probably would serve fried chicken. Paula Dean would be an ideal person to help him with this! This way, he would not have to go through the Colonel’s drive-thru. Check it out: It only takes 14 minutes and is easy easy easy! And hey, he might try serving some Spanish rice as to make it a complete meal. Guy Fieri has my personal favorite, but this will set him back about one hour. Here you go, Serg: However, if Sergio was not being truthful, then we must move on to the next one.

NUMBER TWO: Are your words necessary?

Let’s take a look at the question. “Would you have Tiger Woods over for dinner?” This is not a trick question. In fact, it demands a one-word answer. To expand on the answer is risky. The superfluous words supplied by Sergio may have been necessary if he was needing to explain his menu but he wasn’t given that task. Still, maybe he thought it was necessary to try to be funny. BUT, he’d have to pass the final test before his words could escape his lips.

NUMBER THREE: Are your words kind?

The sarcastic offer to cook fried chicken for golf’s superstar, not only had a hint of casual racism but did nothing to uplift the individual. Moreover, it did nothing to contradict the underlying prejudice that golf is a white-man’s sport.


We could take a few lessons from Atticus Finch, the sagacious lawyer/father in To Kill A Mockingbird. The best line in the book, and one we can all learn from is when he is addressing the narrator/protagonist, Scout, his 8-year-old daughter. He says, “First of all, if you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…. until you climb into his skin and walk around in it. “(Lee 30)

Being kind means being empathetic and thoughtful. Being kind, means checking your heart before you speak, and making sure that if you do not have something nice to say, do NOT say it. No matter if Sergio thought it was kind or not, he did not think about how Tiger would have taken it. He did not “walk around in his shoes for a while.”

We can all learn a lot from the Sergio-Tiger duo. Hopefully they can too. Next time you tee it up, remember, that silence is golden more often than not. It is in golf. Again, the world of golf gives us crucial lessons for life. I challenge you to try these steps for one week and see if you have fewer conflicts (and maybe better scores!)




Don’t blame it on luck

Some would say I am unlucky. As I sit here writing these words, my left casted leg is propped up due to my need for elevation. Approximately one month ago, I was doing some step-ups and heard a loud pop as if someone had taken a bat to the back of my calf. Since I was alone when this happened, I knew it was not a wooden object whapping my leg. Fast-forward two days; sitting in the Dr.’s office, he informed me I had a full tear of my Achilles tendon. Peachy. I’m off my foot for many days and weeks. Looks like my luck ran out. Or did it? I had everything to do with this injury, and perhaps there was a bigger purpose for it. So, what is my take on luck? After doing some real research on the matter, I have concluded that it does not exist.

There is much more to luck and “un”luck than just coincidence. First, I need to discuss the idea of luck before I can launch into what this has to do with golf. Richard Wiseman, author of The Luck Factor, conducted a ten-year scientific study into the nature of luck, and it showed that people make their own good and bad fortune. He also noted that it is possible to enhance the amount of luck people encounter in their lives. In fact, he discovered four basic principles to people creating their luck in life. “They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.“ (Wiseman) It sounds like luck is a state of mind that may be cultivated. Over the years he studied and interviewed countless numbers of people. Based on his findings, luck is not a magical ability or the result of random chance. “Although lucky and unlucky people have almost no insight into the real causes of their good and bad luck, their thoughts and behavior are responsible for much of their fortune.”

Many people think that much of golf involves luck. If you are a scratch golfer, you might like to believe that. Maybe you constantly complain about the wind or your clubs or the clubhouse or the greens or that tree in the way of your shot. When your ball bounces off some foliage and jumps out-of-bounds, it’s not unlucky. On the contrary, if your shot sails right through the thickest tree on the course, it’s not luck. Apart from winning the daily draw for a tee time on the Old Course at St. Andrews, or weather issues, there is no such thing as luck in golf either!

Think about it. You’re on the course, and you hit one of those “unlucky” shots. Next thing you know your mental state is agitated and somehow your countenance makes you nervous. That club and ball knows you feel this way and, like a dog, can sense your frustration. Now, they will not cooperate and you are getting angrier. You’ve let that “unlucky” shot get the best of you.  All these reactions will hurt your golf game. Maybe you’d start to feel like the golf gods were against you or the course is mad at you. Either way, you would probably not be in the right frame of mind to play well and you’d start thinking more about your bad luck than the shot you’re about to hit. Conversely, good luck can positively impact your state of mind as well.

According to Michael Agger of Slate Magazine,  “(with extremely few exceptions) the top 20 finishers benefitted from some degree of luck. But again, according to Wiseman, “lucky people” are skilled (did you catch that?) at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.” Now, if it was complete luck involved, golfers like, Zach Johnson, Steve Stricker, Peter Hanson, Bo Van Pelt, and Carl Pettersson, would be winning more trophies. Why are they not? According to Fred Altvater of, these players have performed in the big events and have earned their status in the golf world but are just under the radar and have yet to win for “whatever reason.” If we could get inside their minds, maybe we could diagnose why.

Graeme McDowell, not the usual household golfer name is being called “lucky.” Is he lucky? Just this past January, on the 18th hole at the Abu Dhabi HSBC Championship, McDowell hit his third shot far past the green only to see it bounce off the grandstand and roll back to just near a couple of feet of the cup. This Irishman would go on to birdie the hole. He had the “luck of the Irish.” The theory behind this slogan is many, but the Urban Dictionary defines the Irish as not necessarily luck they possess but an “attitude the Irish keep; they have a positive look at a bad situation. In fact, “The Irish didn’t survive a potato famine, and being treated as 3rd class citizens upon their arrival to the U.S. (till the mid-late 1900’s) by not having a positive outlook and a great sense of humor!”(

It is true that golf is a psychological kick in the rear. Any of the top players, like Phil Mickelson, can bring his top golf skills to a tournament and lose. You wan watch all the Golf Channel you want, and be obsessed with your swing, your grip, your speed….but maybe think strategy. Think of your thinking. The luckiest people I know are those who set themselves up to win big and do just that!

So, the next time you are “unlucky” at your game, don’t blame it on luck – you caused the ball to react the way it did once it left your clubface. Take your penalty strokes and start gearing up for the next shot. That way, you won’t let an “unlucky break” undo your whole round. If luck exists or not, either way, the luck of the game will go your way if like, Wiseman concludes, you start cultivating the right state of mind. And me? I’m not unlucky; I need to re-think every little step I take.

To Mow or not to Mow

Mowing the lawn at 10:00 AM is too early and much too strenuous for many husbands. However, did you ever notice that it seems to be a lot easier for them to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf? The dense fog, rain conditions, or scorching heat doesn’t even seem to deter them. I found it amazing how my friends’ husbands who never helped out around the house had no problem replacing their divots, repairing their ball marks, and raking their sand traps.

This led me to ponder what it was about the game of golf that makes some so crazily obsessed. Is it the fact that one gets to ride around in a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs, and do some male bonding? Maybe it was a chance to get closer to God, because on Sun- days you sure see many men out on the course, and they are doing lots of praying!

So why do men really choose to play golf? And, why would a woman want to start? According to Debbie Steinbach Keller from Venus Golf, “men choose to play golf because it’s a challenge and there is a conquerable ‘enemy’ to attack and beat.” In fact, most men do little chatting while they play because they are not multi-taskers. For women, it’s much more personal and social. Women like the relational aspect of the game. Perhaps it’s a way for her to bond with her husband, her friends, or a potential mate. Women seem to be able to chat, laugh, and even swing at the same time.

Now that I have some time on my hands, I figured it was time to see what all the fuss was about. Purchasing a set of clubs and finding a good instructor was my first step. This required doing some research, and if you’re serious, the information is out there. However, when you don’t know what you don’t know, it’s difficult to know what kinds of questions to ask. I started watching the Golf Channel and talking to various people who seemed to be knowledgeable about the sport. Through my discussions, however, I have discovered that the less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing. So, I have chosen to stay loyal to my instructor and not seek others for advice.

As my lessons have progressed, I have found my athleticism to be virtually irrelevant because the game of golf seems to be 90% mental and 10% mental. It requires a dedication of focus, relaxation, and much patience. Who has all that!? But what a life les- son it provides. This is the mentally challenging part; if I over think my swing, I ruin it. So I try to never keep more than three hundred separate thoughts in my mind during my swing.

So let’s get back to the 10:00 AM lawn mowing dilemma. Who really wants to ever mow a lawn, regardless of what time it is.And who am I to tell a man that raking a sand trap isn’t fun? In other words, I don’t have an answer for you—afterall, I am not an advice columnist! But before all the wives start to email and call, let me just say that I am on your side—that lawn needs to be mowed. I am think- ing it’s a prime opportunity for some compromise. You get something, he gets something and you get another thing and then we are all happy! But seriously, whether the challenge is to ‘conquer the enemy’, have a fun day on the links, or manicure the yard, I am finding that perspective is required. And I learned about this perspective on the links. For that I have to be grateful to the game of golf.

The Golfer’s Guide to Marital Bliss

1. Get out of the Sand trap

About a month ago, I was hacking away, as usual, playing golf with a dear friend. The sunset was threatening our hopeless game, and I hit my 17th hole shot into a deep sand trap. Slowly, I stepped into the sand, and next thing you know, I’m laying flat on my back. So, my not so smooth game just became worse as my foundation slid and allowed me to collapse.


Everything goes along smoothly for a while, then one day, out of the blue, you hit a sand trap. It can be something uncomplicated like my fall, or it can be huge, even threaten a relationship.

*wince* “But I ask him every day to pick up his socks…. He just won’t….  He can’t seem to…. I’ve asked him _______ly! (insert verb ex: nice, beg, sweet, angry).” Has any of it worked? Probably not.

First, I must ask if this is a hill on which you want to die? Is this an issue that you can change or is it something that you can let go?  Guess what? You cannot change your spouse.

So, you can choose to stay in the sand trap and continue to whack away at that ball, while sand blows in your face…OR…. You can choose to accept the situation and work with it. Maybe try a different strategy like using your sand wedge and gently pitch the ball instead of whacking it with full force.

2. Carrying A Load

Sometimes you need to let it go. Maybe you need to take the cart for a while and put the bag down. Your bag of clubs can get pretty heavy mostly when you stash old Kit Kat wrappers, broken tees and loose change in the pockets. Are you holding on to the stuff in the side pockets dealing with past hurts, issues or anger?

Apparently, A new study shows that carrying your golf clubs and walking 18 holes of golf may have a negative affect on your golf swing and performance as you play 18 holes which was presented at the 55th American College of Sports Medicine. Proof positive that all that baggage may be detrimental to your health. Not only that but another source was noted to say that carrying your clubs reduces your height by 0.2mm!  If you are carrying a load of anger and resentment, you need to place park your bag, get in the cart with your mate, and talk it out. Otherwise you’ll be a short, exhausted human being.

3. Lost Ball? The Five-Minute Rule


So, you have hit your ball somewhere in the parking lot. No, maybe it is in the field next door among the bristles or perhaps it is among the pile of leaves along the clubhouse. Hmmmm. You have five minutes to find it. GO…! Now, you may not find it in that five minutes, and if you don’t it’s a one stroke penalty to the score.


Are the conversations with your mate one-sided? Maybe she or he does ALL the talking and you sit there repeating, “Yes Dear..” Maybe you should try asking questions! Moreover, when your spouse gives you an answer, delve deeper. Give this a try for a minimum of five minutes to start. Ask your spouse how he/she feels and then listen. Listen without giving advice or reacting emotionally. Try to understand life from his/her perspective. Then demonstrate your understanding by summarizing what you’re hearing. If you spend at least five minutes a day asking questions and expressing genuine interest in his/her ideas or thoughts, you might find your missing ball.

4. “FORE!”

Look out ahead! Now there are times in the marriage when you need to just take one day at a time and enjoy the ride; however, you should plan for things to do together. Take initiative to spend time with your spouse. Don’t wait for your spouse to make a date with you or to set time to talk with you. Suggest it yourself. Do you go out on dates? Do you sit down at the beginning of the week or month and take some time to plan? Families that play together, stay together.


If you don’t do this and take initiative, “Fore” may be what you really hear; you are in “danger” zone of not connecting lately. Don’t let this go by. Take ACTION!

Connection has to happen daily, let alone weekly and monthly. However, you can avoid the big problems if you take care of communicating and dating as much as possible.

5. Evaluate your swing

Guess what? You have faults! Sorry to break it to you, but you aren’t perfect. People with strong character are aware of their faults and work to better themselves. Now, if I know you, and if you are like any red-blooded human being, you could probably work on something in your life. To have a good swing, for example, you need to have

  • Patience
  • Commitment
  • Practice
  • A bit of Luck

To have a good marriage, you need to have… guess what? The same four things (if not more).  Maybe it’s time to evaluate your swing. Take some time and look in the mirror to find some weakness YOU possess. If you work on that, maybe your marriage will improve. Remember, character is built from humility.


6. Take a Mulligan when needed

When I was a child, my favorite phrase as the “Double Dutch Champion of Pueblo Road” was “Do over!” What a relief to know I could try again and better my time. When a player messes up or “muffs” his or her first try at a tee box, he/she can take a mulligan. Who would have imagined that grown-ups have this opportunity. The idea of mulligan in marriage reminds me of GRACE. Have grace with your mate. Sometimes we need a real do over when we make a mistake. I recently read, In, The Grace Wakening, Chuck Swindoll calls grace “the oil that lessens the friction in marriage.”  But, it must be mutual. One cannot be the ball and the other the club. They both are active and part of the work.


7. The Spirit of the Game

Unlike many sports, golf relies on the integrity of the individual to show kindness for other players. All players should behave in a disciplined manner, demonstrating courtesy at all times. This is the spirit of the game.  As in golf, in marriage (and any relationship!) kindness goes along ways to create warmth and positive feelings in a relationship. Every day there are opportunities for undemanding, kind gestures that show you care. The smallest thing like a compliment or a hug can make any marriage better.

Once again, the game of golf provides valuable lessons for life. Will these seven tips invite bliss into your home? Follow these rules, just like with your game, and your marriage will turn into a hole-in-one.

Dad’s Instruction Book

Dad’s Little Instruction Book on Life (AKA Golf)

As I have been chatting with women in golf as of late, I have found that Dads are full of it….wisdom that is. I also realized they all encouraged their daughters to get out there and play life’s hardest sport. These women shared some of the other wonderful pieces of advice they learned from their fathers. The following are 10 Life Instructions from Dads. Best of all, these little “instructions” can be learned on the golf course. Thanks, Dad!

If it were easy, everybody would do it. Think about it. A hundred and forty-four people play in the tournament, and a hundred and forty-three of them are not going to win. Ouch. The game chews you up, spits you out, and tramples all over you. There are only a few who can get back up over and over again after being pummeled by that little white ball. It’s those “Weebley” people who continually get knocked down and pop back up who are the winners.

Watch a sunrise at least once a year.

What idiot gets up at the crack of 0’dark thirty and tees it up? A golfer does.
And they get the beauty of seeing every beautiful sunrise. Who’s the idiot now?

Treat everyone you meet as you want to be treated.

Have you ever realized that the etiquette golfers show to one another on the course is one
of the things that distinguishes golf from all other sports? Golf etiquette
is an extremely important part of the game. Your manners and character (or the lack thereof) that you display on the course will say more about you as a golfer and a person than anything you ever do with your clubs. Proper etiquette applies to everyone and does not discriminate.

Make new friends but cherish the old ones.

Golf is truly a game unlike any other, from the diverse and unique people that you meet, to the memo- rable moments that you have out on the course. Sue Wieger, a local golf pro, says that, “Golf has given me so many gifts in my lifetime; travel, great friends on and off the golf course and a sense of connecting with my authentic self while playing.”

Don’t waste time learning the “tricks of the trade.” Instead, learn the trade.

Are you one of those people who try to find the secret to playing better golf? Good news, you can stop looking. Bad news, you just have to play. That’s the secret.

Be brave and keep your cool.

Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. Even the best PGA Tour players lose their cool, but losing your cool can cost you big-time. One of the most difficult aspects of life…I mean the game of golf…. is main- taining a calm, steady and persistent demeanor. For those who really know the dynamics of a powerful swing, maintaining a relaxed body and mind is what good golf is really all about.

Never cheat.

Right now you are thinking…. of course, I would NEVER cheat. I have one word for you: Mulligan. Now, there is a difference between cheating and bending the rules. In golf, there are RULES and then there are rules to be bent. So you take a first-tee mulligan…big deal. Maybe on one hole you don’t feel like trudging back to the tee to hit another. Instead, you take a stroke and drop a ball as if you were in some kind of water hazard. Again, no big deal. And perhaps you lip-out and pick-up, rather than tapping your last putt in – I wouldn’t mind; this isn’t the pros! So, if you ARE one of those rulebook holy rollers, then A: You are a professional or B: You need a life. Have some fun, but know the difference be- tween cheating and bending the rules.

Never take action when you’re angry.

Be angry, yet do not play golf. OR, sign up for anger management by taking solo golf lessons. Golfing will reveal IF you even have any anger issues; trust me! No one is able to avoid poor shots, BUT, you can control the reaction. Is this not true for life also? Make an effort to take in the scenery, converse with your playing partners, enjoy the outdoors, anything that enables you to not take your score so seriously. Maybe this will be the antidote for dealing with your issues altogether!

Stay humble.

To say “golf is hard” is like saying “the sky is blue” or “the world is round.” It’s self-evident. My dad would always say this about life as well, and he would never let me forget the point. But he wanted me to under- stand golf (like life) is something that NEVER gets perfected. The moment you think you have golf/life whipped, the game/life slaps you down and humbles you. Be secure and confident in yourself, stay grateful, and when you least expect it, you’ll shoot farther and straighter then you ever have.


Laugh…..A LOT.

Golf really is hilarious. It is guaranteed that you will feel something when you play golf. Follow me here: Logically, the majority of your emotions (which golf WILL produce) are processed by the hypothalamus, the region in your brain that handles a range of functions from breathing and to hunger and emotional response. After hitting that not so perfect shot, you can either cry or laugh, right? Try to find the humor in your situation. In golf, if you can laugh the shot off you will immediately release the tension and start to feel better.

The Golfer Wears Prada

Something has to change. Yes, it’s a new year, and a chance to do ONE thing differently. However, if you Google “Golf New Year’s Resolutions,” you will uncover over 100 million results! Sheesh! Suffice to say, you may be expecting to read an article about what you should do to tweak your swing, putt, or grip. Well, I hate to burst your golf bubble, but it’s no secret that you’re basically not going to significantly change the WAY you play the game of golf, but maybe there is one thing you can change; how you look doing it!


Stop “caring”. Stop “trying”. Just play. The irony is you’ll actually play better anyway. Life isn’t an emergency. Smile. It takes far fewer muscles to smile than to frown.


That’s right. Look at what you have on–are you wearing the same comfort- able old pair of baggy khakis and your ultra-cool yellow waffle shirt? Please! Do us all a favor and get something more edgy. Did you know that what you wear has a direct influence – not just on how others perceive you – but on how you see yourself? In a study, it was determined that university students outperformed their shabby competitors by a long shot. I’m a great believer in the saying, “look the part, play the part”.

Many men may think they are being a bit effeminate if they spend even the tiniest amount of brain energy on what they wear. They want comfort, of course! But, how many women do you know who put on makeup and wear stilettos because they are “so comfortable?” Women know that what they wear has a direct influ- ence on their confidence in the game of life, and moreover helps them to perform at their true potential.

Now think about it….if you feel good and sophisticated when you are playing, don’t you think you’d logically perform better? Start dressing the part and you may start playing the part! Walking through miles and miles of green and knowing that it’s all up to you whether you will win or lose your game is stressful. It takes a lot of guts to hold that pressure and be victori- ous. To gain these “guts” you need to be confident! Maybe looking down at your clothing and getting a bit of fashion “guts” is a fine place to start. As you master the art of dressing appropri- ately, you’ll continue to experiment in what you wear. Given that there is an “assumed code” on what you may wear on the green, you will learn how to be able to beef up your wardrobe with- out being disrespectful to the game.

Haven’t you noticed how Tiger Woods established red as his color? Other players settle for a sensible pair of Stromberg Golf Quinta Funky Prince of Wales Check Trousers. Some choose to play in snazzy white and bright orange Puma golf shoes while others settle for subtle hints of interesting prints. Why don’t you check out some of the available clothing lines? ). Have no fear men–you can do all this viewing in the privacy of your own computer. Take a look at Sligo Wear ( or the op- tions from Bunker Mentality (www. There is always the wacky Loudmouth Golf ( or even Tattoo Golf (


Golf advice is a dime a dozen! You’ll find countless websites with advice and tips to tackle this year. Peter Jacobsen said it best: “One of the most fascinating things about golf is how it reflects the cycle of life. No matter what you shoot – the next day you have to go back to the first tee and begin all over again and make yourself into some- thing.” SO maybe this year start with looking groovy on the outside, and perhaps your look will give you that confidence to stay strong when you’re ready to throw your five iron into the lake.