Category: Totally Tatum

Seventy degrees in February?
We’ll take it.

The prior day, Tatum had a half day, and it was time for us to get a trim. Oh, boy, did she look gorgeous. Her hair has grown so much.

Brandy is our magician.

Anyway, back to Saturday. It was one of those perfect Saturdays (except for a bit of grogginess for me, but hey…we made it work)

I had a little surprise waiting for my two Valentines: Taties and Doug

Some heart candies just because. Nothing fancy. Just festive and sweet.

Doug had already been up to his own sweetness. I walked into the kitchen to find a card sitting on the counter and my favorite flowers… sunflowers.

He knows what makes me feel special.

Later that day, Tot and I hung out and watched our fav show at the moment: Downton Abbey reruns. Rio enjoyed some water with us.

And then… the nail salon opened.

Tatum requested a supreme manicure … full gel treatment, the whole thing. I went all in. Base coat, color, top coat, cure under the light. She paid me in pretend money (which, honestly, felt about right), and somewhere between coats we found ourselves talking about… boyfriends. HEEHEE.

She ran around the house (she hasn’t changed since she was 2) pretending like she was on the phone with her friend chatting up a storm holding Dino.

Dinner? A delish lasagna (if I do say so myself). The kind of meal that says, “Stay. Sit. Be here.”

And a little marshmallow treat to top it off.

That night, Doug spoiled us both with some thoughtful little gifts, and we gave Tatum some fun goodies too. Nothing over-the-top. Just love wrapped in small surprises.

Hubby sporting the Wifey socks, and Tatum knows how much I love her too!

It was mellow. Easy. No rushing. No production.

Just us. Together.

To end the night, per usual, Coopy and Tatum whooped it up… laughing, that little white fluff ball.

He thinks he’s so tough or tuff?

It was the perfect day.

I love my family.

And that’s really the whole story. 

Yes, someone tell Honeywell. My husband spend a few minutes at work today querying AI. Not about the latest project numbers. Not about the system failure questions. Not about the case study. NO!!

Now, one might wonder, what prompted him to do this?

Ha!! Now, this pic was taken right after my hair being styled. Chat must have known this. Also, Doug must have prompted it with some clues…hmmmmm. THEN..

Striking. Hm. I guess I’ll take it. My hubby sure knows how to make a girl feel good.

Super Bowl Sunday started quietly in our house. 
Tatum and my honey headed off to church, and I was unfortunately under the weather. So  my mission was to snap photos to send to Tot.

Happiness.

When she came home, in her hands: a football. Apparently, she and Dad had made a pit stop, and just like that…the game was starting. She was ready. Or almost ready.

Then I got the question: Do you have a white T-shirt I can have? Now… we have a serious shortage of white shirts in this house. After unsuccessfully finding this out, she found a long-sleeved shirt of her own and went to work. Scissors. Markers. (Sharpies are not forgiving). She’s going to make a jersey come he_l or high water!

She was ALL Seahawks (though she did accidentally call them the Seagulls, which I will never let her forget). Seahawks vs. Patriots. She is ready.

But here’s the thing about Tatum: waiting is never just waiting.

As kickoff approached, the gears in her brain started turning.
“What else can I MAKE?”

Next thing I know, she’s asking, do we have any cans!? Ok, now what. OH, and a GLUE GUN?
I didn’t ask questions.

She pulled together 8 cans and VOILA! Yes, folks. It’s a gun.

Where is my girl? Football? A gun? What is next? Naturally, it had to be displayed…right on her wall. Alongside an impressive collection of Pokémon cards and mini cars. Honestly, her creative brain never stops. Ever. It’s like living with a tiny inventor/artist/engineer who occasionally watches football.

And while the game played, she casually worked on a drawing of a Digital Circus character. Multitasking at its finest.

With a little eye art, the day turned lively in the best way.

Two shockers sealed the deal: The Seahawks absolutely killed it with four field goals………

And …….

Kid Rock shared the Gospel at halftime.

Mic. Drop.

Super Bowl Sunday wasn’t loud or wild or crowded, but it was creative and very TATUM. I would not trade it for any party in the world.

Ollie. Just so calm. Cool. Collected. He’s that in our home

Rio? He’s our lightning rod. He’s ADHD x 50. Never stops. Constantly moving and playing. He is not one to ride on your shoulder because he gets too bored. He’ll bite you or he’ll just fly down and chase Cooper.

Or he’ll fly on your head.

But if Bluebell enters the picture, he becomes smitten.

Oh the love….We love them, and makes us all so grateful.

Yesterday marked Tatum’s FINAL cross country meet, and not just any meet, but a statewide race with runners from all over. Just qualifying to be there was an honor in itself. There se us up front bending down ready to GO!

She went into the race feeling a bit under the weather, but she showed up anyway.

No excuses. No backing out. She laced up, took her place at the starting line, and powered through with grit and determination. That alone says everything about her character.

This was Tatum’s very first year on a running team, and to make it all the way to a state-level meet is nothing short of amazing. Watching her grow, challenge herself, and push through discomfort has been one of the greatest joys as a mom.

So incredibly proud of her heart, her perseverance, and her courage. This season wasn’t just about miles or times…it was about showing up, learning something new, and believing in herself. And she did all of that beautifully.

For SPRING sports, instead of track, she’s going for Basketball. Dad was so kind to get our hoop up and running again, so she has been at it non stop. Stay tuned for more SPORTS updates!

We just hangin’. My sweet little buddy.

The staredown.

I lost.

Somewhere around thirteen, motherhood kind of changes. It seems like it has been coming slowly, and now suddenly, the way I need to show up for Tatum looks nothing like the way I did before.

Her emotions are sky-high now…whether they’re joyful or devastating. Everything feels bigger and heavier. She feels things about ten times more intensely than I remember feeling them… BUT I do remember how HARD it was to be thirteen. But these are different times.

What I’m learning is this: when she’s hurting, the pain often comes out sideways…..sometimes toward me, and sometimes toward her dad.

In that moment, it can hurt, and it can make me want to correct, lecture, or discipline; especially when her behavior looks “less than desirable.”

But here’s the thing I’m slowly learning (and failing at, and trying again): I need to listen. NOT FIX.

Every single night, Tatum and I talk. And eventually (ALWAYS) it all comes out.
The stories from her day honestly shock me. I forget how mean kids can be, and how subtle the cruelty, and the social dynamics can feel crazy. She’s just beginning to experience this world, and it’s heartbreaking to watch her have to go through it (but it’s necessary!)

My role now isn’t to gasp in horror. (HA!! It’s want I sometimes do!) OR to say, “Well, if it were me…” OR even to jump in with wisdom I think will protect her. NOPE. I have learned that I CANNOT act shocked or give unsolicited advice or especially share what I would do.

Instead, I have to sit in the discomfort and say things like:

“How did that make you feel?” OR

“Wow… that must have been really hard.” OR

“What do you think you’ll do?

I just LISTEN…if she wants my advice, she will ask for it.
Most of the time, she just needs to get the words out and be heard. To know she’s safe sharing w/o judgment.

Just yesterday, she went through a really painful situation with a boy at school. My heart broke for her. And the truth is, the way she handled it was thoughtful and mature. But before I knew the full story, her behavior at home triggered me, and my instinct was to punish first and understand later. BUT that would have been wrong. She asked me about 100 times for A HUG. She squeezed me so hard, and with that I KNEW her deepest wish.

JUST LOVE ME and BE HERE. PRESENT.

I’m realizing that parenting a teen is less about control and more about guidance.
Less about teaching lessons and more about modeling kindness, grace, and boldness; even when emotions are high and everyone is imperfect.

We’re both works in progress.
YET somehow, we are growing TOGETHER.

I love you, Tot. SO MUCH.