Getting uncomfortable by leaving home for a couple of days affords the ability to reflect and remind.
I have been preceding Tatum’s wake-up, however, this morning she beat me. I was surprised that she came into my room when it was still dark to draw me a picture. A love picture to put at the top of my suitcase. Hearts and rainbows.
I melted. I will miss this sweet girl even if it is only for two days.
After saying my goodbyes to Mama, Coti, and Tot, I headed for the airport in plenty of time not to rush.
When I arrived, all was fine with security, and I then sought to find a Starbucks. My sweetie got me this card last night so I wouldn’t be sans coffee in the AM!
(this picture doubles as an ID of where I parked since I don’t tend to clutter my brain space with these details. Better to just log it and go).
Fast forward to boarding the plane and finding my seat. I’m at the back with a few army vets who were all very kind and helpful. The announcement came on that there’d be no wi-fi or ability to watch a movie, so, I knew I’d have to do some work. I did bring a book but my eyes were so drowsy, I didn’t have it in me. So, I pulled out my computer and browsed pictures. I went far back….far back to about 2003.
It was interesting to look at pictures of who I was pre-Tatum. My life was dominated by my love of my job. I came upon this picture with some of my students.
And often they’d write on the board…
Sadly, I cannot remember their names, but I know at the time, they were my everything. So many of my pictures were of my kids!
I’ll never forget Marko… He drove me mad; he stole from me, lied to me…. BUT, he eventually, with lots of grace and patience, came around and shined. (this was his graduation from 8th grade)
I really loved that part of my life as hard as it was.
Another theme dominated my life and that was this little white fluff ball.
Oh, what sweet little buddy he has been.
Then, November 22, 2012, my life took a complete turn.
This girl….this amazing little doll, changed my life. Changed me! Changed my outlook on life; My relationship with God; My ability to love and have compassion on others in a whole new way. She was/is my light.
There she is at just two!
She still lights up all around her at five!
And she brightens me…
You see, before Tatum, I did have a heart for others, especially youths. But, what Tatum gave me was empathy to understand. She gave me an understanding of how God feels about me (since that is how I feel about Tatum). If God loves me that much (so much that it hurts), then ALL people He must love like this. Ought not I do the same? Paradigm shift.
So, I am reminded of this and I then reflect on the blessings of my today.
I take out a card I received from my love, Douglas Hay, last night.
The love I receive! I have not been very good on the receiving, but I think this little girl has helped me truly appreciate the love I get back. He is such a gift. (Some of the pictures I perused in that 3-hour flight were of past flames. Nothing compares even in the slightest to Doug).
Time flew by pretty fast on this flight. I Uber’d to my hotel by a kind Army Vet named Kevin. I then put on my warm socks.
Warmed up my hands (Glad I brought these because a walk outside numbed my little fingers)
And now I can relax and say THANK YOU GOD for my blessings.
I love you Tot, Doug, Mama, and Coti.
