Be Nobody’s Darling

6/16/2010

Be Nobody’s Darling

Be nobody’s darling

Be proud of who you are

The empty spaces in the heart

Vacuous and wide

Only filled by a love divine

Ignorant of need

I is fine

Self connected upward and high

Not side by side which fails everytime

Alone not lonely

In a world of lonely

People places crowds faces

Unwanted and needed

That one who gets us

Who understands the silence

the unspoken tongue

it’s a wonder one is alone

What who when why

It’s not to question or to belie

Be nobody’s darling

Unless it is true

Up above is the only one who can choose

Reflection on my 2010-2011 school year: New School

I love this quote by Theodore Roosevelt because it reminds me of my classroom. Parents have entrusted me with their children. May I always remember each one is SPECIAL.

If you poll the typical “teacher on the street,” this is what would he or she would say about why he/she entered education:

“I want to make a difference in children.”

“I want to ignite the spark of curiosity in children and help them discover their potential.”

“I want to share my passion for the love of learning.”

Obvious as these statements sound, most public school teachers would scoff at such statements after a year of “duty.” In fact, I used to be ridiculed for my idealist attitude when I entered the world of education eight years ago after many years in the corporate world. Sadly, I soon discovered that if I was going to make it in the system, I had to succumb to the checklist of standards which were to be tested biweekly to prepare for the Super Bowl of tests. School became a football season with the culminating AIMS event in April. Unfortunately the administration’s hands were tied because they answered to the state, and the government paid the bills.  Yes, it was the scores which kept the state happy; not whether children were learning, growing, or becoming responsible, kind, resourceful citizens. The system has sacrificed our artistic, unique, creative youths simultaneously zapping our passionate, innovative and learned teachers. We’ve morphed into a test-taking, dumbed-down culture, virtually ignoring the right brain of the child, and disregarding anything below the neck.

Enter Tesseract. I’ll never forget the first day I walked into this “fourth” dimension-Definitely a square (cubed) peg not WANTING to fit into the round hole of normal schooling. The posted mission statement was not just talk…it was the WALK!

1.     Fostering EACH student’s intellect, love of learning, and strength of character? What? I can form a RELATIONSHIP  with a child one at a time, finding something special about him/her, and foster it!? Unheard of in a class size of 40 students x 5 classes.

2.      An innovative and collaborative environment? What? I work closely with the educators during the day, and the  professional development is all about enhancing our connectedness in and out of the classroom? The WHOLE child is taught, and I am a COG in the wheel of learning vs a separate compartment. The students make connections with the curriculum so it makes SENSE to them.

3.     Prepare students to be REAL people; To lead a life of purpose and with character and to see the world as a whole? What? I can encourage, equip, and inspire children to TRULY make a difference in their world, as I make a difference in their lives? Who has time to invest this energy or time into the children in public school when the teachers are frantically trying to practice test and increase their scores? The pressure adds up, so this doesn’t happen in the public schools.

Proudly and with honor, now I can truly say, I’m walking the talk of what education should be about and my “idealism” is realized.

He approved!

Dr. Wiley approved of my revisions. He officially is signing off on my dissertation. Now, I think…Chapter closed. But is it? The thought of what is next frightens me a bit. However, I am remember whose approval matters: Christ’s. But the good news is that I have it.

 

It hasn’t hit home until recently. All of this work and strife, is it all worth it? It “feels” good to be accomplished because I know I have what it takes to be a disciplined person. But the vehicle I use to be disciplined has been my work and school (or my body). Has my spiritual life experienced this same muscle building? It’s a matter of asking for HIM everyday. I long for his answers but the questions still seem fuzzy. What is next?

 

There is a song by Mercy Me which I cannot get enough:

 

Here with me:

 

I long for your embrace

Every single day

To meet you in this place

And see you face to face

 

Will you show me?

Reveal yourself to me

Because of your mercy

I fall down on my knees

 

And I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender to your love

 

You’re everywhere I go

I am not alone

You call me as your own

To know you and be known

 

You are holy

And I fall down on my knees

 

I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender to your love

 

I surrender to your grace

I surrender to the one who took my place

 

I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender:

 

I can feel your presence here with me

Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty

Caught up in the wonder of your touch

Here in this moment I surrender to your love

 

Defending my Doctorate….I finished!

I made it!!

I defended on April 2nd and passed.

Graduation is May 12th, 2010. WOW, it’s finally here.

Here is my topic: Because Writing Counts! Discovering the Perceptions of Middle School Content Teachers About Writing in Their Classrooms

ABSTRACT

The purpose of this qualitative interview study was to examine the factors of teachers’ perceptions and choices about writing across all disciplines in an urban, highly ELL populated middle school more closely. Four teachers were studied in depth, and data collected included in-depth interviews. Findings indicated three main assertions related to the research questions which sought to understand if teachers see a link to writing and learning, how teachers perceive and utilize writing in their content area classroom, as well as what factors influenced their implementation practices. These assertions are that: (a) Writing is both process and product providing proper evidence to be a mode of learning. They claim that it is helpful for processing, clarifying, reflecting, and also can solidify what has been learned. In some cases, it also provides a record or product of what has been learned providing confidence in the learner, which is significant for the ELL student. The research has unquestionably proven that the cognitive operations that students utilize during the writing process have helped illuminate the real power of writing;  (b) Teachers usage of writing (for literacy for ELL and English fluent students) depends on the goal or purpose, the timing, and the audience; This included writing to learn strategies that draw on past knowledge, prepare for new learning, review and/or fuse relevant knowledge, and to then extend knowledge; (c) Teachers are influenced by both internal and external factors which affects their implementation efforts. I found that staff development classes had the biggest influence on these teachers, but there were many areas of writing in content areas, especially the junior high areas of math and science, in which teachers could use more writing to learn strategies, and how to couple their already practicing cooperative learning strategies with writing through a staff development class or modeling. This study is in preparation for designing an intervention for staff development on teaching writing to learn strategies in any middle school; especially one with a high ELL population.

 

My Future

There are three kinds of people in this world. The first person makes things happen. The second stands by and watches things as they happen, while the third person wonders what did happen! I am in the first category. My life has been a huge picture of achievement and drive. I have pursued many goals and achieve most everything I set my mind to do. I have now, however, reached a huge apex in my life. I have just begun a new career with new hopes and dreams.

With this said, I have not given up on the other dreams I have for my life. For instance, I have been pursuing a Masters in Divinity for years now. I am still in the process of doing so and I foresee completing this goal in a couple of years. With this, I plan on starting a large ministry at my church for women. The specifics have not been set, but will be more clear as time proceeds.

I also have dreams of continuing in the educational setting. This may mean staying in the classroom and teaching, but I predict I will move on to a leadership role, be it in administration or my own business. In the meantime, I plan to inspire and encourage young minds as I am so passionate about children in this crucial age group of 11-14.

My dreams and hopes for a family have not subsided. I do plan to get married and have at least one child. I would like to be a mother and nurture and love a family of my own. This means a dog, a house, and all the trimmings! I also would love to have a vacation home in the mountains up North. This would give our family the much needed rest and recovery we need.

As for my hopes….I hope to make a difference in peoples’ lives. This means my friends, my students and my family. I hope to lead people to live a better life with more hopes and dreams of their own. This means I must be a good example and live in the light. I hope to be that person as I grow. I look forward to the future and what is in store for me.