Every day I come across people who have it all. Ok, they appear to, but then as I talk to them, I find out that they too have deficits. These so called deficits are self-imposed. Dennis Prager talks about this as “The Missing Tile” syndrome. Whatever it is at the moment that we don’t have, we tend to find EVERYONE else has it. Example: let’s say that you are in need of a car. You have a fine car actually and it runs perfectly, but you want a new one. All of sudden, you notice all the new cars on the road and your focus is on your lack thereof. Dennis talks about an example of a bald man who seems to notice everyone’s hair. No one with hair even thinks about their plethora of follicles, but the bald man laser beam focuses on his lack of them.
How easy it has been lately for me to be one of these people with MTS (missing tile syndrome). Tatum goes to houses with many children (they have brothers and sisters) and lots of cool toys. These houses also have a mommy and a daddy present. These houses also their houses…Etc..I could go on, but that just fuels the fire, and what kind of example am I setting for Tatum!? Plus, how miserable to be stuck in the MTS abyss.
The other day, I was over at a dear friend’s house. She and her husband had just purchased this home and had created such a warm, classy environment. It took everything in me to not let the green bug bite me. Then I realized…WAIT! If I did not have Tatum, I could have this. They want a Tatum of their own and wish for that. See? We both want something so dear, yet fall into not seeing what we have right in front of us. Tatum? She is content holding her babies; her TWO babies actually. Did you catch that? She is content holding something dear to her and appreciating it. It does not mean she does not yearn for more. I’m sure she would love to have a full baba at all times and a constant supply of animal crackers.
Sometimes, we don’t hold the people in our lives dear; we think that happiness is on the other side of (_____ fill in the blank). Oddly enough, when I speak with other women, they suffer from their own form of MTS. Whatever it is…lack of career at the moment, lack of alone time, husband issues, health, step children issues… We ARE MISSING THE MEANING OF OUR LIVES as we wallow in the ” I don’t have this my way right now” problem.
The meaning of our lives comes from how much we love…how much are we loving those around us. How grateful are we for what we do have?
I will choose not to focus on that ONE missing tile in the ceiling and focus on the beautiful mosaic of present tiles.