Frustration. It produces all kinds of reactions. For example, Tatum has been trying to master her math facts so she can get 100% on a 6 minute assessment. She can do the sheet in 7.5 minutes, practicing and then with the actual test, it’s more like 10 minutes.
She runs into her room crying and telling me she’s “stupid.” UGH. Then, there’s some impulsive reactions with words she doesn’t mean, but they come out. All completely unavoidable with a some self-control and some grace for herself. She is so hard on herself (sounds familiar).
Sometimes, also, I have an opinion of how she should be doing something, and she doesn’t quite agree. This reaction can come out in an ugly way as well.
BUT WITH ALL OF THIS > one thing my daughter possesses is a strong repentant heart. She immediately has immense guilt, and makes things right. It’s a stellar quality how she wants to fix things right away. She doesn’t let things fester or get worse. This could also be that I don’t respond in kind.
First, I don’t allow her to say things about herself that are lies from the PIT. I make her repeat these words: “I am a CHILD of GOD; I am wonderfully made.” Maybe she makes a stupid choice but I will not allow her to say this about herself. Also, I don’t yell back or be angry with her (Oh, sure, I have slipped, but I don’t respond back this way for the most part). SO, it doesn’t escalate.
She loves to make a little note and put it on the counter before we talk.
This is an endearing quality of Tatum. As I always say, “How you respond is more important that the circumstance itself.” Let’s try to STOP, THINK, and PRAY more often to minimize regret.
I love you Tatum.