My heart is filled with so many emotions. We tend to think some emotions are not healthy like sadness, depression, or guilt. However, they really are all just that: emotions. It’s what we do with that emotion that makes it healthy or not.
This summer has been filled with this emotion: Sadness and guilt. Sadness because my body is just not where I want it to be; it’s truly in a suffering state about 23 hours out of 24. D.A.I.L.Y. With that, guilt comes because I cannot be that active, serving, vital, totally present mom/wife/daughter that I want to be…or that I feel I NEED to be. I struggle with God’s purpose in all of this and seek answers which is truly emotionally just EXHAUSTING.
But, through it all, I have this man and this girl. Doug and Tatum. They are the ones who are steadfast. Doug, D.A.I.L.Y, encourages me and tells me how madly in love with me he is. (?!?)
And Tot…dear sweet Tot, tells me every minute that she just wants to be with me. NO MATTER WHAT.
So, I take it ONE day at a time, and I’m learning to release my burdens and my complete and utter frustrations to HIM> It’s so hard, and I just don’t know what He’s teaching me, but I do trust that He has a plan. Meanwhile, my family becomes tighter and tighter.
AND…Tatum tells me daily:
MOMMY, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t want to be a Special Needs mom, help in Foster Care or write this story.
She is writing a story for Focus on the Family (Average Boy)
Stay tuned for the FINAL. It’s called Broken leads to Bonding.
My family. My God. MY ROCKS.