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Week THREE: Squeeze Plant Squeeze

Crutches. The definition of a crutch is a prop or a support. Now, if I were standing still, this would be completely appropriate. However, crutches do not seem to be designed for movement or what we bi-peds call walking . The suction cups at the bottom of each stick seem to be as only as effective as the strength in which his/her stick is firmly planted into the ground. If I were to press the suction cup diligently on the sidewalk or pavement, it would be likened to me to attempt to glue my foot to the ground with each step. This means each attempt to move forward would take me…………(I’m counting….) A LONG TIME! So, if you are following my logic, each step REQUIRES me to have my crutch stick to the ground OR guess what? It’s NOT stable.

The next issue of stability stems from the ability to press the crutch pad into one’s side so as to erase any option of the top of the crutch to slide, hence becoming UNstable.

Now, one can see that each and every step requires much work. I feel like I’m swinging a golf club each time I take a step. Each little movement requires much deliberation. The process goes: Right, left, crutch pad squeeze; right crutch forward, suction cup plant; left crutch forward, suction cup plant, squeeze squeeze right, left, crutch pad squeeze, right crutch suction cup plant; left crutch suction cup plant; Repeat. And so it goes. And so it goes. To soften the “squeeze” part, I have wound some lovely pink and white thermal socks (to match my pink cast of course!) around the crutch pad for extra padding. Has it helped? Eh.

 

The bright side? The coffee solution.

Dilemma: How will I carry my coffee? The rest of my supplies fit nicely into my backpack. Even my water bottle. But my delicious hot cinnamon flavored coffee? This warm concoction cannot fit nicely into my backpack! Solution: My Starbucks coffee thermos mug ! Brilliant! It screws tight AND has a neat little plug for the drinking hole…Solved. It’s a beautiful thing.

For every cloud there IS a silver lining, even if under my arms are fiery red and singing, “oohch!” with every little step.

 

 

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My God; My Sherpa

This week, I realized how much I need a Sherpa (and thank God I have one!) What is a Sherpa? According to Wikipedia (if I may use such a source!)

“Sherpas are highly regarded as elite mountaineers and experts in their local terrain. They were immeasurably valuable to early explorers of the Himalayan region, serving as guides at the extreme altitudes of the peaks and passes in the region, particularly for expeditions to climb Mt. Everest…They are known for their hardiness, expertise, and experience at high altitudes.” 

I headed back to work (just to help out the sub and work with the kids on some projects) this week with much excitement and yet trepidation. The iffy part had to do with two things: Leaving Tatum and having so very little mobility. The excitement of being around my kids and working with my colleagues made it all worth it. However, I did not have enough internal fortitude to keep it ALL together ALL of the time. Who does? Well, this is when I needed to have God as my Sherpa (ALL THE TIME). 

My “terrain” becomes His terrain when I invite Him into my day. The minute my feet hit the floor, I invite HIM into my walk (no pun intended). “His grace is sufficient for me.” (2 Cor 12:9)  I am going to make mistakes and fall flat on my face (literally!), but with Him guiding my every step (actually allowing him to do so), I can handle it. Peaks, valleys, passes, heights, depths…His love for me and the gratitude I CHOOSE to see in my life, makes each step doable. He has the expertise. He has the experience (through Christ). I depend on Him (my Sherpa). And gosh…I am so dependent, I admit fully. Until I relinquished full control and submitted to His will, I am doomed to my mistakes; my scars, my scabs. I still may get them (they are inevitable), but each one gives me a chance to fall forward into His arms, learning and growing each time.

So, it was a HARD week, but I know I grew and so did Tatum. “She has the sweetest temperament, the cutest laugh, and seems extremely comfortable.” Hearing these words made my heart sing. Also, having her light up when she sees me, brings joy to my world.

May she embrace the newness of her schedule. May I adapt to entering work (eventually!) with less mobility simultaneously being effective and yet positive. May I STOP and enjoy the moment; each and every moment.

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The sea of faces

Today, I worked at my school, even though I’m not supposed to be there quite yet. Being on one foot definitely is so much more difficult when trying to work. It is amazing how little I can actually do, so it is good I am not full time quite yet. This is going to be harder than I thought, but I have to have grace with myself.

The kids loved my bright pink cast!

There are so many projects for which I must handle that I need to be there for a bit. This means taking Tatum to daycare, and this is when I truly struggle. On one hand, it’s so nice to have that time where you can just focus and not worry that her needs are not being met. Then the other side of me, the pride side, says, she is going to forget me. Hogwash right?

At least when I was crutching around campus, the 8th grade students were headed out to a field trip. All were seated in the courtyard, and they all noticed me at once. The sea of faces was right in front of me, and I teared up. I really have missed being there. I have missed learning with them and teaching them. So, the argument in my  head begins. Do I have guilt over not giving enough time to my daughter, or do I fret over not being a present educator? ….at least now. This seems to be the battle for which many face.

These next few weeks, I must make the most of my time while I am at school, and then at home, I capture every second with Tater (and Coti!). The Lord is my strength. He is in charge. I do the best I can do and leave the results to Him. He knows my heart, and I pray Tater will too.

At least she seems to be enjoying her time at daycare.

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Looking in the mirror

Actually, she is looking right at the most amazing gift one could ever hope.

Tatum Isabella Knight…Her name brings joy to my heart. My little girl.
Today, I had the incredible blessing of meeting with the paralegal to go over all the necessary paperwork for my hearing for Tatum. Soon, it will be final. May she know how much of a gift she is, and how much love..how much SHE is LOVED!

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Cast-ta-day!

Apparently, I’m in this cast for two weeks, but since Dr. Waz needs to go on vacation, (Whatever!!) I have to sport this pink boot for THREE! Then, DAS BOOT for ___ week? Not sure yet.

Tomorrow, I will attempt to work part time and enjoy the kids!

 

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TWO weeks down (and counting)

I think my dog misses me; I’m absolutely ZERO fun for him at this point.

The good news is that I am two weeks into this journey, AND I get my cast on Monday (3 days away). Bad news? Today was really hard. I wanted to have a “girl’s day” with my mom and go to lunch and Pottery Barn. The distance from my car to the front door was zero effort for a two-footed  individual. For a gal on crutches? Man, it was miles. After Pottery Barn, we needed to head back to the car to repark for Cheesecake Factory. Ugh…repark. The amount of people at Kierland trumps the amount of spaces for cars. Don’t these people know that I can’t walk? By the time we reached the restaurant, my underarms were on fire. Forgive me, but why do they call it a “crutch pad?” Crutch pad…my foot! Forget new outfits, I need underarm cushions. Finally, we reached our destination, and I’m ready to eat!

News? What I have noticed is that my splint is loosening (perhaps due to swelling decreasing). When this happens, the splint moves about and rubs against my stitches. Since I cannot see inside my bandages, I just have to wonder what is occurring on the incision. It is not only bothersome, but painful. I’m definitely ready to go back home to my comfort zone. I am NOT ready for prime time quite yet.

Monday…come soon! I hear the cast is much more friendly.