Hay Happens and Hay's Happen

Today, I decided to pre-empt the nap time with a little pep talk. Yesterday, not wanting to go down for her nap, she rebelled by tossing the books over the side of the bed. So, today, I figured I would ask her about putting books in her bed.

“Tatum, in a couple of minutes, we are going to rest in our beds, and I wonder if you will take care of the books we choose? Would you like to take a couple of books to bed this time and look at them?” I was convinced that she was ready to try again (I figure she needs practice and I want to show her that I can trust her and give her grace).

A few minutes before “that time,” I ran downstairs. When I returned, I was not sure if I should laugh (it was hilarious and adorable) or scold her?? Just not sure.

She took each book one by one and put them into her bed. Each time she said, “back” like she was putting them back. The last one off the shelf was “Puppy” (The Poky Little Puppy). Now of course I had to get my camera.

As I put the books BACK on the shelf (!), she took my phone and was very adept at taking Tatum pictures.

This girl will try anything to not sleep. L..E..N..G..T..H..E..N.. the time with creative little ploys!

Finally, she picked three books, and so far, they are still in her bed (and guess what?) she’s sleeping soundly. Hooray!

 

 

Tatum and me…we make the best of situations. That’s what we do together.

Saturday, we were to start a new Twosy Doodler class with the City of Scottsdale. Upon panicking due to arriving 5 minutes late (road closures on a Saturday…seriously!?), we walked in to the class only to find blank stares of impatient moms wondering where was the instructor? Apparently they did not bring activities to keep their LO occupied while waiting. (well, they used their electronic devices, sadly). Tatum and I observed the room and pointed out colors, shapes, and happy faces. We kept occupied sans technology. She (The instructor) did not show…ever. So, what now? Since we were at the community center at the park, why not take advantage of the amenities.

Watching the other tiny ones swing, Tatum was open to trying this swinging thing. Monkeys do it, so why not Tot?

After about a few “wee’s” she said, “no more wee.” She meant it! No more wee. Not a favorite ride of little Tot.

So, mommy, stupidly decided to carry Tatum up the big kid ladder and try the big kid slide TOGETHER.

Crazy mommy and Tatum went “wee” this way!

She liked that and wanted “mo!” No mo for crazy mommy because dang..she’s heavy and…well, dropping Tot would be a very bad thing. So, we found a way for her to climb up without the ladder. Steps. Brilliant! There she goes……!

Good ol’ Tatum wants to go against the grain and come up the downside. I love that she loves a challenge!

 

After the park, and making the best of our no-show instructor, we head to my dear friend Denise’s house for some girlie time in the pool. Tatum decided to make some calls.

Tatum’s phone calls up everyone! Doggies, mamas….She chats with all of her friends on this phone. Hello, hello!?

What a great day. She had the best attitude, and she just made me smile…even if she did not want to take a nap.

As I pondered the day, rocking Tatum before her bedtime, I just prayed that she would savor the life she has been given. I also prayed she goes up the downside with a “can do!” positive attitude; that she overcomes her adversities with gusto and develops character and grace. In Jesus name 🙂

 

Today, I heard a crash in Tatum’s room right after I put her down for a nap. Then I heard five more. I knew she did not want to go down, but this was not expected. Every day, I put in books in her crib so she can read and chill a bit as she falls asleep. (This is only in the daytime) Today, I put in her three Jesus books and two others. What do you suppose was the crashing noise?

Yes….all the books came tumbling down the back side of her bed.

I rushed in with a very sad look on my face. Then I said, “Oh my gosh! Jesus! You dropped Jesus!! Tatum? That is so sad!” Then I proceeded to pick them up and place them on the dresser as I caressed and kissed the five books. She had a look of sorrow as well…deep sorrow. Then I walked out. She screamed for her books! I let her calm down, and then I proceeded to walk back in. I merely said, “What do you say?” She then apologized and heaved from her crying. I said, “Maybe we need to try this again, what do you think? Do you want to read or not?” She said she did, and I let her have them back. The rest of the “nap” was her singing and talking to her books as usual.

Now, what I am learning is that she is comprehending happy vs. sad. We see these emotions in the books we read, and now when we see someone crying or mad…or when I am upset with her, I say I am sad. (or she asks me happy? sad?) She knows this means things are not going well. Tatum seems to be developing a beautiful piece of empathy. To be able to feel bad with me even when she has done wrong is something I don’t think I could have seen her do if I was gone all the time. How could I cultivate it? It comes from a relationship that we are building together.

Mommy becomes very sad if Tatum doesn’t mind her, and Tatum does not like a sad mommy.

 

I find “good girl!” slipping out of my mouth constantly when I see something that Tatum does well. I’m trying to be more cognizant of my word choice as I praise or correct her.

For example, today, she was putting the books away so neatly, and I said, “Good back!” (she says “back” for “put back”) However, today I also found myself praising her for being so quiet and respectful at the restaurant today as she ate her lunch. I reached over and said, “you are being such a good girl.” Immediately, I had to follow it by saying, You are eating your food so politely.”

Why is this so important; this distinction?

It matters because soon she will equate doing a good job on something with who she is…bad or good. She messes up? She will automatically assume she is a BAD person. Never is this the case. Love and acceptance based on behavior sets a condition to my love. Kevin Leman, noted psychologist says, “Our ultimate example is God himself, who loves us unconditionally with an unqualified love. We can always come to him, even when we have botched it. Perhaps the greater truth is that we can come to him especially when we have botched it.”  She may do a bad thing, but my love for her never wanes, and she knows that the statement, “Mom will love Tatum when (or if)  she puts up her toys” could NEVER be true. Statements like that send a strong message to children that their behavior and their personhood are equal. TERRIBLE.

He looked at you Tatum after he created you and said, “[It] is GOOD!”