Hay Happens and Hay's Happen

It’s a bit scary when you start seeing your child do things you do. You PRAY that the things they copy are positive.

Tatum loves to clean things. Floors, balls, books, chairs. You name it, she is in the kitchen with a paper towel and some type of bottle with liquid in it for wetting the area to wipe.

Today, however, she decided she needed to clean Coti. She had watched mommy clean his paws the other day, so poor Coti was subject to Tatum’s towel magic.

His choice? To just roll onto his back and be subject to Tatumness. Such a good sport. HE HATES when I do it.

Now, this is not the only thing Tatum copies from mommy.
When I was a little girl, I used to hide under my mother’s desk. This became not only a hiding spot, but also a bit of a safe zone when needing a place to just be. You know..like a “make the world go away..” spot. Well, today, it was time for Tot’s nap, and I could not find her. Crazy..she usually just is waiting by her bed dying to get in and get to sleep (HAHA!!).

Well, I heard a teeny tiny laugh come from my mother’s office. Somehow, someway, she channeled mommy’s inner child because there she was…under MY MOTHER’S DESK. (the same one I used to hide under!!) Purely bizarre.

 

I peaked under to look and I could not find her (!?) (Did you know children disappear when they have their hands over their eyes?) Then all of a sudden:

TATUM!

Wow. Lesson: Your child may become you. Make sure you are happy with what you do! 🙂

 

She repeats this now when we eat. She looks squarely at me with a full mouth and says, “Mommy? Kick balls…not the walls.”

Yes, she is correctly repeating a bit of admonition I shared with her the other day while eating breakfast, as she was kicking the wall with her feet while sitting in her lobster. 

Saying “NO” and “DON’T DO _____ XYZ” is ineffective. It also teaches her that nasty N word we just love to hear from our toddler. Instead, I’m trying out positive statements.

Yes, you may have your baba at dinnertime!
Yes, you may have a snack when we get home.

Yes, you may sit on the chair and not on the table.

Absolutely! You may have the brush when I am finished….

You get the idea.

The NO statements come in the form of pure reprimands like letting go of my hand when in the street. OR..running away from me when I come to get her from a dangerous situation. (etc.) I want to make those times seriously NNNN OOOO!!!

These simple little ideas help her to be kind also at public places and it comes in handy. At Starbucks with Nyla and Kelly, she sat in a big girl chair and ate with us. When she was finished she figured she would get down. First, Nyla had to have a selfie

 

Then Tatum plopped down and what did I say?

Yes! you may get down when we are all finished. She looked at me, hopped back on her chair without too much fuss.
Reality? We only lasted a few more minutes, but …hey!…it worked for that moment, and for that I am thankful.

 

She never would touch water. The look on her face when I gave her a baba full of icy cold water would kill a cat. She’d spit it out and give me that look like, “Where is the flavor, mom?” What is more appealing, however, then is someone else’s baba!? Yes, mommy’s. This happens to be her favorite drink: whatever mommy is drinking! Water wins. 

AAAAAH…Delicious! Mommy got a few drops of her refreshingly cold water, but it was worth it to watch her enjoy every drop.

Moreover, the only way I could help her enjoy this new block building toy, was to enjoy building it myself and watching it fall. Tatum cannot possibly be left out of what is going on, (wink wink, I figured this out in my reverse psychological mind) so I did it first. Then, she wanted to build upon the blue. I had her name each color as she placed the block on top of each other. She had to stand on her tippy tippy toys to reach the top RED one!And VOILA! Masterpiece!

The brave men and women who have served this country: Thank you for your service. Thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for caring more about us than you did about your lives.

Tatum and I headed to the park to catch the end of a celebration for Veteran’s Day. While there, we met with dear friends and played.

The sunset welcomed us with its pink tones as we headed home. 

 

This word conjures up many images. It would be so much easier if we could perk up our ears when we are truly listening to what is being said to us.

Well, before you can be heard, you have to be able to speak what is in your heart. Tatum has no problem voicing her opinion to me. She also can identify her feelings based on happy/no happy. This suffices for now. At this point, if she breaks down and cries, I probe and probe and LISTEN. She also responds with her attempt to explain. Then I can hopefully find out why she is “no happy.”

Moreover, she does listen to me constantly with her ability to mimic what I say. (This keeps my speech from being non-edifying!) To hear her hear me is also incredibly rewarding as she is picking up words that I did not know she even could say.

She continues to build on her current speech with new adjectives and an attempt at verbs.

Tatum is happy; no, her mommy strives each day to make sure she is secure, safe, significant, and so loved. If that can make her happy, then I AM HAPPY.

She just brightens my day.  Dearest Tatum…

There are no words to describe the love I have for you. Each day you show new ways of being you. You show that YOU have an opinion, a voice, and a personality. Uniquely your own. If I try to force you into anything, it backfires (unless it involves your safety), so I allow you to feel the choice and make it, making it fun for you. That could mean when I try to dress you in the morning, I put your pants on my head, act like I’m having trouble, and then you can come to my rescue and show me how to put them on YOUR legs. Next thing you know, with gusto and determination, you are dressed.

When I least expect it, you share with me a new word, converse with me with passion, and tell me, “Tata happy, mommy happy?” I reply, “Mommy happy.”

 

Every Saturday, Tatum has been going to a “Twosy Doodler” class with the Parks and Rec. Today was the last day of the first session, so I thought I’d celebrate her art with creating a gallery. 

She may have had a wee-bit of help from her mommy (i.e. holding the brush with her, helping with the glue, placement of the object help….)…but in the end, Tatum did it herself. The joy is in the discovery of the mediums we used.

Who knows if she will be the next Mimi in the family, but at least she has “art!” 🙂