Hay Happens and Hay's Happen

Mothering is like farming. You plant seeds, water, fertilize and then wait. Ideally, you see flowers along the journey to the ultimate crop of bright colorful vegetables, but sometimes it just feels, well, like you are running out of water. The enjoyment of being around Tatum trumps anything I may be missing out on, but the sheer fact that she is testing the boundaries keeps me on my toes. It also challenges my emotions because if you are not careful, you can take it personally!

Knowing it may have been too cold, and Tatum was a bit tired, I still decided to take her to the train park after her nap. The whole time, she kept me on my toes with running another way, not following directions, and just plain whining and complaining. What made it worse was that I was not planning on taking her on the choo-choo, but to my surprise, I found $10 in my fleece pullover which I had not worn in two years. Love when that happens! So, I said she could pick between that and the up and down. The up and down was more suited to the theme of this park experience, but she chose the choo-choo. Sadly she did not want me to touch or hold her the whole time. Then when we got off, she whined about leaving even though I had told her that we were headed home.

That evening, she had her dinner, we read a few books with more struggle and then when I put her down, it all came apparent to what was going on. She was EXHAUSTED. This was no excuse, but it definitely made me realize how ornery we can be when we are so tired. She will continue to learn that kindness still must be pursued no matter how you feel.

Modeling kindness can come in many forms; and this season, we are doing BLESSING BAGS. Perhaps Tatum can sense that the world is not only about her needs being met immediately. My Mimi Blossom cookies fill the bags, and we take a couple with us every day. Then, when prompted by HIS VOICE to just give one away to someone, we do, spontaneously.

Tis the season to understand that we are KIND, no matter what.

 

Just another Thursday….Really. For me, Thanksgiving is a daily practice. The only difference was some delicious food with my amazing family, actually doing my hair with a hairdryer and hairspray, and putting Tatum in the cutest doggie dress of all time.

Whenever we walk in the Kramer’s house, Nyla (Lala) greets us with a huge smile. Her ability to teach Tot the fist pump with flair amazes me.

She immediately noticed Thomas, James, and Henry all set up, yet something else green (besides atrain) had her eye .

 

Limes look so inviting. Until you take a bite out of it expecting an orange. 

Kelly and James (and Barbara) made the best TWO turkeys, gravy ever. I could put gravy on my shoe and I’d probably eat it. The rest of the dinner was thanks to Morgy and Nyla (our next Iron Chef at 12)

Kelly showed us her new schwanky bracelet from her adorable hubby and Levi crashed on the couch due to riding 100 miles on his bike (on purpose.)

While we waited for dinner, Tot discovered Kelly’s green platforms. I’m grateful for her not hitting her head. She could have put an eye out. 

 

Dinner. Mmmmmmmmmmmm

Then it was time for Tatum to discover “baby’s” bed and instead of putting them to bed, she put herself to bed. 
Delicious, Delightful, De-Lovely. What a glorious day. 
Thankful. 

 

 

 

My home is my classroom; and that is how I feel raising Tatum. I pour through books, I read countless articles, I ask a bazillion questions, and I pray. A bunch. (asking for wisdom and patience!) I attack parenting like I did/do teaching, and that is to soak it all in, learning as much as I can along the way.

In my never-ending quest of perfection (ha), I picked up a new book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids by Turansky and Miller. This will be a  keeper. Why? Because it has helped me develop something I want to instill into Tatum (which will go on her wall!) This magic word is not new, and especially not to our Father:

H O N O R

Honor is: Treating people as special,

doing more that what’s expected,

and having a good attitude

(They give a visual of this: We all wish we could receive a gift, but instead we sometimes receive hurtful words. It’s like receiving dirt.) (11)
I have always discuss the value of respect, but I’m changing that now. Not because respect is not important; I’m just stepping it up a notch. This is why:

Respect acknowledge’s a person’s position; honor attaches worth to that person as an individual

Respect teaches manners and proper behavior in the presence of others; honor teaches an appreciation of that person

Respect can become a technique to make a family look good on the outside; honor builds the hidden bonds that provide strength and lasting unity (19)

When I “discipline” Tatum, my goal is to help her not only act correctly but to have a heart attitude of love. This means I have to guide her in her thinking. This is how God made her to be. “Honor addresses what is going on below the surface and considers a child’s heart.” (23) This means that as they say:
“Honor requires us to ask different questions about life.” This means acting and talking that pleases others (no matter if they are present or not). My job is to help her catch that vision of honor so she wants to please others. Moreover, that she not only does what is expected, but does a bit extra. They give an example of a boy who helped a family mow the lawn. Without asking he swept the driveway as just a kind bonus. This caught on in the neighborhood and soon he was flooded with work requests!

Attitude is everything. As cliche as this is, it’s true. When Tatum is just obedient, she is just acting the part. When she is honoring, she is acting WITH an attitude that goes with the actions. If and when she does do something that is unkind, I become VERY sad. She sees my reaction and starts to realize this is not the way to happiness and success for her. Making others and God sad can evoke a better way to do what she has done wrong.

As adults, we have old tapes playing in our heads from when we were children. Hopefully they are positive; For many they may be, “Big boys don’t cry…carrots will make your hair grow…” Some tapes are helpful and some are destructive. If I can be simple in my reactions to Tatum when she does something dishonoring, then perhaps those can be memorable. For example: She says “NO!” I respond: “That was unkind.” She does something mean to Coti, I can say, “That wasn’t very loving.” As the author’s say, “Over time they create a recording in the child’s head.” (101)

I continue to reflect and refine as I teach her in the way she should go. The CORE VALUE wall is on the make in my head. More to come 🙂

Ending an era. The infant stage is officially over, and two has crept up like a speeding freight train with a jet engine.

 

Her two-year old check up this morning reminded me of my immense gratitude for my little girl. They handed me two separate questionnaires. One was just basic questions that I SERIOUSLY take for granted. Does she smile when I talk to her? Does she play and share? Does she treat toys properly? Does she stare at something for no particular reason? Many of these questions, I assumed, were to screen for autism. It made me so sad to think that could have been Tatum. Then the other questionnaire was about lead exposure. Again, I just had no idea the risks children can be exposed to. And here I was stressed about her pin drop of toothpaste she swallows every morning.

Thank you Lord.

“She is so articulate!” “Her vocabulary is so advanced!” “Wow she is smart!” “Look at that vibrant personality!”

I hear all of these things often, and I enjoy being a part of her growing up and being her mommy. I love you Two Year Old Tater Tot.

 

 

TWO TWO IS HERE! I had to arrive early when it was a freezing (for me!) 50 degrees at 7am to CLAIM a table. 

 

Then it was time to get Tatum so I headed home to say ARISE MY DARLING!
We headed to the park and awaited the guests. 11:30…The party at the train park was a hit because so many loved ones joined us. I had to share grati”two”de with all of the attendees, so I wrote TWO things I’m thankful for each person.

Nothing else can describe how I feel today.

 

(thank you Marlena, Addison and Alexa for the signage!!!)

All of us sang to her and she just enjoyed all of the eyes on her. 

Thank you to all who came and enjoyed the thrills of Tot and cake. 🙂

One of the greatest gifts she received was an easel from Jocy, my dearest friend.

This will grow with her as she becomes more paint and art literate 🙂 She also received many train gifts, books, and of course CLOTHES. Nancy had a shirt made with her name on it and Psalm 139. Bobby even adopted an elephant in her name! An elephant! My dear mom made a delicious train cake FROM SCRATCH! Marlena and her girls made sure we could see the party with their designs!

Her enjoyment of Thomas the Train continues, and she makes that known to all with her knowledge of Percy, Henry and James. Percy seems to be her favorite right now due to his friendly smile and helpful attitude for Thomas. (I’d like to think so)

The end of the day ended with Tatum grabbing a balloon saying, “clip to me?”, grabbing her hat and hiding in the corner. 

We read her new Thomas books, Devotionals and Prayers. These two years have been the best (and biggest growth!) of my life. I’m honored to be your mommy.

 

 

 

 

And Tatum and I had to go purchase the trays of food as my mom made her Thomas the Train cake. The balloons was all she cared about, and the idea of holding it because it would escape pervaded her head.

She would not even let go in the car even though the travel of the balloon was 2 inches up. 
And when it did escape, “HELP MOMMY!!!” She held that balloon so tight that I’m surprised it did not POP and cause me to fly off the street.

Tomorrow, we go to the train park with many friends to celebrate the end of an era and the beginning of a new one. Infant to Toddler with THOMAS the train. She is practicing.

My heart aches to keep her young, but she continues to wow and ZOW me with her preciousness. Tot is on her way to a greater purpose and life with HIM. 🙂 XOXOXO. I love you Tata

 

 

Yes, it hit 46 at night and in the morning. And with that, Tatum has her lid on. 

Tatum and mommy just get cozier. Her VIBRANT personality truly keeps me on my toes. Her ability to communicate has helped immensely when she is whiny or crying. However, when she does whine, my ears go bye-bye.  😉