Hay Happens and Hay's Happen

Putting Tatum in school requires a whole lot of brain space. There are many different dimensions to consider.

First, there’s the aspect of what is the best choice for her needs for Preschool. I tend to work backwards. Where will she be going to college? High school? grade school? Kinder? Ok, not really, I’m more focused on where I want to put her in Kinder because where she goes is where I’d like her to stay through high school (if that is possible!) That means the choice for Kinder is driving much of my decisions. BUT, how can I know this so early in the game. More later on this topic.

That leads me back to next year with Pre-K. Now, she will be turning 5 in November which means she’ll be on the older side of Pre-K and then Kinder. They have the option at PFT for her to attend from 9-2:30/ 5 days a week. When I was offered this my heart fell into my stomach. It was a reminder that she could possibly be gone for most of the day! Is she ready for this? Shoot, am I ready for this? Gut says, NO WAY JOSE! But, it would be good for her in some ways. She’d receive science and Spanish in the afternoon.

Well, I am in the process of interviewing the teachers and praying a ton about what is best for her next year. I am also interviewing and touring schools for Kinder so I know what to be prepared for in 18 months. Here in AZ, there are a PLETHORA of choices! It’s ridiculous really but a huge blessing.

All this to say that I am experiencing choice overload. The different routes are all good, so picking the “best” one is really an unknown at this point.

So, I’m back to Pre-K and how LONG I want her to go. 4 days a week 9-12? 5 day a week 9-12? (She currently attends 3 days 9-12). Then do I choose 5 days 9-2:30?

Next, Kinder? What will I choose? The point is that this next year is the last year I have a choice to keep her with me for most of the day. I want to SAVOR that!

I have to put my needs aside, yes, but I do know that with this next year being the last opportunity to soak in Tot Time, I may opt for the 1/2 day.

 

Prayers will continue as these choices continue to evolve!

Every morning, I take Coti around the block, and Tatum waits for me in the kitchen. She usually brings down some random occupiers like Lego guys, a soccer ball, a microphone, or a load of books. When I return, she is nowhere to be found!

Or is she? Two teeny tiny feet give her away every time, and she continues to keep me guessing.

The next morning, 

 

HI mom.

Doug caught on to the hiding game, and this time Baby got to be the hider.

Baby! How in the frito did you get up there!? Peek a boo!!!!

There is no telling the shenanigans this Tot or Baby will get into!

I don’t often take pictures of Tatum when she is like this:

But, this is the classic Tot look. Fingers in mouth and baby’s nose rubbing her nose.  It’s her happy place. And honestly, those fingers are inserted into her mouth more often than not.

It has been ADORable  cute for a long time, and it still is, but not only is it inhibiting her ability to have manners at times (she inserts her fingers in her mouth when appearing to be shy) and it is also ruining her teeth.

Actually, today, the dentist said that it is going to hurt her new teeth as they grow in because they’ll grow out, and she won’t be able to bite down straight. EEK! Dr. “Vee” looked her straight in the eye and shared this with her as Tatum started to slightly blubber. Dr. Vee said she would give her a prize if in 6-months she’s finger lickin’ free.

This brought on the ideas….I told her I’d give her until Friday to decide what would be a new toy she’d like to have if she could stop.

We conversed about it in the car… (note the “coffee” cup. It’s an empty cup of nothing. A mommy-alike gaff)

Then she showed me her pretend binky.

Well, maybe. Then maybe if she could just try putting baby to her nose and putting her knuckles at her lips. She was successful ALL DAY.

Tonight? We shall see. Quitting this habit is going to be good lesson for her.

She can do it a little at a time everyday.

Stay tuned….

When I am at a stoplight, I often reach back to hold Tatum’s hand. Just having her in my presence gives me joy.

Well, right after this, she said, “Mommy, I don’t want you to go.” I was curious because I wasn’t going anywhere! We were together all day; she then waxed eloquent about how she did not want me to go anywhere away from her ever again. I then threw it back at her and then said, “Well, I don’t want you to go away from me anytime ever.”  She smiled and we had a moment.

Later we headed to the park for our usual. We had not ridden the carousel or the train for eons, so we revisited this memory.  First, we had to swing since she is such a pro now.

Then she announced that she wanted to ride the carousel by herself, but I had to be right next to her. DEAL!

Well, I think she changed her mind based on her face and pronouncing, “Mommy, get on!”

And I caved…

You see, I am finding that this little light of mine has changed me. She has made me appreciate the finest moments in life…the mundane. THIS is where the “fun” of life really exists because you are just

TOGETHER.

Doug and I are jumping all in. Yes, we are going to a new church, Scottsdale Bible, and I for one am pumped. For Tatum, there are a plethora of opportunities to creatively thrive and grow in Jesus as well. For Doug and me, there are groups, Bible Studies, and friendships to be had. Also opportunities to serve. For me, this is my thing…I want to find some places to serve and help others.

We decided to have a Starbucks before we got there to have conversation,

compare shoes, 

and build a farm of course

Grandma and Tatum share a moment.

We dropped off Tatum at Discovery Kids and off we went.

We, as a unit, are all excited about hope and growth.

We are attempting to make a peaceful transition into the 4’s. You see, it has not been as easy as I thought it would be. For example, dropping off Tatum at school the past few weeks has been difficult for her. And it shows. LOUDLY.

Actually, there has been an increase in the dramatic show of emotions as of late. Sometimes she expects me to read her mind and when I don’t get it right, she’ll start to cry. It’s a little more pronounced since she’s turned 4 for some reason. I’m learning how to help her navigate through her bevy of emotions as I figure out how to handle them myself!

Tatum (and I know I) have been holding on to pieces of her that are still 1, 2 and 3. I love picking her up and holding her. I love her little cries when she needs mommy. I love her needing me to help her! I’m sure there will always be her 1, 2, and 3’s present as she gets older; it will just look a bit different.

Then there is the 4-year old who wants to be 7. She can do it herself. She can be bossy and demanding. She’s discovering her personhood little by little, and sometimes it can be overly emotional.

This brings me to a timely book: The Little Tree. It is a wonderful reminder to Tatum and especially for me.

 

The book starts out with all of the little trees being so beautiful and green. Then as fall arrives, they all start to drop their leaves, but not the little tree.

It holds onto its leaves tight and won’t let go. Many come by and ask the little tree why, but it stays still, unwavering. Then spring arrives and the other trees are blossoming new beautiful green leaves and growing, but the little tree’s leaves stay brown. 

The cycle continues and the other trees are growing as the little tree remains the same. No change. No growth.

 

Finally finally finally, it decides to let one go. Then another and another. It steps out on faith and it is bitterly cold and hard!

What happens next?

A beautiful tree is not so little anymore. (and look at the love all around it now!)

A great lesson for me as we allow for her growth and independence to occur. Sure, I want her to remain in my lap and cradled in my arms forever, but that is not going to help her at all. Ultimately, what I do want for her is to grow into the woman God made her to be, and that is the beautiful tree I know she will be. I love you Tatum Knight.