More impressive writing!

I had her write a story using FIVE of the stems…into words): I LOVE HER USE oF PARTICIPIAL PHRASE

I gave her a prompt about a monkey in a zoo. She turned it into this:


My great escape (again) 

I never liked the zoo. Too many bars, too many rules. So one night, when the keeper forgot to lock my enclosure properly, I made my move.

Slipping through the gap, I scurried past sleeping lions and dozing flamingos, climbed the tallest fence, and leapt into the unknown. The city was loud—honking cars, flashing lights, and strange smells. But I didn’t stop. I swung from trees, scrambled over rooftops, and eventually found myself in a quiet neighborhood.

That’s when I saw him—a small human sitting by an aquatic pond, staring at the fish swimming in neat, concentric circles. He looked lonely. So, being the generous monkey that I am, I decided to introduce myself.

He didn’t scream. Instead, he held out a banana. A banana. I liked him immediately.

As I reached for it, a centipede scurried across his hand. The boy yelped, tossing the rest of the banana into the grass. I clapped—I always love a good surprise.

Then, his parents came outside. The big one squinted at me. “Well, he doesn’t seem dangerous.”

The other one nodded. “And he has great auditory skills.”

I had no idea what that meant, but I did know that their garden trellis was perfect for climbing. So I scrambled up, wrapped my tail around it, and chattered happily.

The boy laughed. His parents sighed. And just like that, I had a new home. No cages, no bars—just a family, a backyard, and as many bananas as I could eat.

SO GOOD!

HARD AT WORK WHILE THE MUSIC PLAYS

Then, her academic paragraph. I gave her a topic sentence. We are reading FEVER by Laurie Halse Anderson. She did! Schaffer style with TS, CD, CM, CM, CD, CM CM, CS (2 chunks)

FEVER paragraph:

Mattie is unsure of what the future holds. For example, when her mother gets yellow fever, she starts questioning everything. “But she’s so pale, can’t the medison wait a day or two?” (Anderson,72) Her mother got yellow fever, and everything caved in for poor Mattie, her and her grandfather go on a ride to another village to get away from yellow fever and her grandfather gets sick, but not with yellow fever, no he got sick from all the heat. Well, the wagon driver throws them off and rides off with everything they had in the wagon, food, water, and even clothes.  Well on that same day mattie faints from yellow fever bc she got it. And a few days later she wakes up in a hospital which her grandpa had risked his life to bring her to. Well, her grandpa is fine now. Soon she starts hallucinating and thinks she hears and sees dead people getting buried and carried off.  Another example is, when they get back to their house. “The front room was a jumble. Tables and chairs lay Helter-skelter. The clock was missing from the mantle.”   (Anderson,122)  When they get home the first floor is a total junk yard, half the stuff is gone, food is gone, tons of stuff is broken, the parrot is gone. And the money pot is still there. The second floor has not been touched. 
When mattie goes upstairs the mother who has yellow fever is not there. The room stenches of sickness. And grandfather is cherry red, and he goes to his bed to rest. Matilda’s life is a twisting turning road. 

I love it! She is getting so much better. Love being her teacher.

xxoo

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