Have you ever had something just hit you, and you just knew it was from God? My heart has been filled with emotions lately coupled with anxiety, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Part of it was exciting to think that I may have a couple extra hours twice a week, but on the other hand, for what? This was not about me getting more work done, as nice as that sounded. I made a CHOICE to put that on the back burner for a season and focus solely on being the best mom to my daughter when she is in my care. Now, when she is of age for school, then sure, I can be more flexible with being focused on my work.
But today, when I went to the open house at her preschool, I knew. I just knew. WHY AM I RUSHING THIS? They all sat down for story time, and I noticed every child was way over three. 
Tatum sure noticed when she had her babies in her lap. She even handed them to me, and I had to leave the room crying; she should still have her babies and not have to rush being past them yet!
Tatum is shy of three by four months. Does she need to be there right now? She knows her colors, letters, numbers, shapes…. yet I was doing this for social reasons. In my eyes, she is plenty socialized if not more than the average FOUR year old!
I was so glad that my mom and Doug joined me today.
I don’t know what I would have done had they not been there. I needed to process my decision as I stood there staring at the classroom. It was like a ton of bricks hit me..like the moment I JUST KNEW I COULD NOT go back to work. It was the SAME feeling. NO! I cannot do this…just yet.
She did love the classroom, but we will continue to do our activities and I will soak in every minute, because the moment she starts school, the clock ticks and my time with her becomes shorter and shorter.
The rest of our day, Doug, taking the morning off, kindly joined us for Music class. 
I think my little Tot adores him!
So, change in course! Tot and I will make the most of our FALL as we inch closer to that time when school is absolutely obviously the place for her to be. 