(Names of friends have been abbreviated due to privacy issues)
Tatum has two bosom buddies this year: F and K. (Actually, it started out with 3: F, K, and J) J changed her mind a week ago because she didn’t find them cool enough apparently.
These other two girls are truly kind, and they all like to read. Also, they do not seem to care that they are not “cool.” J, from the past, goes from friend group to friend group looking to “fit in.” (More of a follower according to Tatum). However, Tatum really likes J and misses her being a part of the threesome.
Also, there is a “cool” group (Tatum calls them the “E” group), and they have been known to gossip, tease, and exclude. However, Tatum is still kind to all of these girls. Just yesterday, J approached Tatum and wants to still be friends, but J doesn’t want K to be in their group. Dilemma for Tatum because she wants all to be together. AND..to put more salt on the wound, The “E” group wants to be friends with Tatum now. It’s a typical middle school tale of fickleness and exclusivity.
Tatum got in the car and said she wants to be in the “E” group and also with F and K. OH. Gosh, how to navigate
Well, Tatum and I usually read at night, but tonight, she wanted to talk. How can she be friends with both groups at the same time!?
YOU CAN!
But, do you have to hang out with all the girls? No. You are kind to all, but you have trust with only one or two.
We put F and E side by side. I asked her a series of questions: The “E” friends…Ok, yay! you have all of these fun cool friends! Then there’s F and K. You have what? Oh, comfort, loyalty, laughter. Let’s say, you are having a bad day, or you need a hug, or you have some trouble and you need support. Who is there?
OH, that is OBVIOUS! F! (and K too). Well. There. you. go. The “E” friend or E run…they run when you need them and then talk about you behind your back.
She then ran out of the room and grabbed some mini-journals. She said,
“I WANT TO START A GROUP AND BE THE LEADER: ANYONE CAN JOIN> Here are the rules:”
Ok;
ALSO< she ran and retrieved her BIBLE and found these two FOUNDATIONAL VERSES for which the group will be based:
She made a journal for K and one for F. She is going to present the journal to each girl tomorrow to see if they want to be a part. Then anyone can be in it.
Tatum and I discussed what is a LEADER today on the way to school.
LEADERS ARE NOT bossy, but influence others by serving and listening. They are kind and include all. People want to be around them (like Jesus) since they are no domineering.
Ok, Tatum take it away. Praying for courage and kindness.
XXOO Stay tuned for the Friend Report. (it’s a wild web we weave in the friend department when it comes to girls. I’ve been there and done that, and I’m ready to guide you, girl. Just stay true to YOU and to what God would want and WHO HE wants you to be).
AMEN.