Entering the Promised Land

As told in the Torah (or the first 5 books of the Bible (Old Testament)), the Israelites were preparing to go to the Promised Land. According to one commentary,

“As they travelled, God was with them. He looked after them. He provided food and drink for them. But the *Israelites complained about life in the *desert. They did not trust God. They did not obey God. So God punished them. They wandered in the *desert for nearly 40 years. All the adults who had left Egypt died in the *desert, except Joshua and Caleb.”

But HE PROMISED. So, what did he do? He gave it to their children. God always does what he has promised.

The concept of PROMISE is something which I am not used to understanding. We throw around that word likes it’s a frisbee and actually believe what we say at that very moment. “If you do this (fill in the blank) for me, I’ll be your best friend forever; I promise!” Remember saying this as a wee tot? Or maybe it was said to you just yesterday! I have been promised (and hooked my hope onto) many friendships, potential love relationships, product or services I have purchased, financial gain.. (the list is endless).
Naked Eyes (that one-hit wonder 80’s group) said it best, “Never had a doubt in the beginning; Never a doubt; Trusted you true in the beginning…You made me promises, promises..You knew you’d never keep; Promises, promises; Why do I believe?”…… Yet most of them fall through and without malicious intent, as opposed to Naked Eyes rendition. Many promises are made thinking they would be fulfilled. Life circumstances just get in the way, and we are let down and disappointed. In fact, I am sure I have broken promises, and this hurts even more because I know how it feels. We are all flawed human beings.

I am keenly aware of this topic because now that I am a mother, I need to watch every word I say. Not only to Tatum, but to everyone. Often a friend at church will say, “We need to get together sometime. Let’s have lunch!” Then I’ll say, “I’ll call you and we’ll get together.” A teeny promise made and made with all our heart! Yes…let’s get together soon and have lunch!  Then what happens? Monday hits and the crazy week begins….and……. next thing you know, it’s a broken promise.

As I focus on my relationship with God, I am constantly…constantly reminded that HE never breaks a promise. He puts things on hold, perhaps, or He doesn’t fulfill what I THINK He should fulfill, but one thing I DO KNOW: He LOVES me, and that may hurt sometimes. That may feel like silence. That may feel like a redirection of MY plan. BUT, when I look back on all the things I have been through, I see HE DOES come through. The children of Israel saw the fulfillment of His promises; the generation preceding did not. They did not see the big picture and often we do not either.

Sometimes, I feel like that Israelite wandering in the desert feeling….well, deserted! The promises made to me were left in cyberspace, and I even feel a silence from my Heavenly Father. That is why I continue to go back to His Word to be reminded; I go back to the stories of the others who have preceded me. I go back to His faithfulness in absolutely everything. And then. And then…. I am at peace.


My God; My Sherpa

This week, I realized how much I need a Sherpa (and thank God I have one!) What is a Sherpa? According to Wikipedia (if I may use such a source!)

“Sherpas are highly regarded as elite mountaineers and experts in their local terrain. They were immeasurably valuable to early explorers of the Himalayan region, serving as guides at the extreme altitudes of the peaks and passes in the region, particularly for expeditions to climb Mt. Everest…They are known for their hardiness, expertise, and experience at high altitudes.” 

I headed back to work (just to help out the sub and work with the kids on some projects) this week with much excitement and yet trepidation. The iffy part had to do with two things: Leaving Tatum and having so very little mobility. The excitement of being around my kids and working with my colleagues made it all worth it. However, I did not have enough internal fortitude to keep it ALL together ALL of the time. Who does? Well, this is when I needed to have God as my Sherpa (ALL THE TIME). 

My “terrain” becomes His terrain when I invite Him into my day. The minute my feet hit the floor, I invite HIM into my walk (no pun intended). “His grace is sufficient for me.” (2 Cor 12:9)  I am going to make mistakes and fall flat on my face (literally!), but with Him guiding my every step (actually allowing him to do so), I can handle it. Peaks, valleys, passes, heights, depths…His love for me and the gratitude I CHOOSE to see in my life, makes each step doable. He has the expertise. He has the experience (through Christ). I depend on Him (my Sherpa). And gosh…I am so dependent, I admit fully. Until I relinquished full control and submitted to His will, I am doomed to my mistakes; my scars, my scabs. I still may get them (they are inevitable), but each one gives me a chance to fall forward into His arms, learning and growing each time.

So, it was a HARD week, but I know I grew and so did Tatum. “She has the sweetest temperament, the cutest laugh, and seems extremely comfortable.” Hearing these words made my heart sing. Also, having her light up when she sees me, brings joy to my world.

May she embrace the newness of her schedule. May I adapt to entering work (eventually!) with less mobility simultaneously being effective and yet positive. May I STOP and enjoy the moment; each and every moment.

The sea of faces

Today, I worked at my school, even though I’m not supposed to be there quite yet. Being on one foot definitely is so much more difficult when trying to work. It is amazing how little I can actually do, so it is good I am not full time quite yet. This is going to be harder than I thought, but I have to have grace with myself.

The kids loved my bright pink cast!

There are so many projects for which I must handle that I need to be there for a bit. This means taking Tatum to daycare, and this is when I truly struggle. On one hand, it’s so nice to have that time where you can just focus and not worry that her needs are not being met. Then the other side of me, the pride side, says, she is going to forget me. Hogwash right?

At least when I was crutching around campus, the 8th grade students were headed out to a field trip. All were seated in the courtyard, and they all noticed me at once. The sea of faces was right in front of me, and I teared up. I really have missed being there. I have missed learning with them and teaching them. So, the argument in my  head begins. Do I have guilt over not giving enough time to my daughter, or do I fret over not being a present educator? ….at least now. This seems to be the battle for which many face.

These next few weeks, I must make the most of my time while I am at school, and then at home, I capture every second with Tater (and Coti!). The Lord is my strength. He is in charge. I do the best I can do and leave the results to Him. He knows my heart, and I pray Tater will too.

At least she seems to be enjoying her time at daycare.

Looking in the mirror

Actually, she is looking right at the most amazing gift one could ever hope.

Tatum Isabella Knight…Her name brings joy to my heart. My little girl.
Today, I had the incredible blessing of meeting with the paralegal to go over all the necessary paperwork for my hearing for Tatum. Soon, it will be final. May she know how much of a gift she is, and how much love..how much SHE is LOVED!

Happy Birthday TATER TOT! 3 Months!

What did I do to celebrate? I went to Cheesecake Factory with my mom and put Tatum at Temple Chai for the day. Hmmmmm….fair? Probably not, but I sure did need to breathe the air outside and feel partly human.

When she awoke this morning, she gave me the HUGEST smile, and I just melted.

Tatum is EXPLODING with personality as of late. Only roughly a week ago did she cry at the drop of the proverbial hat. Now, we spend many minutes googling and goggling; oogling and awgling; blubbering and bloobering…it’s dynamic! Pure gibberish, and if one were a fly on the wall he would think me ridiculous. One person’s ridiclous is another’s treasure.

She is my treasure.

Will it fit in my mouth?

She was conducting the ultimate test: What will fit in my mouth?

Today, Tatum was caught chewing on her fist! It started with a binky. She then graduated to her index finger; then three fingers. Now, it’s the whole darn hand!
To her chagrin, it would not fully fit. Therefore, we figured she may be starting to teethe. Enter teething beads. My mom put a bit of Tylenol drops on a bed in case she was in any pain. The result? She loved it!

But then…The fist ultimately won.

Tatum Teething To COME!

So, I know this is on its way, so I want to remember these tips from Scottsdale Mom’s Blog

http://www.scottsdalemomsblog.com/2012/11/20/teething-baby-must-haves/

5 Must-Haves for Your Teething Baby

by  on NOVEMBER 20, 2012 in BABIES

I know every child is different in terms of how they handle teething, or really, how they handle any situation, but man, teething sucks!

My little man just finally had his first tooth break through, and it took a while. I felt like I always heard friends say that one day their baby’s gums were red, and the very next morning they had a tooth fully popped through. Well that? That was definitely not our case. Bray started drooling and shoving his fist in his mouth as early as four months, then had swollen gums for a week or two, then had the slit in his gums for about a week, thenyou could finally feel the tooth. It took another full week and a half for the tooth to really be visible. So what’s that, a month? Not exactly the overnight magic like I had heard of!

Since our process was drawn out, I really have had time to learn some things to help make the pain of teething a little more easy for our sweet babe. Here are my top 5 life-savers (no sponsored stuff in here – just my mom-to-mom recs):

Baltic Amber Teething Necklace:

The Art of Cure TM - Baltic Amber Baby Teething Necklace - Honey w/"THE ART OF CURE TM" Jewelry Pouch

No, I am not a fan of my son wearing a necklace all the time…but I am a HUGE fan of what it does for him. This is not a necklace for them to chew on, which many people think is the purpose. The amber beads {get unpolished over polished} naturally release succinic acid, which helps with inflammation, controlling drooling, and helps heal the wound. It is all natural and has been around forever. For more info on that, read here. During the day I keep it around Brays neck {and he has never noticed it being there} and at night I wrap it around his ankle, which is in his footie jammies.

Sophie the Giraffe:

Vulli Sophie the Giraffe Teether

This is our favorite teething toy ever. He chews on all parts of it, and the squeaking entertains him…and our dogs! It’s also super is to clean, which is always nice for toys that go in the mouth.

Habba Wooden Toys and Munchkin Ice Ring:

These two teething toys are our next best options. The wooden toys is great for his gums, and the way the wood slides and clinks together, he loves banging it around! The ice ring is fabulous to cool and numb the gums, whether its taken out of the freezer or refrigerator.

Hylands Teething Tablets:

These tablets are completely natural, and completely awesome. If Bray is being extra fussy and I can tell a tooth is about to break through I pop a few of these in his mouth {they melt under his tongue} and usually within minutes he is back to his chipper self. Love them!

CVS Infant Tylenol:

When all else fails, Tylenol. We tried the Little Fevers brand first since it is dye-free, but Bray would literally spit it out. Then we tried the CVS brand, and he eats the stuff like its the best tasting thing he has ever had! We’ve only had to use this a few nights before bed time, but it sure did the trick!