Totally Tatum – Page 282 – Hay Happens and Hay's Happen

October 5, 2014October 5, 2014

Helping Hands

The concept of HELP is being illustrated in Tatum’s life. She has continuously learned this term from her books, namely her The Little Engine that Could book. When we read this I stress that the red engine sadly STOPPED and needed HELP. Three choo-choos came by and would not HELP. Then, hooray! The blue choo-choo HELPED because it was so “nice.”

The idea of helping another was shown to her the other day at the park. We were in the middle of playing on the slide, tunnel, and climber, and POOF! This lovely girl named Olivia popped into our moment and offered to help Tatum up the climber. Tot hesitated, and after encouragement from me stressing Olivia wants to HELP you, she agreed.

Olivia even offered to have T slide down on her lap! They both had such fun playing together. Olivia had to flee from our lives too quickly. Her grandmother stood nearby, and I had to approach her telling her how wonderful her daughter was to Tatum. It was a win-win. Olivia felt needed, and Tatum felt loved. And, it was not me!! She allowed to be helped and felt like that little red engine.

We spoke about Olivia all night about how nice she was to HELP. Feeling grateful, Tatum relished this feeling. I wanted her to camp on this feeling because being grateful for others helping uses a great lesson in how Jesus loves us. Olivia had no agenda; she just truly wanted to HELP. Soon, Tatum can model this HELP for others and pay it forward allowing others to be grateful.

Hands HELP and those hands then can HELP other Hands. A chain of love; giving, taking, giving, taking.

October 3, 2014October 3, 2014

The Knight Mission and Core Values TBA

Every company I have ever worked for and every affiliation I have been associated with has a mission statement and core vales for which they stand. They are simple to remember yet stand for something not easy to attain yet require true commitment and dedication.

Mission statements explain an “organization’s purpose and direction.” They keep the “group or the team” with concise and motivating vision for the future. (and they keep the teammates inspired to be a part)

Core values guide behavior and choice. They help with making decisions and being true to self.

If one is true to the statement and value, then the culture within the company is forward moving and focused (and happy I might add because all have a part of making it so)

Why should families not have the same thing?

I just finished reading a blog, “Three Core Values to Teach Your Kids” by Pam Farrell, and this is exactly what her family did. They had ONLY THREE (to keep it simple) Core values they wanted their kids to embody and embrace and each is supported by scripture. These were prayed over since their children were infants.

These are what they chose:

Learners. Those who want to compete in life so they are willing to do the hard work to learn and become excellent.
Leaders: In their sphere of influence using their own unique leadership style we desire they be difference makers that lead rather than follow the crowd.
Love God: We want them to own their own faith and walk out their own personal relationship with God.

Annually they had a “Learner and Leader” Day to negotiate privileges and responsibilities, pick a trait to work on and celebrate what they had accomplished. On that day they also had a contract for each child with a verse and a trait. This way they knew what the family stood for!

They created a “family crest” to visually represent these values. I love his she says that she wanted “the source of all their hopes, dreams and desires to come from God’s heart. We believe if a child, tween or teen develops a vibrant relationship with God, it will be easier for him or her to sense where God what life path God created for them to walk.”

I am now an a path to create this before the new year. This is what Pam says to do: “What do you want your family to be known for? What are your core values, those 3-4 traits you want your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to possess? See if you can draw a moniker, a crest, filled with symbols to explain the values you cherish most. Then select a verse, just a few words to use as a motto. Print it, post it and pray it to keep centered on the things that matter most in life!”

The three she chose speak to me, but I’m not settled on ours yet. This will require a heart check and lots of prayer. I want this to be Tatum’s pride and joy…..her family.

October 1, 2014October 1, 2014

O’s and staying power

Cheerios have a great purpose. They keep Tatum focused through the sermon, and she really does listen! Those little O’s should be marketed as a cereal with staying power. Plus, they fit on her little fingers.

Really, an abundant life is illustrated by a simple Cheerio.

First, they are round. Round things just feel good to hold;

there are no sharp edges and they are complete. Our lives can be complete if we let them. Why is it so hard to just be OK with the “not there yet” mentality. That circle does not seem to close in our lives because of something not quite right at the moment. Yet, Paul points out that God said, ““My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Cor 12:9). Sure, it can sound cliche, but honestly, we need grace. Why? Because we will ALWAYS feel incomplete; even when we THINK we have it all together. That circle only closes when we throw up our arms and just say DONE…I’m done trying to make everything so perfect!

Second, they are easy to clean up.

You can spill Cheerios everywhere, but a few sweeps, and poof! All clean. No fuss no muss.

I know when I mess up, I can make it messier than it was in the first place. Usually because of an unforgiving spirit, unmet expectations, or just plain selfishness. How hard is it to take a broom and just sweep it clean? “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” Ps 103:8 He sweeps things away pretty fast if we are repentant. We need to do the same (for ourselves too!) Life is messy! Why? Because we are messed up people relating to other messed up people. I must look in the mirror first and get cleaned up with some simple sweeps from Jesus. He will clean me up. (Then I pray for others)

Finally, Cheerios are not too sweet; they are just right. The Bible even warns about too much of a good thing: “If you have found honey, eat only enough for you, lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.” (Prov 25:6)

This analogy convinces me that as I progress in this life as Tatum’s mommy and in my own endeavors, it’s easy to get imbalanced in one area. Being or having “too much” of anything is not healthy. Listening to the Holy Spirit prompt me when I have anxiety gives me a glimpse into my imbalanced moments. Being reflective I often find when my focus is on Jesus, my anxiety wanes. (and my “Cheerio: becomes complete).

The way Tatum adores her babies is how Jesus feels about US. She is jubilant to see them, she embraces them with tenderness, and she helps them feel secure.

Who knew that a little O could illustrate the staying power that we all need in this life.

Now, I think I’ll go have a handful (unsweetened original of course!) 🙂

September 30, 2014October 1, 2014

The Siblings

Tossing the green squeaky alligator, Tatum feels victorious with Coti catching it and running to get it.

Coti only seems to drop it for Tatum. With everyone else, it’s keep away. Lucky girl!

September 27, 2014September 27, 2014

Bow vs. Train

What makes a girl smile?

which I find on the floor, in a hamper, on a shelf (removed from her head)

????

Thomas the Train

But the color PINK meets TRAIN…and she is purely pleased. Rosie the Train is the free-spirited, fun train.

September 27, 2014

I Love You Forever

The new satin jammies were a perfect complement to her most favorite book. Tatum cannot get enough of this book:

She goes through each page commenting and singing.

The thread of:
weaves through the book as the “baby” grows older into a man and then full circle loves and holds his mommy when she is older. Then transfers the tradition back to his own child.

The child’s mind works in interesting ways as she is attached to some books and pictures while others she does not touch. Same with her babies. She has been around multiple little bears, but the look on these babies…

makes her joyful beyond compare.

September 25, 2014September 25, 2014

Give them some credit!

I don’t think we, as a society, do. They see and hear EVERYTHING, yet we act like they are too young to understand or to let it affect them. Ironically, parents allow their children to have technology privileges too young, they allow them to watch inappropriate TV (or at least allow it to be on in the background), they play inappropriate music and have inappropriate conversations in front of them. So, in these cases, parents treat their children like full grown WISE adults able to decipher between what is healthy and not so healthy for the heart and mind. But then, they turn around and hover over them, making their decisions and clean up their messes (figuratively and literally).

The most recent example of this was yesterday at our library class. This class is designed for 24-36 month olds and is mainly to help them with their literacy. They sing with movements, read, and introduce a letter. More importantly, they learn to sit quietly while the instructor speaks, paying attention with focus. They also learn to be kind and share their square if need be. There were two moms in the back of the class carrying on in conversation as their LO’s climbed all over them not paying attention. (Their moms would say they are too young to understand the class anyway!) Well, no wonder! The moms were allowing it. Now, their LO’s were much younger (maybe 15-18mos), but believe me, they are watching. The also are getting into routines and it has to start as soon as possible (when they are infants). There is not a magic number of when to start teaching children these skills. You just have to LIVE THEM YOURSELF. These moms are going to wonder why their children won’t sit still or pay attention when they become 2, 3, 4… They will just blame the age and say, “They are just going through that ‘phase’ ya know..”

When will parents take responsibility by being the best role models FIRST? Then, expect the BEST from their kids? Tatum is too young for this class, many would say. I take her to it anyway, and I expect her to ‘pay attention, be kind, and share’. I tell her this BEFORE we go into the class so she knows! Also, she can see others are doing it, especially me (her mommy and role model)

Since I have been introducing her to many skills at such a young age, I find that I’m not struggling with her behavior. Why? Because I set the bar high, believe in her, encourage her and applaud her little successes. I also ‘pay attention, am kind, and I share’. It’s not rocket science. I do treat her older than she is, BUT, I don’t expect her to make wise decisions. That is why she has me…so that is why I still shield her from many things that again, ironically, these same parents allow way too young (for their not so wise toddler).

It was only just today, when I was, again, blown away by her being able to remember something that I had no idea she was getting. I put her lunch down and forgot to bless it. She looked at me and said, “Amen.” Maybe she does have more wisdom than I realize.