Living an Intentional Life
The brave men and women who have served this country: Thank you for your service. Thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you for caring more about us than you did about your lives.
Tatum and I headed to the park to catch the end of a celebration for Veteran’s Day. While there, we met with dear friends and played.
The sunset welcomed us with its pink tones as we headed home. 
This word conjures up many images. It would be so much easier if we could perk up our ears when we are truly listening to what is being said to us.
Well, before you can be heard, you have to be able to speak what is in your heart. Tatum has no problem voicing her opinion to me. She also can identify her feelings based on happy/no happy. This suffices for now. At this point, if she breaks down and cries, I probe and probe and LISTEN. She also responds with her attempt to explain. Then I can hopefully find out why she is “no happy.”
Moreover, she does listen to me constantly with her ability to mimic what I say. (This keeps my speech from being non-edifying!) To hear her hear me is also incredibly rewarding as she is picking up words that I did not know she even could say.
She continues to build on her current speech with new adjectives and an attempt at verbs.
Tatum is happy; no, her mommy strives each day to make sure she is secure, safe, significant, and so loved. If that can make her happy, then I AM HAPPY.
She just brightens my day. 
Dearest Tatum…
There are no words to describe the love I have for you. Each day you show new ways of being you. You show that YOU have an opinion, a voice, and a personality. Uniquely your own. If I try to force you into anything, it backfires (unless it involves your safety), so I allow you to feel the choice and make it, making it fun for you. That could mean when I try to dress you in the morning, I put your pants on my head, act like I’m having trouble, and then you can come to my rescue and show me how to put them on YOUR legs. Next thing you know, with gusto and determination, you are dressed.
When I least expect it, you share with me a new word, converse with me with passion, and tell me, “Tata happy, mommy happy?” I reply, “Mommy happy.”
Every Saturday, Tatum has been going to a “Twosy Doodler” class with the Parks and Rec. Today was the last day of the first session, so I thought I’d celebrate her art with creating a gallery. 
She may have had a wee-bit of help from her mommy (i.e. holding the brush with her, helping with the glue, placement of the object help….)…but in the end, Tatum did it herself. The joy is in the discovery of the mediums we used.
Who knows if she will be the next Mimi in the family, but at least she has “art!” 🙂
That’s right. Tatum is ready to share this day with all of us…
She is absolutely the most enjoyable child lately (more than usual). Some say the “Terrible Twos” exist. Perhaps they do, but perhaps it’s how you handle them. I’m for working with each uncomfortable moment she experiences and talking her through it. Moment: She express her concern/frustration. I affirm it and discuss why, and she thinks and responds. Her maturity to think with me and respond with her choice is apparent.
Not only did she enjoy the mini-pumpkin she received from Musicology class, but she discovered the music book that has been sitting in her bookshelf for a year. This is a piano for dummies (ME:) Each key has a number and coincides with a note in the story like Three Blind Mice and Jack n’ Jill. This elementary book does not make me look like I’m completely ignorant when playing music.
She may not be able to make melodic music quite yet, but she does know how to make a salad! She handed it to me nicely sans a bowl. I know.. it still tastes the same except for the need for dressing.
After that, this adorable body of bones was ready to hit the streets. We decided to take the glow-in the-dark little Tatum to a few houses with a treat. We gave them a green apple and the neighbors gave us a laugh and a smile.
Make no bones about it, this Friday was not just any Friday: It was Tatum’s last Halloween before she is a toddler. Hard to believe. Wow.
Isn’t that we all yearn for? To find OUR purpose? What the darn was I put on this earth to accomplish? Or am I supposed to wander through life without a direction?
Every child (that means all of us!) was born with a need to find a purpose in life. Tim Kimmel in his book, Grace Based Parenting, says there are levels of purpose to be found.
The overarching first level of purpose is for us to have GENERAL purpose. Therefore, I purpose to purposefully put purpose into Tatum; she needs to know she was CREATED FOR A PURPOSE…as a Knight Light
Let your LIGHT shine
“You are the light of the world. Let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven.” Matthew 5:13
With that, the core values for me to instill (a work in progress still):
Little does she know that many people live a purposeless life with no hope. With the knowledge that God did put her on this earth for something great, she can have hope at all times. The next level, being a SPECIFIC purpose, is where she needs to discover her strengths. All I can do is encourage her and help her stay focused.
She just needs to look UP and find direction.
As I consider the MISSION statement I’d like to place on Tatum’s wall, I’m also thinking of the VALUES we stand for as a family. The book I’m currently reading has me thinking about it in a whole new way. Now, it’s not really new, it’s what I have known all along, yet have not been able to articulate its meaning.
It’s called “Grace-Based Parenting,” coined by Dr. Tim Kimmel from his best-selling book. These kinds of parents spend their time entrusting themselves to Christ. The offspring are the receivers of the grace we are enjoying from God. The GRATITUDE we feel from the grace we have received is bestowed on the children especially when they are so difficult to love. (He would have their advice be):
“You are a gift from God; go make a difference.”
“You may struggle doing the right thing sometimes, but you’re forgiven.”
This all stems from Romans 1:17 “Those who are right with God will live by trusting in Him.”
But it does not stop there. It’s an awareness that there are THREE inner needs of children; everything must funnel from these:
1. A need for security
2. A need for significance
3. A need for strength
(we give our children love, purpose and hope to meet these needs, according to Kimmel)
What sets Christian faith apart from all others is GRACE; It’s that wonderful gift offered by God to us (undeserving!) that makes us fall in love with Jesus. (our Savior)
So for me, as Tatum’s mom, I want her to start with a SECURE love. According to Kimmel, this is a steady and sure love that is written on the hard drive of children’s souls. It’s a “complete love that they default to when their hearts are under attack. It’s the kind of love that children can diffidently carry with them in to the future.” And she will…she will come under personal struggles, heartbreaks, rejections, enemies. What will carry her through when mommy’s shoes won’t be there to find comfort in?
“There is a love that we can pass on to them that is steady, sure, and available to them whether we are here or not, and I’m talking about the infinite love of God.” When she is with me, I can significantly increase her capacity to move into her adult years with that security in place. This “transfer of love is called grace and that is the result of parents loving children the way God loves us.”
To be continued…..
