Category: Parenting

I admit it. I love books.

Tatum seems to be adopting this admiration as well. This morning, she screamed, “MOMMY!!!”, and after the 14th yell, I came in. She had to go potty (yeah!) and wanted out (no!) It was tooooo early, but the potty did call, so I got her out. She asked if she could come into bed with me, and so I agreed. (can of worms just opened)

As she lay next to me with her babies nestled into my head, she whispered, “Mommy? What are we having for breakfast?” Toast, I’d answer. Then two seconds later, “Mommy? What are we doing after breakfast?” Amy and Jack, I’d succinctly answer. After the third, “Mommy?” I kindly said, “Tatum, go get a book and read.”

So she did and STAYED in her room. I slept for thirty more minutes.

This wonderful picture made me realize something about Tatum. She loves to relate. Her ability to enjoy the character in the book makes her experience that much more exciting. She has to FEEL something for an animal or a person in the book, and then she makes him/her come alive. The dialogue she uses is like what we see and do every day, and watching her act it out via a book is priceless.

This proves to me that reading really engages the mind, creates imagination, and allows one to not only laugh, learn, and grow, but to enter a new world for a short time.

I continue to LOVE buying books and my LOVE keeps growing for all that has been written! Man, the creativity! We also go to the library weekly and pick up about ten new ones and take them for a test drive.

Here is an update to some of my new favorites (from another post).The books I buy for Tatum are for four to eight year olds. Why wait?

Veggie Tales makes some fun books that sing the last page! She loves to play them all at the same time. Great messages. 

Bernstein Bears teaching values

HELP! Was a test drive from the library and we loved it. It’s about true FRIENDSHIP

 

This book is “What a Wonderful World,” by Louis Armstrong in a picture book. We read it (well, I sing it), then I play the real song along with the book. (He’s much better than me!)

This Knuffle Bunny trilogy is by my favorite children’s author, Mo Willems. It’s brilliant, hilarious, and down right FUN! Tatum just adores Trixie.

Another fun book. Inspires the underwear delight!

Fun to sing this book with Tot.

These were another test drive success story. This Little Cub and Old Bear find each other and fall in love. The become Father and Son. Sounds familiar: Mommy and Tot.

Froggy fun! This author has a great style and tends to keep his books with a similar rhythm.

More Mo Willems. Darn funny. I’m addicted and need to get all of them.

The Three Bears, More fun Bernstein’s, and PD Eastman fun.

New classics I came upon.

Yes, I am addicted to books, and Tatum is reaping the benefits.

 

Rope?

There comes a time when, as a parent, you are hanging on by, not a rope, but a thread. You are tired, worn out, frustrated, and you just need a break. However, these are the times I grab on to MY rope (HIM) and I hold on tight. This means I sometimes need to lay myself down, sacrifice my needs, and apply the love HE has for me to HER. Why? Because God loves little offerings. Given in faith, the time I spend with Tatum, no matter how I feel, will feed thousands someday. This I know because I am investing into her my heart and my love of Christ. He did not do what He did everyday out of how he felt. He did it for the love of His Father and for His love for others. What manifested is millions upon millions were and are blessed daily (and then they pay it forward to others)

Another realization is that my hope often can be in ever-changing circumstances. I hope for her nap. I hope that she acts perfectly at the right time. I hope that she is kind ALWAYS. Sometimes I put more faith in that than the NEVER changing circumstances of the gospel. Rachel Jankovic, in the book Mom Enough, talks about this. “By God’s grace, I can resist the temptation to treat my children as interruptions to my will for my life. Instead, God enables me to shape me into his image according to His will.” Man, that hits me hard. When I do get frustrated that she is not fitting “my plan” for the moment, that is OK. What I learn in these “interruptions” to my plan is tantamount to any plan I have had.

This is the time to “apply what I believe about God’s mercy and kindness and long-suffering towards us and pour it out to them.” This means that I need to apply this same thing to Tatum, and with this comes not only my transformation, but Tot’s as well. So I apply HIM; I don’t have the time to read my Bible for hours, nor pray like I used to, but I CAN apply his precious Gospel to her and to others.

The key is to never stop laughing (as she wears a swim diaper on her head like a helmet)

And we never stop BEING in the moment…together.

 

 

He has the magic touch on those ivories with Tatum

Deno, Kasey’s husband, calms the world down. His ability to lighten a room and enliven a mood is evident every time I see him. 

We sure needed him to lighten the air afterward. Tatum needed a diaper change, and I needed to retrieve a diaper from my car. I did not want her to come out with me, and as I closed the door, her finger was right there in the doorway. EEEEK! Oh, boy, did that hurt. She screamed and cried for about 30 minutes (oh, and so did Tatum! (haha). Wow, that was the worst feeling in the world. Helpless. However, she said, “happy fingers” after about an hour and was back to playing.

Tatum is definitely testing her boundaries in every way possible. She’s feeling her way around the world with what she can and cannot do. Most of the time she asks me, but she sure does love to try it on her own. “Help!?” is what I usually hear after multiple tries, but then she pushes me away and says, “Tata do it.” When she does not get what she wants at that moment, she cries, and oh, I can see how moms can give in! It would be so much easier. But, if I do, then she has me wrapped around her finger. I get it. Instead, I try to turn it around and say “Yes you can in…. or, “No, that would hurt you!” It is one new decision with less than one second to figure out the wise way to handle things.

Deno, thank you for teaching us to be fun in the midst of an estrogen overload in a two year old! 🙂

Say that fast 5 times

Isn’t that we all yearn for? To find OUR purpose? What the darn was I put on this earth to  accomplish? Or am I supposed to wander through life without a direction?

Every child (that means all of us!) was born with a need to find a purpose in life. Tim Kimmel in his book, Grace Based Parenting, says there are levels of purpose to be found.

The overarching first level of purpose is for us to have GENERAL purpose. Therefore, I purpose to purposefully put purpose into Tatum; she needs to know she was CREATED FOR A PURPOSE…as a Knight Light

Let your LIGHT shine

“You are the light of the world. Let your light shine before others so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in Heaven.” Matthew 5:13

With that, the core values for me to instill (a work in progress still):

1. Leave the world nicer than you found it: Be kind and show respect: (Because) “you Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and you love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:30)
2. Commit to a lifetime of learning:  “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men” (Col. 3:23) + “Make it your ambition to a lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you so that your daily life may win the respect of the outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.” (1 Thess 4:11-12)
3. Learn from life’s experience so that you are more valuable to others. (God doesn’t waste anything): God, “who comforts us in all our affliction (struggles), so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2 Cor 1:4)
4. Be a Leader: Encourage and develop the potential of as many people as you can: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Phil 2:3,4)

Little does she know that many people live a purposeless life with no hope. With the knowledge that God did put her on this earth for something great, she can have hope at all times. The next level, being a SPECIFIC purpose, is where she needs to discover her strengths. All I can do is encourage her and help her stay focused.

She just needs to look UP and find direction.

 

As I consider the MISSION statement I’d like to place on Tatum’s wall, I’m also thinking of the VALUES we stand for as a family. The book I’m currently reading has me thinking about it in a whole new way. Now, it’s not really new, it’s what I have known all along, yet have not been able to articulate its meaning.

It’s called “Grace-Based Parenting,” coined by Dr. Tim Kimmel from his best-selling book. These kinds of parents spend their time entrusting themselves to Christ. The offspring are the receivers of the grace we are enjoying from God. The GRATITUDE we feel from the grace we have received is bestowed on the children especially when they are so difficult to love. (He would have their advice be):

“You are a gift from God; go make a difference.”

“You may struggle doing the right thing sometimes, but you’re forgiven.”

This all stems from Romans 1:17 “Those who are right with God will live by trusting in Him.”

But it does not stop there. It’s an awareness that there are THREE inner needs of children; everything must funnel from these:

1. A need for security

2. A need for significance

3. A need for strength

(we give our children love, purpose and hope to meet these needs, according to Kimmel)

What sets Christian faith apart from all others is GRACE; It’s that wonderful gift offered by God to us (undeserving!) that makes us fall in love with Jesus. (our Savior)

So for me, as Tatum’s mom, I want her to start with a SECURE love. According to Kimmel, this is a steady and sure love that is written on the hard drive of children’s souls. It’s a “complete love that they default to when their hearts are under attack. It’s the kind of love that children can diffidently carry with them in to the future.” And she will…she will come under personal struggles, heartbreaks, rejections, enemies. What will carry her through when mommy’s shoes won’t be there to find comfort in?

“There is a love that we can pass on to them that is steady, sure, and available to them whether we are here or not, and I’m talking about the infinite love of God.” When she is with me, I can significantly increase her capacity to move into her adult years with that security in place. This “transfer of love is called grace and that is the result of parents loving children the way God loves us.” 

To be continued…..