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May 3, 2014May 3, 2014

What is it about balls?

My friend Jocelyn and I used to sneak into her brother David’s room and listen to an AC/DC song which pronounced, “I’ve got big balls…” This now has become the theme of my life with now Coti and Tatum. She has now graduated to her own big blue ball (from a mini rubber one), and it is driving Coti batty.

At Fry’s today, I decided to buy her a ball since I thought it would be fun to play with it in the park. We walked by an enormous bin of multi-colored BIG soft plastic balls, and Tatum yelped, “BALL! BALL! BALL!” My master plan was to purchase one, so she chose the blue one. Sadly, she had to learn the concept of ‘to wait til we get home to play with the large blue ball.’

Success! UNTIL…………..

Coti saw this ball.

UH OH.

He could not grip this one, and so this challenge became his obsession. This BIG BLUE BALL became the bone of contention (no pun intended), so the lesson in whose ball is whose was the lesson upstairs. Eventually, Tatum gave up and grabbed her old mini rubber ball brought it to me, and proceeded to bring me more baseballs from mom’s collection. Not good. I’ve created ball monsters.

What is it about BALLS???

May 3, 2014

Modeling vs Telling

Years of teaching and reading many sagacious articles, I’m seeing the power of her copying what I do. This is a HUGE plus IF I’m engaging in positive behavior, so this keeps me constantly aware of what I’m doing and what I’m saying (plus, how I’m saying it.)

When one walks in the room, she says, “Hi!” with a big smile.

When one gives her something, no matter what it is, she gladly says, “Tank ewe!”

When she wants something from the refrigerator, she looks and sees, “Pees!?”

When she accidentally spills her water, she blurts, “Uh oh”, grabs a towel and starts wiping!

(She wanted to drink out of the cup and not spill, so she tried very hard, then laughed when she spilled a bit. My water bottle is the size of her body, so I gave her the lid to practice)

When I say, please don’t touch that (like my computer), I distract her and celebrate what she is doing instead. (it’s slowly taking effect)

When I want her to put her shoes away, she gladly walks over and puts BOTH away, and the same goes for when I want her to bring me her shoes, book, water…etc. She does it and I greatly rejoice.

Smart girl, this Tatum, and I have to keep up with her. I do put way too much pressure on myself to be perfect, and not make one error in raising her. The beauty about Tatum is she keeps me laughing; her sense of humor and smile melt my heart and keep me in the moment vs. analyzing every little thing.

Carpe Diem

May 3, 2014

Ears to Nose to Tummy

It’s been a long haul of ear infections, colds, and now, stomach problems. It’s the chicken and the egg theory. Was it the ear infection number one that brought on the cold that brought on ear infection number two? Or maybe ear infection number one never healed and the cold just occurred. Ear infection number two led to Augmentin which led to diarrhea and the 5 upchuckings of egg, banana and milk which led to a lovely odor in the car seat baking in the 100 degree weather. And now? She is getting her molars which is making all of this so much more fun for all of us! So, whatever was the genesis of this whole encounter should feel really bad because this little girl is having a tough go!

I had to pick her up from school since she was sick, and all she wanted to do was relax. Feeling a bit like settling down, she decided to mimic the doggie.
He just wanted to comfort her. I am amazed at the amount of love she has for her “dahy.” Her ability to adore and love on something (like her “baby”) shows me her heart.

The rest of the day it was water water water and lots of hugs. We switched to Omnicef, and based on my experience selling Cephalosporins, I know this is a winner. Preferably, I’d rather her not be on Antibiotics.

April 28, 2014April 29, 2014

Reunited Part 2: The day off

Tatum and me. Just the two of us all day long; this was my goal, and it ended up going superbly.

We had the privilege of having Monday off since the 7th grade trip began on the weekend, and since it was lovely weather, we opted for a morning at the Railroad Park. Let me in!!!

She woke up with green goop emanating from her nose, so I was not sure of her stamina. Praying that it was just a passing virus, I opted to try the activities. She has not been on the carousel ride yet, and since the train didn’t come for 1/2 hour, vertical moving horsies it was! Immediately into the ride, she started freaking out! She screamed, “Shoe!” She pointed to the ground and there it was: her other pink Croc….on the sidewalk. Great! Now we go around and around and she sees Shoe…Shoe…Shoe. So much for Kodak moments. She clutched onto Baby the whole time.

We arrived home, and she popped the wheelies a few times

, then wanted, “UP!” on my lap so she could work the computer. Not thinking this was a great idea, I put her baby in the bag so she could find it. Again, not such a brilliant idea. She could not find it amidst the large folds in the bag.

But then TA DA!!! Found it. Hoooray!

Wrapping up the day was a few rounds with Coti and the ball, squeekie hot dog, cow and alligator. He rough houses a bit too much with Tatum, so we are trying to calm him down. At one point, Tatum just got tired of his antics and walked to her bookshelf. She proceeded to bring me a book. Actually, it was a children’s Bible with colorful pictures. She handed me the book then plopped down between my legs. We read about Noah’s ark and she pointed out the elephants, sheep and lions. After reading, I asked her to return the book, please. She gladly put it back on the shelf and brought me another. I was in awe of her responsibility with returning the book to its proper place. Gleefully, I pronounced, “Thank you!” and clapped. (she repeated thank you).

What a gal. What an amazing little bundle of joy.

April 28, 2014April 29, 2014

Reunited

and it feels SOOOOO good. Speeding and breaking multiple laws, I drove like a demon home to Tatum. We landed at 7:05 pm, and I knew she was probably in bed, but it did not matter. I was going to wake her up and embrace her. Being away from Taters for 6 days was more than a mommy can stand! However, coming back, I realized how much she has changed my life.

More importantly, having my mother to help me, I am keenly aware of how blessed I am. Tatum did not miss a beat with the love that surrounded her (and that is from all sides). My friends contacted my mom while I was away and offered to help, and for that I am ultimately thankful! Now, I can embrace her even tighter each day knowing that she is surrounded by love in all directions.

April 21, 2014April 27, 2014

One week in a lifetime

When I calculate it in my heart, it feels like forever; like it will change everything. Logically, I know it’s a blip in the timeline of our lives together. Much of the emotional challenge is my need to be needed/loved/wanted. This, inherently I know, is unhealthy.

Adaptability, sure..she can be a super-chameleon and this is a goal of good parenting. Do I want a clingy child whose world revolves around mommy? Selfishly and in the moment, I do! But play it out as the root of a healthy person, and it is uber-antithetical to all that makes a solid human being, God-loving and people-focused.

Raising Tatum is currently my world and I owe her a healthy mommy. Her development must include the part where she loves others and those who surround her and that not just being her mommy. Love is not a pie! It is limitless and there is always room for the love “pie” to expand into a larger and larger pie. The bigger the pie, the larger the ability to love and the larger the love one gives and can thus receive.

This is a growing experience for both of us; to appreciate and savor the moments we have together.

April 18, 2014

Put it to rest

A death is putting something to rest.

GOOD Friday. What makes it GOOD? Something good cannot be a death, and especially Jesus’ death which was horrific and gruesome. However, can something that is such be made right? Be made good?

Understanding good means we need to first understand the opposite: Our condition. I only need to think of my heart as not always pure to understand my fallen nature. Raising a daughter from birth helps me see the power of our sin in a baby. The beautiful is not always perfect, and no human is. Proving our hopeless condition, the law pointed out how impossible it was to achieve perfection.

Sin cannot live in God and He cannot justify it without a sacrifice. Who would be the sacrificed? Who would be big enough to take this on? How could he make it right with us once and for all? Good Friday HAD to happen in order for the beauty of justice and LIFE to occur. Forgiveness. Salvation….all coming from the CROSS: Psalm 85:10 praises the moment when “righteousness and peace” will “kiss each other.” God’s justice (Good Friday) intersected and crossed with his love and mercy (Easter).

Ignorantly, we don’t comprehend how God created us to have free will to make poor decisions; ones that allow us to then sin. But, little did we know that he had a plan of redemption. He knew that there would be suffering, and as we question it and shake our fist at it and Him, He has omnipotent knowledge of the GOOD. His plan will reunite us back to him and forgive this ultimate sin of separation, but also the grace to proceed after we continue to mess up.

C.S. Lewis even writes about God creating us as His own “parasites” and he is allowing us to “take advantage of Him.” But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8-9, NIV). He died so we could live back with Him for now (in this fallen difficult world) and in eternity. That is truly love.

So what? So what!? What does it all meant today and tomorrow when I wake up and go about my day? Gratitude. Peace, right? Can I now rest in the hope of tomorrow and the knowledge of how much LOVE there is for me and for others (when I don’t “feel” it) in today? That is the significance.

Finally, an empty life is what I had for years although it seemed meaningful with work and relationships. However, focusing on those things, it was found to be futile and a dark hole. In John 6:35, Jesus said, ‘I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst’.

Find the “it” and Put it to rest. He has it in His hands and lifts it from ours.

May it be a “Good” Godly Friday.