Mothering is like farming. You plant seeds, water, fertilize and then wait. Ideally, you see flowers along the journey to the ultimate crop of bright colorful vegetables, but sometimes it just feels, well, like you are running out of water. The enjoyment of being around Tatum trumps anything I may be missing out on, but the sheer fact that she is testing the boundaries keeps me on my toes. It also challenges my emotions because if you are not careful, you can take it personally!
Knowing it may have been too cold, and Tatum was a bit tired, I still decided to take her to the train park after her nap. The whole time, she kept me on my toes with running another way, not following directions, and just plain whining and complaining. What made it worse was that I was not planning on taking her on the choo-choo, but to my surprise, I found $10 in my fleece pullover which I had not worn in two years. Love when that happens! So, I said she could pick between that and the up and down. The up and down was more suited to the theme of this park experience, but she chose the choo-choo. Sadly she did not want me to touch or hold her the whole time. Then when we got off, she whined about leaving even though I had told her that we were headed home.
That evening, she had her dinner, we read a few books with more struggle and then when I put her down, it all came apparent to what was going on. She was EXHAUSTED. This was no excuse, but it definitely made me realize how ornery we can be when we are so tired. She will continue to learn that kindness still must be pursued no matter how you feel.
Modeling kindness can come in many forms; and this season, we are doing BLESSING BAGS. Perhaps Tatum can sense that the world is not only about her needs being met immediately. My Mimi Blossom cookies fill the bags, and we take a couple with us every day. Then, when prompted by HIS VOICE to just give one away to someone, we do, spontaneously.