Hay Happens and Hay's Happen

It’s difficult to not take things personally; to remain objective and unaffected by ranging emotions that come at you as a mom. Of course, I analyze the why instead of just accepting what is at the moment and going with it. I try to figure out what have I done? Well, honestly, we moms do the best we can at the moment and then we analyze it later. There is no “BEST” and there is no “PERFECT.” All we have is the wisdom granted to us by God and through experience. Problem is I have NONE…so I analyze. and. analyze. and. analyze. Tired.

Tatum and I started the week at the park in North Scottsdale with the other moms. Cold as it was, Tatum and I nestled on the blanket while Jennie sneaked a picture of us. I ate up this moment with Tot because for three days, she did not want me to hold her or touch her. The minute I’d want her her she’d run the other way. What is that!? She was truly exerting herself and the word “nice” was not resonating. I found myself picking her up countless times during the day to have a lil’ chat.
She even wanted to read by herself on the rocking chair.

A phase. A phase of “Mom, I got this. I don’t need you right now.” OK, so I give her the space. Then, three days later, I get a clingy Tatum. She wants me to hold her, hug her, kiss her, sit by her…BE WITH HER.

It was then that it hit me. Tatum is becoming her own person, and she does not know how to express this quite yet except to exert herself.

I accept that, but teaching her to be kind in the process is what is vital. When I pick her up from running off, I whisper that she is such a big girl to get to run and play, but it’s mommy’s turn to choose what we are doing or where we are going. I love how confident and independent she is, but I also love that she always peeks to see if I’m watching or present. I am. I truly am.  

This two year old phase may seem “terrible” to some, but to me, it’s an opportunity to teach her to be confident in herself, but to do it with grace and not emotional breakdowns. Sadness, madness, frustration, anger……all completely OK and important to feel. But HOW it is acted out is what needs to be tempered. Whining and..well, whining more, is NOT acceptable. In fact, my ears go deaf and she know she can re-“tune” her words to me!

Just the other day, she laid down and had a wee-tantrum at the library class. When she appeared to be done, I went up to her and said, “Are you finished?” She looked at me with confidence and said, “Yes.” We then thanked Ms. Allison, gave hugs, and she was fine the rest of the morning.

One day at a time…working through the emotions.

Tonight I was reading The Christmas Star to Tatum with passion! The coming of Jesus and his birth on Christmas was being celebrated in the book as the shepherds, wise men and all followed the start to the stable. She was getting so into it with me, but not as I expected. When we got to the last page of the book and Jesus was in the manger, she pointed to the figure on the right of Him. My heart become all a flutter as I figured she was pointing to Baby Jesus.  She said, “Hat!” Huh??? Yes, next to Jesus on the tippy right side of the page, some stable guy was wearing a hat. “Yes, Tatum, that man does have a hat on.” It must have been some hat! So much for my deep thoughts.

 

At 6:30 sharp, the tree would be lit, Santa would arrive on the train, and we would board! Well, we hoped so. The line was longer than three parks. So, we decided to take a few pictures.
The up and down had to be in the mix while our dear friends waited in line. 

Finally, Santa arrived. As he descended from the train with his elves, Tatum waved like crazy! “HI Santa! HI Santa!” Tigger (yes, Tigger!), Pooh and some giant mouse followed after the elves which made Tot extremely confused but happy. Why are Pooh and Tiger hanging out with Santa? Oh well…”Hi Tigger!”

We boarded and selfied.
Hooray! Janette, Levi, Lori and Avery all enjoyed the light show on OPENING NIGHT. Thank goodness it was not too cold. 🙂

 

How can I make meaning out of Christmas?
One day at a time!

Of course, she has seen the Christmas trees, Santa Claus, the decorations all over the city, but how can I get her to see the real reason? 

I decided to introduce her to the Nativity scene one piece at at time with the book, Christmas in the Manger.

Each page introduces a character at a time, so I figured I’d follow suit with the Little People Nativity scene.

The first day, I introduced to the donkeys. I have not shown her any other piece, promising her baby Jesus will be born pretty soon!

The next day, I introduced the sheep. Each morning, she looks forward to what is next. So do I, actually! We are making it fun, and this is what she can enjoy about the reason for the season: Jesus coming to be celebrated at Christmas time! Happy Birthday is coming.

 

 

 

When you look at that adorable Christmas picture, you don’t see the hoops and tricks you had to perform to get that pose just right.

A plethora of dog cookies, doggie finger puppet, a lighted Santa Claus rubber ornament….about 15 shots. 10 seconds to get it just right. Tatum was perfect and needed little coaxing because she was too interested in getting the Coti to sit still.

Ironically, our practice shot was the best one.

 

When is that? The minute I walk into my room for the evening, I feel like I’m hitting the classroom. My safe haven…my learning time…my soaking it all in time.

First, I always take a piece of dark chocolate with me and then I lay in my bed with my Bible devotion. This is the beginning of “soak-it-all-in” time. What does HE say? Encouragement and Reflection. Take a bite. Now, what book will it be tonight?

I happened to spread all of the parenting books on the floor tonight to just review how much I have really “studied.” The beauty about “soak-it-all-in” time is that you can soak it in, but you can also squeeze the unneeded or unwanted out. Ok..take a bite.

I have my favorites. In fact, in each book, I have many pearls which I have saved, used, failed at, and tried again. The key is to keep trying new things. There is nothing new under the sun; only new approaches to common problems/challenges. 

Currently, I’m reading THE PASSIONATE MOM but Susan Merrill. So far so good. Take another bite.

These books are like dark chocolate. They are rich, sometimes too sweet, necessary and can give you a tummy ache if you over-indulge. Advice can only go so far. Every child is different, and if I try something and it does not work, it does not mean I failed; it just means I need a different approach. (also, if I do fail, I try again tomorrow with a positive attitude, lots of grace and prayer).

I love this time of night. Time to soak it in and pray for wisdom….

And the dark chocolate doesn’t hurt. 🙂

Today, I had a hair appointment with my dear friend Kristen. She is truly a magician with scissors although I never style my hair as the cut would demand! Tatum ended up coming with me, and I thought she could just sit and watch me. (ha?..perhaps??)

It ended up that she did watch me, but….. While Kristen shampooed me, she sat on my lap, and then while I was being scissored, she sat facing me. Well, sat is a bit of an exaggeration. She sat then wanted down. Then wanted up then down. Eventually, I had her find me a train in the Travel Magazine which lasted a good 3 minutes. No train. But many card stock inserts for her to pull out.

Finally, I asked Kristen about when to cut Tot’s hair. She mentioned that she could just trim up the random long hairs and straighten it up a bit. For $5? Sure! Would Tot sit still and be brave? Of course!
The key, I suppose, was watching me do it first; she does love to watch me do my hair, and loves to pretend to do hers. The first cut! WOW!!

Thankful for a non-wiggler when scissors are near!:-)