Wanting to Obey



Is it possible to get your kid to WANT to obey? I’m on a quest to find out.

Reading this blog has given me many insights:
http://store.notconsumed.com/2014/05/30/teaching-children-to-want-to-obey/

The author, Kim Sorgius, says, “As I continue to watch more and more kids rebelling against rules and parental authority, I notice one big missing link: the why behind obedience. I see it in adults, as well. Let’s take speeding for example. Do we stay under the speed limit out of willful submission? Or do we slam on the breaks when we see the cop car over the horizon? Do we obey the law because it’s right? Or just to stay out of trouble?”
She makes three points:
1. Obedience shows that you believe.

2. Obedience shows love.

3. Obedience is a witness to others.

What kind of person do you want to be? Do you want to be a witness for love or a witness for rebellion? “It’s important to me that they understand that every single choice they make is influential in the life of those around them.” I love how she says: “When we disobey God, parents, and/or authority, we are either influencing a Christian in a negative way or showing a non-Christian that we don’t take God very seriously. Either one isn’t what we are aiming for as God’s children.”

 

Gosh it’s hard. It’s hard for me as an adult, but how do we teach the HOW? She notes that that is the  second step. “Little children do not even have the power to obey. They will always fail. It’s through salvation in Christ that we get the power to obey. (1 peter 1:3)” Yes, we will fail, but instead of getting flustered, we have to ask for the Spirit to work in us to guide us. She has her kids pray prayers like, “God help me to obey when I get mad” or “God help me to listen to your voice when I’m heading down the wrong path.”

Such strong words of advice for bringing up Tatum, and gosh, helping me be a better follower of Christ. I mess up daily, and need to be reminded that I need His help. I can only model this for Tatum as I fail too. It’s in Him that we have success in this life.IMG_6687

 

 

Tot School and Treasuring

Have you ever gone to the mailbox, grabbed your mail, and noticed it was just a bunch of junk or bills? The same stuff every day. Bills and fliers.
Well, not today! One of the fliers/notecards in the mailbox was actually a check for $1.89 from a settlement from Dreamfields Pasta. Now, I had to remember how I would even get such a check but at one point I did by some black bean pasta from this tiny company, and I guess some type of lawsuit must have occurred because now I have this buck 89 in my mailbox! Eating alternative pasta pays off.

The second envelope was from my insurance company. Great…another bill. Nope! It was a check for $14.44 due to overpayment. Love when that happens!

All this to say, I am thankful. I’m thankful for junk mail and bills because sometimes tuckered away inside all of them is a little treasure.

This is like LIFE. There is muck and mire. Problems and challenges. Junk and bills. Frustrations and foibles. In the midst of it all are treasures of flowers, opportunities, and joys.

Today, I watched Tatum attempt to ride her tricycle and I started to weep inside. I somehow have missed her growing up so fast! Has it just flown by? I need to treasure it more! Treasure the teeny moments in the day when I notice a new curl on her head

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Or the roses that blossom in the front yard, that SHE notices! (because I was too focused on getting in the house or a task completed)

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Now what I am noticing is how she is growing in her ability to just be a little student. She decided to write her name on her Tot Notebook but first she needed to color the treeIMG_6682 IMG_6685
M today became the focus because she just needed to be a monkey all morning. I attempted to model how to draw the M..Up down, up down..I can do it myself!
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IMG_6676Treasured that statement as I know she sure wants to, and I want her to be independent! But I kinda don’t… (:-( )

Onto shapes, and she insisted she would do the oval, circle and triangle.

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Tot school is pretty forgiving because she is gaining confidence in being successful with her writing tools. Within the day of a bit of crying and whining, there is much treasure to be found. And Tatum? Sure she cries a bit too! (:-). But more importantly, it’s so easy to get flustered with the little moments of outbursts or frustrations.

It’s all about focus.

Treasuring every single minute of every single day.

 

Besties

Tot cannot be away from the little guy. He of course is asking for space.

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Today, she chased him around with the leash and said, “Let’s go for a walk, Coti.” He continued to give me that look. Mom, can you do something about this?

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Since that attempt failed miserably, she figured she’d read to him. He again needed his space, so…

IMG_6664She hopped up on the chair and he laid there just listening.

Besties. It’s a love/hate relationship.

 

Reading Between the Lines

I was never a reader.

It wasn’t until I got into graduate school, that I realized the joy of reading. Not the reading of textbooks, but the opportunity to escape with a good book. I also found that I could learn a whole heck of a lot with the knowledge from OTHER people besides my peers and teachers. There was a whole world out there to explore and discover, and it could be done in books.

Next, I heard this. “Readers are Leaders.” It has been noted that business giants are avid readers. According to a Harvard Business Review article, Steve Jobs, Phil Knight (Nike), Winston Churchill were all avid readers. Also, business leaders believe that “deep, broad reading cultivated in them the knowledge, habits, and talents to improve their organizations.” This article also discussed that getting yourself in the books makes you more intelligent through “a larger vocabulary and more world knowledge in addition to the abstract reasoning skills.” ( https://hbr.org/2012/08/for-those-who-want-to-lead-rea/) This jives with my anecdotal experience.

So, what does this have to do with Tatum?

My original intent on having her read was a bonding experience. It gave me a chance to get to cuddle with her at night and share a story, even if it was for 5 minutes which was the best I could hope for at one. She couldn’t sit still and hated to cuddle. Now, at 2 and 1/2, she cuddles up to me many times a day, and we share a book.

My goals with her now are not only bonding time, but an opportunity to teach some character skills, or to share a laugh, to learn a thing or two, or just to enjoy the use of imagination without any need for electronic stimulation.

She now enjoys sitting and reading on her own, and often, reading to me!

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I decided to look at the books we are recently enjoying. She often comments that she needs more room for her books! I tend to buy books more than I buy milk, and it is getting a bit out of hand. Thank goodness for used book stores and Goodwill!

We always start the day with Day to Day which is a daily devotion. She then sometimes pulls out another book of prayers. At night, there is a blessing book we read as well.

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No two days are alike, and whenever possible, she is pulling out a book, or I am finding one to share with her.

For a little silliness and sing-songy humor, Boynton takes the prize.

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Mo Willems makes me laugh louder than Tatum! Great lessons and lovable characters that Gerald and Piggie!IMG_6617

Of course, these board books are favorites. Board books are a great start for any child until they understand NOT to tear the pages. This takes training! It’s also easier on their little fingers. 
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The Jesus books are so much fun, and she has internalized Jesus being in her heart. Debby Anderson does such a fine job with the rhythm in these for memory.IMG_6608


Wishing and Waiting. Patiently.
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Two more great travel favorites. One with a strong message about perseverance, and one that just teaches them about traveling!

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And then there came Thomas. Need I say more? If you have an 18-36 month old….just get to know him. What a fine character with a spectacular vocabulary. 
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And luckily next door we have a train park which we can learn about!

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That brings me to Elmo. Yep, he has books. Many many books which teach lessons and for some reason, SHE LOVES HIM! We barely even watch the show, but that little red monster makes her laugh.

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ABC. 123. Gotta have these!

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More funny and more silly, and there is an actual plot in each… Dr. Seuss and Eastman.

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Classics. That Little Red Caboose gets my vote for hero. And…don’t run away or the fox will eat you. (good advice for that Gingerbread Boy) I tend to remind her of this when we are in the store. 
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Bob, Larry and the other Veggies make learning about God fun..and how to be kind! IMG_6614Just love these little books to cuddle with:
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Then where…oh where is the…..!? Engage her in the book!
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It’s Clifford..Clifford. Lovable and adorable. Teaches excellent lessons while being one big goofy dog. IMG_6624Thomas, Elmo, Clifford, and yes…add Minnie Mouse. Her fascination comes from ??? Clueless. 
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Now, add a huggable little bear named Pooh, an adventurous little girl named Dora and her friend Boots, and you’ve got some great plots, strong character lessons, and imagination fodder!

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Want to add more silly? These books take a pig, a dog, a mouse, or a moose, and personifies them in the most fun way!IMG_6627Being responsible, sharing, appreciating differences, being kind, and doing your dishes after you eat, and of course being careful about what you take that is not yours…these are all nice lessons to read about.
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Tatum will soon see that she is MORE special because she was prayed for and wanted.
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And so we cuddle up more at night with these bedtime favorites. 
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Truly picture books are not only beautiful, they have great plots and wonderful lessons. Many of these stories are about being grateful of who God made you to be. 
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And more about being thankful along with how wonderful it is to read…especially on Mommy’s lap!IMG_6647
Tot can tote books too! 
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Or just read a magazine and find the hidden pictures. Sitting in the dentist office, I used to love these magazines because they had great stories, puzzles and games. IMG_6654

 I love this quote from Charlie Munger: “In my whole life, I have known no wise people who didn’t read all the time – none, zero. You’d be amazed at how much Warren(Buffett) reads – at how much I read. My children laugh at me. They think I’m a book with a couple of legs sticking out”. (http://www.georgeambler.com/leaders-need-daily-reading-habit/)

Tatum has the world at her feet, and her opportunities can be endless; all I can do is give her this potential (by developing her love of reading), love her unconditionally, and …….love her even more!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making Memories on Memorial Day

Memorial Day with Mama, Mommy and Tot. We started with Musicology as Mama watched. It was a small, but lively class today..

Bells are ringing, I can hear them singing; bells are ringing it’s time to gather round…
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Can you hear them shaking high? Can you hear them shaking low? Shaking high!! Shaking low!! Oh Oh Oh Oh…Bells are ringing..IMG_3431

Flies in the sugar bowl, shoo fly shoo!
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Put that toe in…and polka!
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Bing Crosby Hopscotch Polka!
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Discovering new instruments and shaking, hitting, tapping…
IMG_3447 IMG_3451 IMG_3458Then…if you want a music stamp, sit with Mary!

IMG_3468 Done. Now, where are those babies!?IMG_3470

Can’t leave Musicology without a stop at Rocket Fizz and a ride on the train. Do you know this store sells Tart and Tinys? (so my candy when I was a TOT!)sd2428-tart-n-tinys-candy-3-pack-three-15-oz-tart-and-tiny-80s-favorite-w-new-blue-4

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Lunch was at Nordstroms, so this meant we had to take the moving mountain up three flights. She had only seen an escalator in Courdoroy where he escapes to the “palace” on the 2nd floor. She found this to be like a new ride. OK, I’ll take it! And it’s free; gotta love that one.
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Lunch. Big girl fork. Big girl booster, and Big girl food. Not Big girl coffee.

IMG_3493Thanks MAMA for a great day! 🙂 WE will always REMEMBER on this MEMORIAL DAY 2015.

And we shall never forget the heroes who fought and stood for our country. God Bless America.

 

Love Abounds on THIS Day

Every day after we eat, Tatum likes to sit on Coti’s place and cuddle with Coti and me. Today, she decided to cuddle just with Coti. However, Coti is a bit confused. Where is Tatum’s head?
IMG_6601 IMG_6602 IMG_6603She happened upon the hat that she had on when she was born; it was in a box under her bed, and it fascinated her. Actually all of her baby things thrill her lately. (Note the monkey socks) Ironically, when she was a baby, she removed anything from her feet. Now? All the time. Socks..socks..socks. Baby ones of course.
The hat she found is so appropriate for today, because it was 2.5 years yesterday she entered this world and TWO years TODAY that she became officially my Tot.

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This little Tot had her teeny head covered with this striped cap. Now? Tatum’s brain is maturing into reading stories of rainbows,
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This wondrous child continues to keep me in AWE.

Chugging along

When the number on the chronological time line of my life counts up one, I tend to get reflective. In fact, I ponder what my life has added up to in these 36  years.

I would say it’s chugging along quite nicely. Tatum discovered this choo-choo in front of this vintage store by her music class. It’s now a necessary stopping point. This day, in particular, she made a great discovery. When she pushed the button, the train started to move and whistle.
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It was then that she perked up and started to really steer the engine. How did she miss this button before? And, what if she had missed it all along?

She would have stayed still.

Idle.

Silent.

But no, she reached for the button and pressed it on faith that it would awaken the choo-choo and liven up her life.

Until Tatum came along, I was moving very fast. In fact, I was moving so fast, I never stood still long enough to hear God’s voice. But, for some reason, Tatum has given me the opportunity to get back on the train and push that button. However, this time, I’m not moving fast, I’m enjoying the ride.

This ride I’m on now is giving me new opportunities. For one, to be a parent. Not just a mommy, but a  parent who is guiding her child into the wisdom of life. What she does in return is teach me to take it slower and enjoy the ride. It does not last long.

Next, this ride is giving me flexibility to be in the career I love without the tight strings. Teaching and working within the educational world gives me energy! I can still make a difference but in a new way: empowering, encouraging, and educating teachers. What a blessing.

Finally, this ride is given me a chance to grow in being the woman God wants me to be.
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This little Tot of mine; I’m going to let her SHINE!