A repentant heart

For some reason, I’m struck by the Lance Armstrong story.

Lance has broken records in not only cycling but in beating odds overcoming cancer. He’s started a foundation to help others, inspiring them with his story. But, now he has decided to come clean. He’s decided to admit he has lied all these years and has been doping during all those seven years of winning.


So, why now? What are his motives? Is it our right to question his motives? Why do I even care?

What concerns me is the message he sends to the kids watching his career. However, lest we forget the beauty of confession? There is a need for confession and repentance for all of us and we know according to Romans, that we “have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We all know that when we ask for forgiveness with a truly repentant heart, it is freely given to us by the grace of God through the blood of Christ.”

I can sit here and question his motives, judge him for his immorality, doubt his heart, but really….it’s between him and God. If he truly has a deeply contrite heart, then he is forgiven. Whether we the people forgive him, is another story. Maybe the bigger issue is propping him up as a role model in the first place. As a parent, I must be careful on who I allow my child to worship. My hope is that she would love Jesus with all of her heart and follow Him as her example. Furthermore, I want to be her example in how I live my life.

Yes, I’m going to sin. However, and this is crucial…my sins, large or small, should grieve me enough to desire never to repeat them. I go to God regularly, willingly asking Him to examine my heart and “see if there is any offensive way in me” (Psalm 139:23). John Allan Lavendar said, “Before you pray for a change in circumstances, you should pray for a change in character.” Tatum will watch me and hopefully see MY heart.

As for Lance? God only knows if his confession is real. God only knows if he will repent and truly have a change of character.

Butternut Squash Protein Bread


One of the frustrations of being gluten-free is the loss of bread! I used to eat bagels like they were being eliminated from the earth the following day. I miss them. Gluten free bagels don’t cut it for me either.

I have decided to start experimenting with different ways to use SQUASH! I love this sweet treat. It’s the easiest thing to make, and it tastes like candy. When pureed, it can be used as a substitute for the butter in many muffin recipes.

Here is my stab at protein + squash…baked!
1. Cut the squash and bake for about 30-45 minutesSlice up and eat a few pieces!
2. Add about 2 cups + 2 egg whites to the blender…blend until pureed.

3.  Add the puree to a bowl with a scoop of protein powder, a T of Chia seeds, a tsp of baking soda and a tsp of baking powder.

Now stir and put into a baking pan. Bake at 350 for about 30-40 minutes.

Remove from oven, slice up and enjoy! I like to put almond butter on mine. 🙂


Spots and Smiles

Sunday was a breakthrough day.

My dear friend Denise came over to visit Tatum and me. Tatum had just spent the morning fussing at Walmart in the customer service line. (Actually all of us standing in the customer service line were fussing internally, so Tatum was spot on.) I noticed when Denise cradled her in her arms, Tatum tracked with Denise’s eyes! She even seemed to say “Hi” with her cooing. I have been waiting for this magic day when Tatum would SEE me. Later on during the day, as alert as a nightwatchman, she smiled and cooed AT me, not just randomly. I think our relationship is gelling.

It makes me feel so honored when I can connect with her on this emotional level….our eyes deeply meeting and saying, “I love you with all my heart.”

Sunday also taught me that SOY is NOT the answer.  Her little system is experiencing MORE constipation even with the laxative for which she was prescribed. Darn! She turns BEET RED as she pushes and pushes upon eating. Then, I noticed her checks were filled with spots and looked like a big bout of acne.

My mother and many researched blogs agreed…it’s the soy. OK! So, no to the milk; no to the soy. What is left? Enter Nutrimagen. This hypoallergenic formula promises to soothe her tummy and be the answer for her allergies. Really? Man, I hope so! I ran to Walgreen’s (AGAIN!), gasped at the price (it’s twice the cost of the others), prayed for this to be the “IT!” and ran home to feed her again.

Stay tuned.



My dog’s name should be Cotrero

Apparently my little Coti is Mexican. I have been trying to get Coti to CEASE from jumping on the table after I finish my dinner. He is pretty sneaky as he jumps up and steals a piece of .. ____ fill in the blank. My aunt told me to sprinkle cayenne pepper on the table and that should do the trick. So, I set him up (mooohhaaawww haaa). It just happened that I was eating tacos with savory ground beef. In a small ramican I scooped a bit of the beef and covered it with cayenne. As I did this, I felt sad for Coti’s tongue! When I was a child, cayenne was my mother’s weapon of choice if a bad word slipped from my mouth….aaahhh memories! So, hey, I’m passing down a great tradition to my little white friend.

I placed the red hot fire bowl on the table as I quietly stepped out of the room. As I peaked inside, Coti jumped on the chair and proceeded to slurp up the mixture, licking every morsel and flake! I wait…OK..nothing yet. So, I put water in his bowl anticipating him to need a gallon or so. Nothing. What is up with this dog? He liked it!? What is he, Mikey? He DOES eat anything. Ole! hmph.