Hay Happens and Hay's Happen

Tatum has been BBBBBBF (best best best….friends) with Charlotte since last year. They were inseparable.

This year, Tatum gets into the car daily with a little story of how Charlotte ignored her or didn’t want to play with her. For example, they play kickball daily, and today, Charlotte told Tatum to go on the other team. Then the other team said they didn’t want her on their team but to go back to Charlotte’s team. She ended up leaving the game because she felt not wanted. Charlotte really hurt her feelings. This isn’t new. It happens daily. Tatum is never mean back. In fact, she asked Charlotte if they were still best friends.

Well, this just breaks MY HEART as I hear these things. I know there are two sides, but I did witness Charlotte ignoring Tatum when she excitedly approached her in the morning. Ugh….girl drama is starting, and I cannot protect her from it. Oh, that her heart would never be hurt or wrinkled. However, this will help her to grow. Her sensitive heart is so much like mine! It’s a blessing and a curse to have such a sensitive heart. (You get hurt a lot, but how can I teach her that it might not be personal or that this might not be a real friend?)

In the car, I tried not to lecture about friendships. I just empathized. I did say, however, that a real friend is a friend at all times. (Tatum had shared that during the day, Charlotte will be her best friend, and then ignore her the rest; it’s like a friendship built on sand, not rock) Tatum, maybe give her space?

THEN IT HAPPENED> She said, “Mommy, on Monday, I’m going to come up with a game and see if anyone wants to play.” SHE IS BEING A LEADER AND NOT LETTING THE HEARTBREAK CONTROL HER.

She brainstormed the game and came up with Simon Says Get your Wiggles Out.

That night, Daddy had the idea that she have a prop of some sort to make it fun. Tatum thought a remote or a phone would be fun. The one who is “IT” would have to hold the device and use it for leading the group. So I provided the cardboard, and she got to work.

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How cute!!!

Ok, then we practiced. I encouraged her not to tell the kids that she was in charge. Allow others to be “IT,” and don’t be the boss of everyone. Make it fun for everyone.

So she practiced how she would get the kids to play and then we practiced.

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Cooper did great following the Simon Says prompts.

Tatum, you are learning so much. Humans are human, and sometimes you’ll get hurt. Just don’t be mean back. EVER!! Think how Jesus would respond; continue being YOU and don’t let anyone steal your spirit. Just YOU be a good friend, and I promise the friends you make will respect you and will be friends back. I love you and am so proud of you.

What gets you out of your seat? What motivates you to tap your feet? If you don’t do these things while watching Singin’ in the Rain, then you don’t have a pulse. Really.

Even Cooper was taken aback by all the excitement. He was glued!

What happened next will make you want to dance!
Daddy and Tot inspiringly arose and couldn’t help themselves.

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I think Cooper wished he was twirling as well. We had so much fun watching Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds. They were so light on their feet, and they sang like angelic beings.

Thank you, family, for making it a party!

He had that look. A bit of crying this morning, but lots of chewing. Then, Tatum noticed he had some blood on his fur. What???? Oh!!! She found the culprit.

His baby fang? I didn’t know fangs could be so cute.

Good thing today was his big grooming day! His first one. He would visit Leti at Applewood; she is the one who does Coti, so she knows the drill.

He rode with me in the car looking as cute and disheveled as ever.

Oh, Cooper. He saw Leti and was not scared at all.

Then when I picked him up…..HE LOOKED……..

Fluffy and so happy!

We love you little fluff ball. Now grow some real fangs! GRRRRRRRR…..

Was near close to the best day of my life and would change my life forever.

It was seven years ago that a phone call came to me from Dr. Kaufman. He would tell me about an unborn baby and then introduce me to the birth mom. The birth mom chose me to be the mommy, and exactly three months later, I was in the birthing room holding my brand new daughter; a gift from God.

I surprised Tatum when she got home with a little card. We are going to celebrate next week, but I wanted to recognize the day!

She was my sweet baby. (and still is).

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We had a little ice cream to celebrate.

Not a day goes by that I don’t tell her how much I love and treasure her.

Stay tuned for the real celebration next week.

She was the FIRST person in her FIRST grade class to take the FIRST A/R test. To be able to do this, she had to have passed all of her site words. She did this back in Kindergarten in February..

but they still tested her this first week.

She came home and read me the book. The First Day of School. I’m seeing a FIRST theme here.

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The book was so close to she and Cooper having to say goodbye for the first day of school. (the boy in the book had a new puppy, Cookie).

Welllllllll, the next day, Mrs. Finnman stopped me in the parking lot to tell me Tatum had good news.

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She was the ONLY one to pass in her class of 17.

WOW! She came home with a new book and can’t wait to get started.

I was the FIRST to give her the biggest hug and kiss.

So proud of you and your brain. (This is secondary to your beautiful heart, my sweet).

It was a typical Saturday morning. Tatum and I always do a craft, and this one would be for Tom. Tom works for Monty (who is our contractor). A couple months ago, Tom broke his hip and we thought that might be it for him for a while. Well, he’s back at work! Tatum wanted to make him a card. Daddy, Monty and Tom are all holding up wood and building. (Tom is on the ladder wearing his colorful tool belt). I love how she planned it out and encouraged Tom with this complimentary card.

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Well, after all of this fun, Cooper was playing and ran up behind Tatum. She slipped and fell on top of his paw. He continuously YELPED so loud and I grabbed him to feel his paw. It was literally dangling at the tendon. I thought it had ripped. Tatum was devastated with guilt even though it was an accident. I tried to hold my cool, but I was shaking and crying. Immediately, I found an emergency vet and headed over with the little guy. Daddy met us there.

On the way there, I prayed prayed prayed. Tatum and I both prayed for a miracle and a healing.

When we got there, they took him back for a check and then we met with the Dr. He said Cooper did not seem to be in pain when he felt around his paw and tendon area. He only was limping a bit. We took him home and I kid you not; within a couple of hours, he was back to his old self, running, playing, romping. HUH!!???? Was it truly a miracle? I believe so.

He did not want us to go the pool, however. He needed some TLC as he was so tired. He just laid on our towels. Don’t go!!

We did end up going and later that night, the HAY family served at UMOM through Matthew 25. We prayed with many homeless families and we served them as Jesus would. I believe God wanted us to be there, and therefore, He made sure Cooper would be fine. MIRACLE.

Later that night, Coopy was so relaxed. He just laid in my arms.

We love you SO MUCH COOPY!!!!

Getting married and forming a family means that there are going to be growing pains. I remember when I was in sales, we would discuss group dynamics. The stages really do make sense: form, storm, norm, perform.

It has been a new experience for all of us, but since Tatum is a young’n, she is learning from scratch. WE are all FORMING.

Maybe that’s better because she doesn’t have past triggers which may be set off. Her ability to have self-control has been challenging. STORMING is happening at times. For example, she has a tendency to tell Daddy what to do or tell him “No, that’s not right.” This is just direct disrespect and dishonoring. Also, she can have highly emotional feelings which then escalate and cause her to say things like “Go away.” This just produces wrinkled hearts and then sadness all around. She feels extremely guilty immediately, and she does apologize, but the sting stays.

Sometimes it feels like heads are coming off and frustration sets in for all of us.

She wanted to ask Daddy for more date nights, so she asked him to sit face to face so she could present her invitation. Having a relationship foundation is so key to forming and norming. Besides you are more likely to care what one knows if you know how much one cares.

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He immediately agreed and was excited. NORMING HAPPENING!

Then, at our Hay Happens Family meeting that night, we are trying to NORM some more with strategies for self-control. Remember the motor oil STP?

It makes things run smoother. So does being quick to listen and slow to speak. First time asked must be accomplished as well. None of this is new for Tot, but we need some reminders.

I love this process. It’s messy and sometimes painful, but after a storm, FLOWERS BLOOM. This is the part where the HAY family will PERFORM! Perhaps it’s two steps forward and one step back. Just so we are moving forward.

We may not always agree, but teams can only grow through conflict and then SOLVING IT through talking and praying. Gosh and we do!

Tatum is embracing the growth, the challenges, and she is LOVING being Tatum Hay. It won’t be official until next year, but right now, the HAY family thrives in love:
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor 13:13)