I’m a fuddy duddy

Ok, so I think I’m getting officially old; perhaps it’s because I am a mother now, or perhaps it’s because I teach kids. Yesterday, the Super Bowl half time show was less than appealing. What has happened to our society? Why is it that entertainment these days has to push the sexual envelope?

I know that the Super Bowl has viewers who are KIDS. Do they need to see scantily clad woman gyrating their hips and (oh, were they singing? I don’t think people noticed that part.)

Dennis Prager talked about the degradation of the arts, and it’s not just in the movies. I worry about the values which are being communicated to our kids.

Coti needs some lovin’

It must be hard for the little guy. He’s become second fiddle, and he is not taking it well.

“Hey, what about me!?”

It has been a little over two months now, and although he likes Tater Tot, he does EVERYTHING to get my attention. Sadly, it’s not always so positive. Isn’t that just like our little kiddos….they really want the world to revolve around THEM. He just loved being my first love, and now? He still is my FIRST, but he can’t be FIRST! His patience may be slightly growing and so are his ideas. For example, the other day, my mom was reading the newspaper, and he figured that if he jumps on top of the pile, we will notice him!

Eventually, he gave up and assumed his famous “bear rug” pose.

Ok, Coti, I get the message! We will play some ball!
But please always remember: YOU are my darling little Cotster, and you and Tatum will be a superb combination! Now stay cute, and BEHAVE! 🙂

Returning to work

It’s around the corner! I can’t believe I’ll be going back to work in three weeks. I signed Tatum up today at Temple Chai and found myself weeping. “We’ll send many pictures,” was what they promise but for some reason this is no consolation. How is this helping me bond with my child? “We’ll have a picture of you on the wall so Tatum can see you.” Again…not helping! “Oh this is normal…all new moms go through this.” Sheesh..stop! I am not assured that leaving my child in the hands of other people is endearing my child to ME!

Now, she will get cuddled, fed, changed, and rested…all in the hands of someone else. This is definitely reassuring. However, I’m finding that my priorities are changing and my ambition level is cooling off. Ironically, I miss work tremendously, and moreover, I miss being productive! BUT…I’m finding a disconnect in that I want both/and. Funny, are we ever just OK with the way things are? This is when I know that HE created this God shaped vacuum in my heart that NOTHING can fill but His Spirit in me. I can be a FT mom or a FT teacher…or PT both, and still, I’ll feel inadequate and guilty that I’m not doing enough.

Father, help me to not be filled with “guilt” or “fear” as I move to the next phase of motherhood and career-woman. Help me to take one day at a time and make the MOST of that day. Thank you for the blessing of little Tater Tot.

The WALL….From A-Z

Recently, while perusing HOUZZ, the coolest design website besides my cousin’s design blog, I was inspired by the alphabet wall for the baby’s room. I just haven’t known what to do to decorate her already boring white space, so I’ve been in research mode. I came upon this design and realized I could do something similar! My dear mom bought wooden letters to paint white, and now we are designing each one.

The planning of the designs has been much more of a task than the actual painting process. I’m a “big picture” planner, and my mother is a “detailed” planner. She picked up a letter and just started to design it. Whereas I froze and said,”I have to see how the WHOLE thing will look before I can haphazardly pick up a letter and draw.” So it began.
We decided on 13 different designs repeated once to make 26! Now, the next step was the placement of what design goes where…
She came up with a key which looked similar to a scrabble board and off we went.
Today, I worked on the G and the U
We shall see! I’m enjoying the process, and hopefully Tatum’s wall will enjoy the letters!

A repentant heart

For some reason, I’m struck by the Lance Armstrong story.

Lance has broken records in not only cycling but in beating odds overcoming cancer. He’s started a foundation to help others, inspiring them with his story. But, now he has decided to come clean. He’s decided to admit he has lied all these years and has been doping during all those seven years of winning.

Wow.

So, why now? What are his motives? Is it our right to question his motives? Why do I even care?

What concerns me is the message he sends to the kids watching his career. However, lest we forget the beauty of confession? There is a need for confession and repentance for all of us and we know according to Romans, that we “have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We all know that when we ask for forgiveness with a truly repentant heart, it is freely given to us by the grace of God through the blood of Christ.”

I can sit here and question his motives, judge him for his immorality, doubt his heart, but really….it’s between him and God. If he truly has a deeply contrite heart, then he is forgiven. Whether we the people forgive him, is another story. Maybe the bigger issue is propping him up as a role model in the first place. As a parent, I must be careful on who I allow my child to worship. My hope is that she would love Jesus with all of her heart and follow Him as her example. Furthermore, I want to be her example in how I live my life.

Yes, I’m going to sin. However, and this is crucial…my sins, large or small, should grieve me enough to desire never to repeat them. I go to God regularly, willingly asking Him to examine my heart and “see if there is any offensive way in me” (Psalm 139:23). John Allan Lavendar said, “Before you pray for a change in circumstances, you should pray for a change in character.” Tatum will watch me and hopefully see MY heart.

As for Lance? God only knows if his confession is real. God only knows if he will repent and truly have a change of character.