Hay Happens and Hay's Happen

The past few days have tested me more deeply than I can put into words.
My body, already worn from months of struggle, reached its breaking point.
I was weak, dizzy, and so undernourished that even standing felt like climbing a mountain.
After several days of trying to manage at home….fighting nausea, fatigue, and cramping beyond livable, I finally went to the emergency room on Monday.

The Mayo Clinic ER was bright, sterile, and somehow comforting all at once.
They hooked me up to fluids … Lactated Ringer’s… a simple, clear bag that slowly gave my body what it had been missing.

As it dripped into my vein, I could almost feel my body whisper, thank you. BUT, I also had my dear husband next to me counting the minutes. We had to go through two and 1/2 bags and wait also for the blood test results. I only wished they could have given me a feeding tube.

The nurse, Courtney, was kind, the doctor gentle (and his last name was HAY!), and for the first time in days, I felt a bit more rested.
When I go through these VERY low days, I am reminded that I am never alone. Not alone because of my hubby and daughter, but MOSTLY, HIM.

I’ve spent so long trying to fix, control, and understand what’s happening inside me, but healing, true healing, isn’t just physical, it’s also spiritual.

As I lay there, I whispered a quiet prayer:
“Jesus, I’m tired. I can’t carry this by myself anymore. PLEASE I need a miracle.”
I remember who holds my story.

Now, as I start a new nutrition plan and rebuild one careful day at a time, I’m learning what hope really looks like: It’s not the absence of pain; it’s trusting that God can use even this season of weakness for something greater.

Each small improvement every shake I can tolerate (since now all I can tolerate is an elemental diet), every calm meal (to come!), every breath without nausea is a miracle in motion. I will follow up with my GI doctor and pray that we are on the road to fixing my gut for good!!

I still have a long road ahead, but I’m not walking it alone. I just need to keep going and fighting! I have such a great team, and for that, I’m so grateful to Jesus.

Tatum never ceases to amaze me with her imagination and creativity. This week, she engineered her very own Fidget Dispenser  completely from scratch!

With a cardboard box, paint, and some serious determination, she built a mini “vending machine” that actually works. You shake it, and  boom…. out pops a toy! Inside are all kinds of treasures: little squishies, keychains, and trinkets ready for “purchase.” She even made a price list on top and collected her first dollar.

Her creativity didn’t stop there. She also posted a set of “Bedroom Rules” on her door — complete with adorable woodland creature stickers and a mix of humor, logic, and sass:

“You break it, you buy it.
“No drama, no mess, no stress.
“Money is welcome : ).
And my personal favorite… “Have FUNN!!!”

I honestly have no idea where she gets these ideas from (ha!) but watching her invent, create, and take charge of her own little world makes my heart burst. She’s growing into such a mix of engineer, artist, and rule-writer extraordinaire.

She wrote directly to the mom. I am so proud of her bravery.

Hello this is Tatum Hay. I used to go to school with your son _______ at ______________ A while back me and him were playing Roblox when he stared to say that he loves me. I was super confused and this was out of the blue. Later the same day he started calling me terrible names like ugly and that I only have time for myself. He had pranked me into a relationship. When I apologized to him on discord later he said ez (easy) block and blocked me. A couple days later (I think) he added me back and apologized a lot. He then said he loved me again and again. This went on for a couple weeks. He kept saying he loved me. Then I left for the fall camp at my church. I said bye and he said bye back. When I got back I told him but he said he didn’t care and that it was “Good for me”. I asked him if he was mad at me and he said no. This was weird. I think it was either the next day or later the same day when he started calling me names. He called me a b*tch, ugly b__ard and more. I will send you the screenshots. Then later that day he said it was all a joke. Now at this point I hated my life. I had already told ______, ______, my mom and other moms about this. ________ started saying that he was screwed and I told him to pray multiple times. He then changed his profile to Pickle then he changed it to mine using a picture of my bird I had sent him. He started copying me. I was staring to cry. I told him multiple times to stop but he didn’t. The next day I woke up and his profile was changed back. Since then I have blocked him. My mom told the school but I’m not really sure what they are doing about it. I hope that ______knows that he has changed my life forever in a bad way. I forgave him but I will never forget.

Have a blessed day. 

Sometimes life hands our kids moments that make us want to step in and shield them completely. But then, every once in a while, we watch them rise on their own wiser, stronger, and more grounded in their faith than we ever imagined.

This week, my daughter experienced something no child should have to face. A boy from her past class … someone she thought was a friend …suddenly sent her a string of cruel, hurtful messages online. There was name-calling, mockery, and even an attempt to imitate her profile in what seemed like an effort to embarrass or confuse her. It was jarring, unprovoked, and wrong. UGH!

Well, thank God she came to me IMMEDIATELY crying and asking for help FIRST. But here’s the part that moved me most: Tatum never retaliated. She didn’t spiral into anger or shame (she started too!). Instead, she responded with truth and calm. ( When he tried to excuse it as “a joke,” she simply told him, “Pray and ask for forgiveness.” (wow)

That was it …no retaliation, no harshness, just a quiet reminder of accountability and grace. Although she was VERY HURT and told him to please stop over and over…he didn’t. I had to handle it with the school and parents. YUCK..but necessary. Also, her best boy friends, stood up for her and had her back with this boy. REAL FRIENDS. (She did say she would punch him if she ever sees him, but she won’t). (Secretly, I wanted to say OK…don’t judge me!)

Later, the next day, she spent her morning before school doing something that brought tears to my eyes…. she cleaned and redecorated her room, hanging up Scripture verses that reminded her of God’s goodness and love. She took what could have been a painful experience and turned it into a reason to strengthen her space and spirit.

As a mom, I’m proud beyond words. Watching your child choose light over darkness forgiveness over fury is humbling. It reminded me that character is revealed not in how we avoid hardship, but in how we respond to it. I still don’t know how the people involved will respond, but we will see.

We can’t control how others act, but we can control what we reflect back. And this week, Tatum reflected grace. I love you Taties.

Today brought SOME real answers. After months of nausea, fullness, and that all-too-familiar pressure that builds the minute I start to eat, my EndoFlip finally gave us a clearer picture of what’s going on inside.

The good news first: my stomach, pancreas, duodenum, and small intestine all looked healthy. No ulcers. No inflammation. No structural disease. Everything looked beautifully normal which, in the world of GI mysteries, is actually something to celebrate.

But then came the key finding:
my pylorus, the tiny muscular valve at the base of the stomach that opens to let food pass into the small intestine, was tight. Really tight.

That one word explains so much. When this valve doesn’t relax as it should, food can’t move forward. It just sits there — like guests waiting at a door that won’t open. That’s why I feel full so fast, why nausea hits after a few bites, and why I get that woozy, “blood-sugar roller coaster” feeling as my body tries to process food that’s stuck in the wrong place.

To help, my doctor injected Botox into the pylorus to calm and relax the muscle. I wanted to ask him to do my face to so I could have my face tighten up vs. loosen up. HA! The hope is that this will allow the valve to open more freely, letting food move through at a normal pace again. If it works, it could mean a turning point; a real chance to retrain my body and begin nourishing again without fear or pain.

The best part? This isn’t structural damage. It’s “neuromuscular likely tied to vagal-nerve dysregulation.” In other words, the wiring between my brain, nerves, and stomach just needs to be gently re-tuned. That means healing is possible.

So for now, I’m taking it slow. Small meals. Gentle movement. Deep breaths. Gratitude for a doctor who kept looking, and for a God who never stopped leading us toward answers.

Maybe this is the beginning of things moving — literally and figuratively — in the right direction.

The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy OUR (my) needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen OUR (my) frame.” — Isaiah 58:11

Even when my body feels stuck, I know He’s still moving. One step, one meal, one breath at a time.

Tatum went away for the first time to Jr. High YTH Camp with Scottsdale Bible Church (SBC), and oh my goodness…we missed her (well, I did… and the birds did too!). Cooper had his bone, so he was perfectly content, but the house just felt too quiet without her.

The camp sent plenty of updates, which helped so much…

She had the best time! She came home glowing..and SAD. New friendships! My heart is so grateful for the experiences she’s having and the people she’s meeting through this season. She walked in to a WE MISSED YOU extravaganza.

and in her room:

She asked me for about 15 hugs that night, and she didn’t want me to leave her room. I felt so grateful. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

This week, I took a tiny splinter out of Tatum’s foot. It was so small, yet it caused her so much pain.

It made me think of life….and even my own health journey. Sometimes it’s not the “big” battles that weigh us down the most, but the small, constant irritations: fatigue, discomfort, uncertainty, or even the daily frustrations that build up. A splinter might be tiny, but if left unchecked, it becomes consuming.

Perspective matters. Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6:34 not to worry about tomorrow because each day has enough trouble of its own. He calls us to hand Him both the “splinters” and the BIG things. When I keep my eyes on Him, the small things stay small, and even the big things don’t feel so overwhelming because they’re no longer mine to carry alone!

In my health, in our home, in our lives; it’s a daily practice of surrender. Trusting that He knows the size of every challenge, and He equips us with the grace to handle each one.

Keep the small things small, and trust God with the big things.