Month: October 2023

Kinda grateful! We got published again.

The three of us love to write together.

Remember the analogy of the frog placed in warm water. You slowly increase the temperature of the water, and he barely notices the change. It’s very subtle. However, eventually, he boils to DEATH. Yes, death. That, sadly, is what is happening to our world.
Oh, do I sound like an old fuddy duddy? Probably! But, I’m fine with that.

You see, you cannot escape the message that “you have to accept how we live” even if it is against God’s ways. But then if you say, “God ordained marriage to be between a man and a woman,” you are called a hater and a bigot. If we as Christians don’t accept one’s lifestyle, are we really hating them? Or are they hating us because we have a value system based on a rock solid truth. A truth based on how one feels is not a truth at all. So, throughout our culture now, if two women want to get married, we should just say, “OK, no big deal…they love each other.” True…they do love each other, but it still is not the way God intended. It’s ALL OVER media (TV shows, movies, social media)….women have wives and men have husbands. It’s just part of all the shows and movies now as if it were “normal.”

Case in point. CHILDREN’S BOOKS….

You heard me.

Tatum is reading a book right now that she saw at Barnes and Noble; it’s part of a series, and it seemed pretty harmless.

It was at her level, so I had no problem her buying it. Well, today, she was reading Chapter four, and she STOPPED MID PARAGRAPH.

Tatum: I’m not reading this book anymore.

Me: Why? What’s wrong with it.

Tatum: The librarian has a wife.

Me: The librarian is a man probably.

Tatum: Nope, read.

And there it is: Mrs. Havener, the librarian is very proud of her “wife’s” knitting.

Just subtly put within the paragraph. Any kid would read this and not think twice…just “normal.” That is what society is doing…normalizing this. Next thing you know, it’s just part of the way things are, and we just accept it.

Tatum, I’m so proud of your principles. I had nothing to do with your decision to stop reading this book.

May the frog be removed from the water! Help. us. Lord.

(Names of friends have been abbreviated due to privacy issues)

Tatum has two bosom buddies this year: F and K. (Actually, it started out with 3: F, K, and J) J changed her mind a week ago because she didn’t find them cool enough apparently.

These other two girls are truly kind, and they all like to read. Also, they do not seem to care that they are not “cool.” J, from the past, goes from friend group to friend group looking to “fit in.” (More of a follower according to Tatum). However, Tatum really likes J and misses her being a part of the threesome.

Also, there is a “cool” group (Tatum calls them the “E” group), and they have been known to gossip, tease, and exclude. However, Tatum is still kind to all of these girls. Just yesterday, J approached Tatum and wants to still be friends, but J doesn’t want K to be in their group. Dilemma for Tatum because she wants all to be together. AND..to put more salt on the wound, The “E” group wants to be friends with Tatum now. It’s a typical middle school tale of fickleness and exclusivity.

Tatum got in the car and said she wants to be in the “E” group and also with F and K. OH. Gosh, how to navigate

Well, Tatum and I usually read at night, but tonight, she wanted to talk. How can she be friends with both groups at the same time!?
YOU CAN!

But, do you have to hang out with all the girls? No. You are kind to all, but you have trust with only one or two.

We put F and E side by side. I asked her a series of questions: The “E” friends…Ok, yay! you have all of these fun cool friends! Then there’s F and K. You have what? Oh, comfort, loyalty, laughter. Let’s say, you are having a bad day, or you need a hug, or you have some trouble and you need support. Who is there?
OH, that is OBVIOUS! F! (and K too). Well. There. you. go. The “E” friend or E run…they run when you need them and then talk about you behind your back.

She then ran out of the room and grabbed some mini-journals. She said,
“I WANT TO START A GROUP AND BE THE LEADER: ANYONE CAN JOIN> Here are the rules:”

Ok;
ALSO< she ran and retrieved her BIBLE and found these two FOUNDATIONAL VERSES for which the group will be based:

She made a journal for K and one for F. She is going to present the journal to each girl tomorrow to see if they want to be a part. Then anyone can be in it.

Tatum and I discussed what is a LEADER today on the way to school.

LEADERS ARE NOT bossy, but influence others by serving and listening. They are kind and include all. People want to be around them (like Jesus) since they are no domineering.

Ok, Tatum take it away. Praying for courage and kindness.

XXOO Stay tuned for the Friend Report. (it’s a wild web we weave in the friend department when it comes to girls. I’ve been there and done that, and I’m ready to guide you, girl. Just stay true to YOU and to what God would want and WHO HE wants you to be).

AMEN.

She wanted to go shopping to buy lip gloss, and for her birthday, she wants a purse. (so she can carry all the necessary items: Books, lip gloss, journal, pens, crayons….ok, not probably not those anymore…heeheee) Also, earrings are important now.

She also asked when boys start noticing girls. winkwink

Questions abound! The little QT pie is growing up. So we went to Walgreen’s to peruse. Yes, peruse the “starter” lip glosses. These would be “Wet n Wild” because they are like $2.99. The “expensive” ones are like $14. This is Walgreen’s expensive. This is not “Nordstrom” expensive. Those MAC lipsticks are starting in the $30’s. Aye!

She is so pretty. And, she’s the kind of pretty she doesn’t know she’s so pretty. This is the more dangerous kind of pretty because of her humility.

Strap your seatbelts, folks. The 11’s are upon us!

Seeing how Tatum responds to sinful actions has been a fascinating observation. I love to see her heart and how she learns from her errors.

Unfortunately I had to confront her last week of something I saw on the iPad. Deep down, she knew she had made a grave error, but she did not know what to do or who to talk to.

This is when I am SO VERY GRATEFUL we have such a strong bond. She may not come to me immediately, but usually within a day or so, she MUST talk to me and confess or share her heart. I NEVER had this safety or comfort with my mom nor really with ANYONE. Suffice it to say, I often felt completely alone and afraid. Moreover, I did not have a relationship with God through Jesus, so I was even more starkly isolated. I can see now the ramifications of this in my current heart state. GRATITUDE that I have Jesus now, but also realization that I still have undealt with trauma inside. (like many do).

Welllllll, I asked Tatum about this so called situation, and she at first, looked puzzled and denied. She even tried to hide it like Adam and Eve. BUT, within 2 minutes, she told me everything. And then she started to cry because she had NO IDEA this even existed. She questioned WHY WHY WHY would a woman do this?
IT BECAME A HUGE blessing because it opened up the lines of MORE communication about the sacredness of our bodies and the privacy of them, exposing them only to our husbands. (saving that precious gift). Anything else is a slap in the face of God’s design.

WOW. This is the way to LEARN! Otherwise, it just sounds like piety and prudeness.

THEN, the coolest thing happened. She wrote a story.

C.A.T.H.A.R.S.I.S. CONFESSION. LESSON LEARNED (early on in life!)

                          Accidental errors        By: Tatum Hay

“Hey Opal, over here we have something to show you!” Opal’s friends,Harper, Zoe, August, and September were all standing huddled over a tablet. There was something sort of like a picture on the tablet and all the girls were gawking over the picture. 

That night nine-year-old Opal sat on her bed, talking to her mom. “ Mom, what am I supposed to do? I’ve done everything to forget that one picture of that one woman naked, it’s so terrible! What am I supposed to do?”  Opal’s brother , Greyson , who is five, walked into the room.  

August walked up to Opal the next day at school, and started pulling Opal’s arm. “ come on Opal we’re gonna go look at that one picture again. Are you coming or what? My brother yesterday, whose name is Russell, told me everything that is on the web.” Opal stared at August and yanked her arm back. “I don’t wanna be your friend anymore you’re so mean to me! You do everything just to make me your friend! But I’m done with you, me and my mom talked it over last night!” 

“Hey mom, I talked to August today we’re not friends anymore. Now I just gotta talk to Harper and September and all the others. Can I have a snack maybe like a cookie or something or a bag of Cheetos or something or-“ “Opal as much as I’m glad for you doing that,by the way that takes a lot of integrity, I can’t just forgive you ,snap ,just like that I just don’t know what to do. You’ve never done this before.“ 

That night Opal snuck outside with her phone. She went on Safari, and looked up naked women. She knew it was the wrong thing to do , But she did it anyways. “I know it’s the wrong thing to do God but please just forgive me for doing it just this once I’ll tell my mom and ask for forgiveness. You know what God I won’t get in trouble if I don’t tell my mom at all. Yes, that’s what I’ll do!“  

The door cracked open, and her babysitter Dora, stepped outside. “Hey Opal, what are you doing out here? It’s midnight, you know?”  Opal ducked behind a tree. Her entire body was shaking, and her mind was racing. She tried to hide her phone in her pocket. 

“Opal! What are you doing!“ Opal’s mom ran outside and caught Opal staring at naked pictures on her phone. 

Opal finally learned her lesson, but even though she begged for forgiveness, her mom still took away her phone for two months. 

Two weeks past and she ditched all of her old friends. But she found three new BFFs, Wednesday, Peter, and Jocelyn.  

Peter was a nice nine-year-old boy with brown hair that flung everywhere but when he wet it down with water, it stuck to his head like a magnet. He had three siblings, two sisters, and one brother, 12-year-old, Alyssa, 15-year-old, Fuchsia, and seven-year-old Grayson. 

Wednesday, on the other hand had beautiful golden hair that was always held back with a nice, beautiful purple headband that sparkled in the sun. She had four siblings, Nevermore, who is 15 and a girl, Prairie who is a boy, nine and her twin, Johnson who is a boy and 12, and Rocky who is a girl and nine. 

Jocelyn was a nice 10 year old girl, who had black hair that was always in a high ponytail, and she was the only child, but she didn’t get away with most everything in her house. 

Months later, Peter,Jocelyn,Wednesday, and Opal started a prayer group at school.  Several kids came a day to get prayers, but one day, Harper, the mean girl came over to get a prayer. “ Can you please pray for my mom, she’s fighting cancer. we used to be well, Christians, but ever since she got sick, we fell away. “ 

This little one. She enjoyed the PVCP picnic with Daddy and came home all butterflied up! Apparently she and Kacey got matching designs to make a complete butterfly.

And then, in the morning…our pets.

Cooper is all about play until the BIG SCARY RIO comes a-tweeting towards him. Cooper gets all flustered.

Rio is clueless of how he taunts the little white fluffball.

The joys.

Tatum is so excited to play you!
In the PVCP Christmas concert!

She tried out, and she GOT IT. Here are her lines:

(In the character of Mary) – It all started when I was visited by an unexpected guest…an angel.  Instantly, I was scared to death!  

He told me not to be afraid & then he reassured me that I found favor with God.

He actually said that I was highly favored and that the Lord was with me.

He told me that I would conceive and give birth to a Son…not just any son…but the Son of the Most High…the Son of God! 

I was to name Him, ‘Jesus.’…Yeshua…meaning Deliverer…Rescuer.

My head was spinning…

WAIT!!!  I’m supposed to be marrying Joseph…How can this happen?  Why me? My family?  We would all be disgraced.

I was scared…I was uncertain…..but I was CHOSEN…….chosen…

(PAUSE FOR OTHER NARRATION TO BE STATED ) 

I am the Lord’s servant.  May Your Word to me be fulfilled.

SHE TRIED OUT with so many other students, and a few days later, we got this email from Mrs. Cline.

Congratulations!

This email is to notify you that Tatum has been selected to be Mary for this year’s Christmas program.

We are so excited and proud of you, TOT!