It’s difficult to not take things personally; to remain objective and unaffected by ranging emotions that come at you as a mom. Of course, I analyze the why instead of just accepting what is at the moment and going with it. I try to figure out what have I done? Well, honestly, we moms do the best we can at the moment and then we analyze it later. There is no “BEST” and there is no “PERFECT.” All we have is the wisdom granted to us by God and through experience. Problem is I have NONE…so I analyze. and. analyze. and. analyze. Tired.
Tatum and I started the week at the park in North Scottsdale with the other moms. Cold as it was, Tatum and I nestled on the blanket while Jennie sneaked a picture of us. I ate up this moment with Tot because for three days, she did not want me to hold her or touch her. The minute I’d want her her she’d run the other way. What is that!? She was truly exerting herself and the word “nice” was not resonating. I found myself picking her up countless times during the day to have a lil’ chat.
She even wanted to read by herself on the rocking chair.
A phase. A phase of “Mom, I got this. I don’t need you right now.” OK, so I give her the space. Then, three days later, I get a clingy Tatum. She wants me to hold her, hug her, kiss her, sit by her…BE WITH HER.
It was then that it hit me. Tatum is becoming her own person, and she does not know how to express this quite yet except to exert herself.
I accept that, but teaching her to be kind in the process is what is vital. When I pick her up from running off, I whisper that she is such a big girl to get to run and play, but it’s mommy’s turn to choose what we are doing or where we are going. I love how confident and independent she is, but I also love that she always peeks to see if I’m watching or present. I am. I truly am.
This two year old phase may seem “terrible” to some, but to me, it’s an opportunity to teach her to be confident in herself, but to do it with grace and not emotional breakdowns. Sadness, madness, frustration, anger……all completely OK and important to feel. But HOW it is acted out is what needs to be tempered. Whining and..well, whining more, is NOT acceptable. In fact, my ears go deaf and she know she can re-“tune” her words to me!
Just the other day, she laid down and had a wee-tantrum at the library class. When she appeared to be done, I went up to her and said, “Are you finished?” She looked at me with confidence and said, “Yes.” We then thanked Ms. Allison, gave hugs, and she was fine the rest of the morning.
One day at a time…working through the emotions.
All she wanted today was to be held and carried. Did I complain? Not with a love this strong.
