Month: January 2013

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I’m serving HIM in all I do.

“Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!”-Psalm 100:2

Attitude really is everything…and so is perspective. It was just this morning I cried out to my mother, “When does this get fun?…She’s so miserable and I can’t help her!”
It’s so easy to become myopic and just see my day as one big three hour routine. It’s another to soak in every second and see every second as a blessing (no matter how loud the screams sound)

When I change her diaper; when I clean up her milk stains; when I comfort her out of her stomach ailments (if possible); when I redirect Coti…all I do, I do unto Him. I’m serving HIM. This is my ministry right now. There is joy to come after all of the work.

Dearest Lord, Help Tatum’s system settle and help us find the right formula and/or combination with or without medicine. Help me to stay focused on You through this and to see the joy in the midst of the routine.

 

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The word of the day is SH_T: Part 2!

Wanting Tatum to go and NOT wanting Coti to go! Today it was all about SHI ___.

Yesterday, Tatum was PLUGGED UP! So, off to the store for some suppositories. Yes, we had success. Not today. Heave ho Heave ho…wince wince...:-( Nothing. And there was not much rejoicing. Now, before I could do the magic insertion, I figured I’d play with Coti a bit! Last night was his dog training lesson,  (and he was a model student as opposed to usual when I want to wear a mask and say, “not my dog!”) so we threw the squeaky hot dog and then practiced his model behavior. Perfect! OK…back to Tatum. I searched high and low for the box of glycerine tubes. As I entered the room where I had left Coti, he ran and hid in a corner. As he did this, trailing behind him were THREE empty suppository tubes. The first thing that went through my head was not my dog’s health. It was my pocketbook! $9 down the drain! No, just kidding. I prayed there was ONE left for Tater Tot. OK..Now I worried (well, Tatum and I both were concerned) about Coti and how lovely his disposals would be and which end would they be ejected..!?

 

Coti ended up running to his happy place so as to not inflict more frustration on me.

Thank goodness there was one plastic tube left for Tatum’s pleasure. I tried the insertion (YELP!) and hoped for her ejection. Still nothing, but I am still waiting. In terms of Coti? I am giving him a bit of rice to bind him up if needed. We just went around the block and he had to stop about five times to do his business. And it was a ten-story edifice.

AAAHHH>>>What has my life become?! Full of SH_T!? 🙂

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Coti, Constipation, and Cuteness

Yes…he’s doing everything to get my attention. Last night, Coti snuggled up on the place where Tatum spends play time. “Maybe she’ll play with me if I hang here…or just sleep and look cute.” He comes alive when it’s TTT.

You see, this morning, I “worked” on Tatum to loosen her a bit, if you know what I mean.

Her poor digestive system! If it’s not gas, it’s bloating..if it’s not that, it’s the big C! She’s plugged up like a tight coiled water hose. She’ll blow at any moment! Or will she? Looks like not so much, so I must find a solution. Dr. mentioned trying Glycerin suppositories. Now, this required a very uncomfortable insertion into a not so pleasant area of her body. But…..after wailing, screaming, fear of “what the heck you doin to me, mom…”….SUCCESS! 🙂

Now, she’s lookin pretty darn cute…

Being a mother is just one moment at a time! 🙂

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Is soy the answer?

Happiness…I guess it’s what I seek for Tatum. This punctures me to the core because I can’t help her get it right now. Maybe this is my ego talking, but the confidence and security I have in myself is waning because I can’t ease her pain.

The process occurs every three hours seven days a week. She sucks down that bottle with every fiber of her being. I make funny faces with her and sing silly songs. Then about seven minutes later she stiffens up, kicks her legs and starts to wince. She is trying to release something very painful inside. So then it starts….I pull out every trick in the virtual book…anything! Patting her back, massaging her belly, rubbing her lower side, bicycling her legs, spinning her around on her head…Ok, that last one I don’t really do, but I’m ready to try it!

Finally, I put her down in the fetal position and lightly shake her legs as I insert binky. Please relax, Tater Tot! She eventually will fall asleep but with much consternation. Fussing will begin eventually, and this is when I question everything. Pick her up? Leave her alone? Wiggle her a bit? This haunts me daily.

Today, I switched to Prosobee after 6 1/2 weeks of Enfamil Gentlease. I pray it works for her and relieves her gas…today it was constipation. That poor girl’s digestion… As a child I loved Prosobee, so maybe she will too.

I love you Tater Tot. Please find your happy place.

Yesterday:Today:

 

 

 

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Soothing. How much is too much?

Today, I attempted to go to church. Tatum slept soundly in her car seat as I clasped her seat to my City Jogger. Yes! I thought as I walked into the empty lobby due to me being a few minutes tardy. Quietly, I found a seat in the back and attempted to focus on the music. Tatum started to fuss; however, two minutes prior, a couple of friends stopped by to check her out. My sweet sleeping child looked so peaceful in her rest! They were so enraptured by her adorableness. Sure. They missed the next minute. Fuss Fuss Fuss…..”Mom, I’m not comfortable….Mom, I’m gassy…Mom, I’m getting hungry..” Who knows what it was!!?

My feeble attempts to force….hem…I mean place the binky between her sweet little lips was not working. I felt like a genie granting all of her wishes, and soon I began to wonder.. How much is too much? Am I supposed to answer her fusses in hopes she’ll stop making noise? Am I creating a monster? Or..am I comforting my uncomfortable child because she’s my child for crying out loud! She’s just a dependent little infant! Oooooh..the questions…ooooh the guilt. Exit door left as I hear,    “Do you know we have a cry room?” So, off I go and enter a packed house. Apparently, many babies don’t like church. Fuss fuss fuss… It’s getting close to that hour of wailing, “I’m STARVING!” What was the sermon about again? My holy, Godly voice has shut up. It now says, “Get out while the girl is just fussing and not screaming.”

So I did. Hmmmph. I miss church. I still love my little cherub, but she’s got to self-soothe! Help.

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Family is messy

But they are ours. We don’t choose our families. This may be an excuse to not have to work out problems which occur because they’ll “be there no matter what.” Will they? However, being there and really BEING in relationship are two different things entirely. One can have a lifetime with brothers, cousins…even parents and not really be known or know them.

Working on friendships and love relationships seems to take precedent when conflict arises. Sadly, we search for that perfect community which might not be in our own families. Can’t this be solved by wrestling with the hard issues? There is no perfect family….not one.

This is the year of the family; my family however messy or hard it may be…I will be a true member.

 

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Isaiah 49:8

Today’s devotion from Charles Spurgeon for some reason really hit home.

Last night, I entered a dark place in my heart with some anxiety and fear. Sadly, for a momentary time, I had forgotten the incredible gift which God has bestowed upon me in Jesus. He is my perfect Savior who loves me no matter what. Spurgeon puts it best: “Our blessed Jesus, as God, is omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent. Will it not console you to know that all these great and glorious attributes are altogether yours? Has he power? That power is yours to support and strengthen you, to overcome your enemies, and to preserve you even to the end. Has he love? Well, there is not a drop of love in his heart which is not yours.”

For Tatum to know that her mom is secure in her faith and foundation is my wish. Moreover, for her to experience this infinite love in Jesus trumps all of my desires.

He sums it up: “My God, I am thine–what a comfort divine! What a blessing to know that the Saviour is mine! In the heavenly Lamb thrice happy I am, And my heart it doth dance at the sound of his name.”

Isaiah 49: 8: Thus says the Lord:”In a time of favor I have answered you;in a day of salvation I have helped you;I will keep you and give you as a covenant to the people,to establish the land,to apportion the desolate heritages,

 

Jesus. Love, Justice…Mine. I have no