Hay Happens and Hay's Happen

I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I eat clean, exercise, and live with intention — depending on and trusting in Jesus every step of the way.
I homeschool my daughter, work hard as a professor at GCU, love on my husband (as best I can — I could do much better), workout daily, breathe clean air, BLAH BLAH…and invest deeply in my health.

So why, after doing everything “right,” did I end up battling deep, debilitating fatigue…
…leg weakness and pain,
…nausea,
…gut pain,
…and neurological crashes that leave me unable to function?

The answer wasn’t obvious.
It wasn’t a diagnosis I could point to.
There was no “black mold” disaster. No dramatic exposure. No moment I could rewind and say this is where it all changed.

There was just a faint memory —
A smelly house I lived in years ago.
A flood in my condo.
A musty classroom I taught in.
A “maybe.”

And yet… here I am.
Holding a lab report that shows high levels of aflatoxins, fumonisins, heavy metals like arsenic and thallium, flame retardants, VOCs, and more.
Not just trace amounts.
These toxins have been growing in my body for years. Quietly. Relentlessly.

There were more in the yellow, but these are quite scary and apparently cancer causing.

A Silent Health Crisis

What I’ve come to understand is that this is a slow poisoning.
Most people’s bodies are built to buffer it.
Mine isn’t.
I likely had genetic vulnerabilities in detox and immune regulation, meaning the toxins didn’t leave — they stored. And over time, they created a storm that no one could see coming.

Worse, no one believed it for a long time. I was told: • “Your labs are normal.”
• “Try antidepressants.”
• “You’re anxious.”
• “Just eat more.”

But I wasn’t anxious.
I was toxic.

And had I not kept searching — had I not trusted my body’s voice over the dismissals — I might never have uncovered this.

 This Wasn’t Just About Feeling Sick — It Was About Preventing What Comes Next

The toxins in my body don’t just cause fatigue or cramps.
They’re linked to: • Liver cancer (aflatoxin B1)
• Kidney degeneration (citrinin, ochratoxin)
• Autoimmunity and immune suppression (fumonisins)
• Endocrine disruption and DNA damage (styrene, perchlorate, arsenic)

Had this gone untreated for another decade, the outcome could have been far more devastating — not just functional decline, but irreversible disease.

So yes, I’m tired.
Yes, I have to be careful with food, supplements, and even sunlight some days.
But I may also be avoiding cancer, avoiding kidney failure, avoiding tragedy.

 What I Wish I Knew Sooner

I remember from 2018 to 2021 — the bloating, the gas, the cramping, the abdominal pain.
The food eliminations. The shrinking diet. The hopelessness.

I went from doctor to doctor, searching for answers.
My primary care doctor offered conventional meds.
My naturopath put me on rounds of herbal antibiotics and “gut protocols.”
Each protocol came with hope. And each one ended in disappointment.
I’d find a new and improved doctor, only to be handed another theory, another supplement, another “next step.”

In 2023, I started with Dr. Patel. That journey led to MORE weight loss (not needed!), but it also brought a storm of problems: low hormones, low thyroid, nutrient depletion. We chased symptoms. My gut continued to deteriorate.

And guess what? That keeps the doctor in business.
We worked on symptoms.
More money, more tests, more protocols — while the root cause sat silently beneath it all.

Then came Dr. Katz — another specialist, another wave of tests.
Eventually, I was diagnosed with EoE (eosinophilic esophagitis).
It felt like a moment of clarity… but even that was just another chapter in the story of chasing symptoms, not sources.

And now here I am.
Finding out that maybe — just maybe — had someone tested for the toxic burden back then…
Had someone looked beyond the gut protocols and hormone panels…
Had someone asked the harder questions…

Maybe it wouldn’t have become this monster.
Maybe I wouldn’t be waking up some days barely able to function, walk, or eat.

 If You’re Reading This…

I share this not for pity, but to help someone else wake up sooner.

If you have a mysterious illness…
If your symptoms come and go without reason…
If you’ve been told “it’s all in your head”…
Please know: there may be toxins in your system that your doctor isn’t testing for.

And please know this:

Healing is possible.
It’s slow. It’s nonlinear.
It will shake you.
But it is possible.

Every layer you peel back… every test, every realization…
It brings you closer to truth. And truth sets the body free.

This is my war.
But it just might be someone else’s rescue story.

Tatum wanted to move back into her old room. As you know, we cleaned out her closet (HAPPYSAD) and got rid of so many of her old toys. We did keep a lot for her kids…and MOSTLY BOOKS!!
But, she really wanted her big old room back and I don’t blame her!

I had her clean out her drawers too. IT FEELS SO GOOD to get rid of stuff! What is that about!?

And Doug disassembled and reassembled and disassembled again… So much work and so appreciated!

Tatum asked to have my artwork back on her walls. (wince..so grateful that she wants it!)

And …..OOOOOOH! SO PERTY!

SO HOMEY!

We have: READ, LEARN, CREATE, EXPLORE, PLAY, IMAGINE, SHINE and BELIEVE along the rim of the wall. SO COOL> Coopy loves it too.

How can I show her how much?

The honor of having you as my daughter makes me shine. …like you do.

And of course your skin must shine as well!

I love you beyond words.

Now go make some ice cream.

We enter summer ready for more joy and laughter. To infinity and beyond with our Jesus!

Such a bittersweet day—our last day of 6th grade. We started most mornings with a cozy breakfast, sometimes a surprise, and always a Bible verse to set the tone. From there, we’d ease in with bellwork, warm-ups, and of course, daily writing. You tackled fun and challenging grammar using the four levels, and you learned 147 stems! We refined five-paragraph essays, practiced critical reading strategies, and worked through math until mastery—moving from struggles to confidence.

Many days, I didn’t feel well. I had to lie down again after we started, but I showed up. And you did, too. You had your own challenges as we searched for the right ADHD support. I wrestled with the idea of medication, but we finally found the right fit—and what a difference that made. It was hard, but necessary, to face how ADHD affects everyday life.

You kept writing your book about Blosl—you’re on chapter 3 already! You read nearly a book a week, wrote daily, and in March, something special happened: Aunt Connie moved to Arizona. That bond between you two has blossomed beautifully. Weekly art days with her have become something you both treasure, and I know they’ve added a layer of joy and creativity to your weeks.

We also made the brave decision to leave the COOP mid-year, and I know now it was absolutely the right choice. This shift brought us closer—more like sisters, really. We’re entering 7th grade not just older, but stronger, wiser, and more connected.

This summer, we’ll keep going with history, math, and your favorite: reading. And of course, you’ll keep writing your book.

Here is an example of a final writing assignment. We watched an episode of the Twilight Zone and I had her write:

Sometimes, getting everything you want isn’t actually as fun as it sounds.

In A Nice Place to Visit, an episode from The Twilight Zone, a man named Rocky thinks he’s in Heaven because he gets everything he asks for—like money, girls, and winning every game. But soon, he realizes that having everything all the time is actually really boring. The episode teaches that too many worldly pleasures can feel empty and annoying after a while. Things like fame, riches, and being popular may sound amazing, but they don’t always lead to real happiness. 

At the start of the episode, Rocky dies during a robbery and wakes up in a fancy place with anything he wants. A man named Pip tells him he’s in “the good place,” and Rocky is super excited. He asks for beautiful girls, a cool apartment, and tons of money. And he gets it all right away. At first, he thinks it’s awesome. He never loses a game, he always wins, and everyone loves him. But after a while, Rocky starts to get tired of everything going his way. 

The girls around him don’t feel real. They just do whatever he wants. The money doesn’t mean anything because he doesn’t have to work for it. Even when he tries gambling, he always wins, and that takes away the fun. Rocky realizes that when life is too perfect, it’s not really living at all. There’s no challenge, no excitement, and nothing to look forward to. He starts to feel bored and even a little sad. 

By the end of the episode, Rocky begs Pip to send him to “the other place” because he can’t stand being in this so called paradise. Then Pip laughs and says, “This is the other place.” That’s the big twist. What Rocky thought was Heaven was actually his version of Hell. It shows that too much of a good thing—like money, fame, and girls can become the worst thing ever. Without hard work or meaning, all those things don’t make you truly happy.  

So, even though A Nice Place to Visit starts off looking like a dream, it actually turns into a nightmare. The episode shows that worldly pleasures might seem fun, but they get old and tiring when they’re too easy to get. At first, Rocky loved the idea of a perfect life. But in the end, he learned that real joy comes from the ups and downs, not from always getting your way. 

I love you, Tot. I’m so proud of who you are becoming.

Today, I woke up not feeling as youthful as I KNOW I am. It was a TOUGH health day…man, like a MACK truck hit me and I fell 10 steps behind. Sadly, it was the same day as my birthday.

No worries, I’d make it a bit memorable. I decided to make Tot a happy brekkie. Before that, I noticed my honey left me a surprise in the bathroom.

Oh, so kind. Very thoughtful.

Brekkie and school time!

We are wrapping up this week, AND preparing for the BIG TOT Move! She is moving across the hall back to her old bedroom (the HAYVEN). SO>>>>>>we dove through the closet which had ALL of her toys/memories/games/life. AAAHHH How is it that these are past?

These piles here are saved for her kids. HER KIDS!! WHAT!? Like we are planning for her children already. But, hey, that is what my mom did for me. She saved ALL my baby stuff.

Happily, she is saving her PLETHORA of stuffies.

Now we are going to go through the books next. YIKES! We have 2 rooms full, so we definitely can pare down.

So many people reached out today to make me feel special. Sadly, I was just so sick that I couldn’t enjoy it. We will celebrate on Thursday.

One thing that STOOD OUT was an email I got from our DEAN of the College of Ed at GCU:

15 years. Sheesh! That is just so cool…so amazing.

I’m so grateful to my family and GCU. Thank you, Jesus for all my blessings.

She sang and spoke today!!! Oh, what a joy to see her be so poised and articulate.

This was the chapel, so it always brings back happy memories. This was the bathroom mirror for which prepped for my WEDDING!! I had to take a shot.

A bit older and wiser. And happier in some ways. In others, I’m waiting for that day of pure healing. We are on that journey.

So proud of my Tot. So grateful for my life.

Coopy, Dad, and Tot all surprised me again on Thursday. I did not want to go out to dinner, so we just stayed in and they made me feel so special. Even Coopy got me a card!

Then my honey of course had me open my cards> He always buys the perfect ones.

Tatum, I thought had forgotten, and then…IT HAPPENED. She played for me a video she had been working on. And just ….just WOW! I felt so honored.

It was to the song, “Best Day of my Life.”

(that meant a lot…know that she sees this about me…and that I never left her side/always there for her)

Really?

Go on!!

Then she had this countdown

to…..an explosion!

I LOVE YOU TOT!

Truly the best day of my life was the day you entered it.